Fan Fiction
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Breathe– Chapter 22
Unfortunately, the perfect smile that had lit up every room she entered in life provided little or no access to the investigators in death.
With each sound of metal pushing and scraping against enamel, the tension in the room increased until the room itself seemed to breathe in short, halting gasps.
Man or women, medical specialist or law enforcement regardless of their role or training, came together as one mourning the victim and detesting the man who played games with life and death.
“Oh, *****,” Kaplan said loudly as teeth were no longer a match for metal or the strength of two men applying force and tension. As her front teeth crumbled, Bette bit her lower lip and crossed quickly to retrieve a small evidence bag.
James caught the crumbling pieces of enamel in his palm and as he looked at Kaplan he saw the tears mixed with sweat start to stream down the young man’s face.
As Bette kneeled next to the two men who were breathing heavily from exertion and emotion Kaplan almost sobbed “I am so sorry. So very, very sorry.”
Bette opened her mouth to respond, intending to offer him words of comfort and understanding when she realized he was not speaking to her. She swallowed her own tears as did everyone in the room as they realized he was apologizing to the young woman who could no longer hear him.
After sealing the broken teeth in an evidence bag, Kaplan retrieved a small pen light and bent closer to look in the dark interior of the victim’s mouth. He leaned back on his heels, wiping his brow with the back of his gloved hand and shaking his head said, “Well at least we didn’t mutilate the poor girl for no reason.”
The tightness in Bette’s chest returned, this time in such a vice-like grip that she couldn’t catch her breath. She wiped her damp palms on her thighs and still kneeling next to the two men asked, “Do you want me to get it?” not knowing if Kaplan was in any condition to continue.
He shook his head with force, gathering strength that could clearly be heard in his voice. “No. The damage has been done. If he wants to send us a message,” Bette was surprised at the anger now creeping into the assistant ME’s words. “The least we can do is listen closely and use it to bury the ***** *****,” he finished, retrieving a small pair of forceps that reminded Bette of eyebrow tweezers.
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(57 votes, average: 3.89 out of 5)
Another great chapter!!!Keep them coming can’t WAIT!
Sox – This story continues to be simply amazing. Thanks so much.
Another Great chapter Sox. Thanks so much for this story.
OMG I LOVE THIS STORY! You really know how to get someone’s attention! PLEASE post again soon!
fantastic story, just like reading a bestseller, looking forward to next post.
Your talent amazes me to no end. My eyes were glued to these last chapters that felt so real, as if they, the chapters, were being enacted on a live television broadcast. Damn! You’re good.
Amazing story, amazing detail…and once I got past the breaking teeth in this chapter I really enjoyed it….LOL…yikes! Wonderful story!
Man, this is an amazing story…I can’t believe how real it seems. As a reader, I feel the emotions of the characters…Excellent, just excellent.
SOX, YOUR A WONDERFUL STORY TELLER.I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS STORY…GREAT JOB….
While reading this ,you forget to breathe. Cold chills and goosebump over you body. Glad I have two big chows and an attack cat. This is so well written,you feel like you are in the room with them. THANKS
This story is so incredible!! I just read the last 2 chapters and I’m home alone and creeped out! lol I’ll turn on the alarm :) Please keep posting I love the suspense!!
WOW!! This is so dramatic and well written! I feel like I’m watching Law and Order. Great update!
Wow thanks for the birthday present, I love this story!
Sox – you are completely blowing me away. From the details of the forensic processes to Bette and Tina’s amazing connection and need to the Bette’s understanding the mind of a killer – you are hitting it out of the park completely. Girl you should be publishing this stuff. I can’t believe I was on line and caught it right when you posted – such a late night treat. Thanks for all your hard work and for sharing it with us.
Thank you Sox for sharing with all of us your awesome story and your incredible writing skill, I feel my heart skip beats as I slowly read my way through each impacted word. I just want to savor every moment of this lucid drama, I cannot wait for your continuation of Bette and Tina’s incredibly captivating story!
This is better than TV! I know, the written word always is, but in your case, it’s true. You shared with us how Bette’s first love died. Will she be faced with a similar situation with Tina? I hope not although I know it might help Bette to lay the memories to rest. Can’t wait to read more of this. Thanks again.
you just keep getting better, each chapter has me sitting in awe, my mouth and throat go dry, just reading this. It’s beyon words to try to express this story that is un folding in front of me.
I have read tons of mystery/thrillers and they just can’t compare. I don’t know what it is about you and this story. I crave it.
There is so much humanity in Jeff Kaplan. His overwhelming sense of respect and protection makes you glad that he was there to assist. That scene was one of the most powerful that I have read. I had tears running down my cheeks. Gruesome in it’s neccessity and terrifying in it’s results. There is a sickening maliciousness with this ubiquitous killer.
The way you are building up the suspense is masterful. Each agonizing step is drawing us closer to the edge of the high dive.
Does Bette trust that the killer won’t stop at impersonating an officer? He seems to think that he’s invincible at this point. I’m hoping that Tina doesn’t trust implicitly and takes precautions to make sure that if something chages, it’s because Bette herself has ordered it.
I love that your story is filled with subtle innuendo and symbolism. It makes our playing detective that much sweeter.
And you’re right…you are entitled to a little fun with your hubby. Besides, if it results in another great chapter like this – then we might be able to share him after all.
More…please!
keeps getting better and better and better..!!!!!!!
I’m actually shaking as I finish reading this chapter. I had the same thoughts as Lsbn about the possibility of impersonating an officer and I just hope a form of password is implemented, scary for Tina, but necessary to try and keep her safe.
I do feel that I am saying the same thing over and over again but I don’t care. This is great This is great. This is great. I love all the procedural details; makes me feel I am really there.
Bette is going to have a hard time coping with all this. She is in an emotionally charged state. She has just met somebody and both of them have in a way fixated on each other. There is going to be an ongoing serious and imminent danger – at least in the short possibly to medium term complicated by what happened to Bobbie. She is going to have to deal with her emotions in an mature, intelligent AND articulate way. Is she up to it? All we have really seen of Bette so far is that she shuts down and holds everything in – don’t see how she can do this here and keep everything together with her job. This story is the absolute best on this site.
sox i.am.speechless. im so tense that i cant go to bed. this has my mind just spinning. the connection between b/t is overwhelming the way you write it. i truly feel everything that all the characters are feeling. what a sicko. to have to witness something like that and then be normal for the ones they love. how hard would that be. im feeling this. hopefully you wont forget about us over the weekend. dont know if my mind can take it. thank you for this.
That was great but the suspense is killing me. Please type faster.
Wo! So intense! I did not even think about a police impersonator till someone commented…..I hope not!
I’m very worried for our favorite girls.
Please thank you hubby for his williness to share you, and thank you for sharing your story with us.
i swear i dont no how im gonna get thru next week without knowing whats going on in your story im gona go crazy but the upside is if u post everyday i’ll have a weeks worth of stories to read when i get back!! this chapter was so dramatic and real this guy is really starting to piss me off i almost screamed at the computer this morning but realised that if i did i would get in trouble. keep it up cant wait for the next one!!
Hey sox I’m just catching up Whoa! it getting Intense and very dramatic written I Love it I can’t read in the evening it is scare Me LOL! Please continue post soon and Thanks.
I’m sincerely astounded by your impressive knowledge and mastery in matter of police procedure ! Your detective story is so powerful, I’m speachless…
Really, you should seriously think about writing detective novels or scripts or whatever you’d prefer to do. I mean it. You have the gift for that, really.
There’s such a thrilling escalation of blind violence, deepest and strongers emotions possible, fears, questions marks, hate and love… So intense ! And, in addition, marvelously written.
You. are. talented. A lot.
God, more than ever I cannot wait to know what will happened now !
Thank you – a LOT !
Well, well, well – first let me say the quality of your work never disappoints. Another impeccably written chapter.
Although the fear that Bette must feel knowing that this guy was in her safe space is intense, it seems necessary as she needs to know what she is up against. I am also glad that she is not retreating from Tina, as could easily be the case due to the intense circumstances surrounding their union. However, I am not convinced that the Four Seasons is a safer place considering the very average nature of this guy’s appearance. Even if he does not impersonate a police officer, I’m sure he can slip by the hotel staff fairly easily since he must look harmless.
I hope he continues to plan the perfect attack for Tina (thus giving Bette more time to determine his identity) while executing his current M.O. on other victims (I know that must sound insensitive, but if he has to kill again I wouldn’t want it to be one or both of our girls). However, I also know that extending his planning time may not be plausible since he is losing patience.
Surely he left another piece of himself at this crime scene considering he had the arrogance to return several hours after the crime was committed.
Anyway, Sox I beg you to give Bette and Tina a few hours of peace together. Bette needs a mental reprieve to maintain her sanity and Tina needs to be close to Bette again.
this is like Law & Order SVU or similar, you got me spooked!!! That killer is in for the run of his life, ’cause bette ain’t gonna let nothin happen too Tina!!!
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. This guy is sick and you’re starting to give me nightmares Sox, have Bette catch the asshole before I suffer from being sleep deprived buddy! Post soon I love how into the story you’ve got me!
Oh My God!! If its comments you need to keep this story going, then comments you will get!! Your story is A-MAZ-ING! I find myself coming to this site more and more just to see if YOU have posted…Im addicted!! You have the balance between the story and the relationship and the occasional chapter in the killer’s view PERFECT! And the details are incredible! Keep up the great work and post soon!
Just amazing! Your story really take our breath away.
I wonder how Bette will keep Tina safe…because from what i can see he is following Bette…so now that Bette will meet Tina he will know again where she is right ??. Gosh im sooo loving this story! Post soon!.
Wow!!! Your words are so detailed, I feel like I need to run, somewhere, and do something, but WHAT?!!!
My goodness Sox, I needed to take a minute to compose myself. You have me feeling EVERY word, emotion and action; and not just from Bette and Tina, but all the other participants as well.
Polarice said it first, you make one feel like they’re watching L & O SVU.
I ditto mc’s comment for the exception of being online; I had sat here and read so many other stories that I eventually went to sleep and it would seem, right when you posted, but I’m glad that I had the chance to read it now.
Happy Birthday to you Jackiee!!!!
@ Bettyv….nothing like an “attack cat” for protection :) LOL
God..my heart just pounds reading this story. You will definitely get an award next time..Sox. Amazing
Hope Tina will be ok with the cop there!