Kit: You going to be ok baby girl?

Tina: Yes I will Kit. Dont worry about me. Ill be fine. You guys enjoy your time in New York. Im definite Bette would be ecstatic to have you guys there.

Alice: Well I bet shed be even happier if you decided to come!

I swallowed and Kit shot her a look.

Kit: Well, we wont be gone for long. Its just for the weekend. Well be back before you know it. Take care ok? Now give me a hug.

I hugged Kit. She has been there for me ever since Bette has walked out of my life three years ago and Im thankful I have her.

Alice: Ill call you ok?

Tina: Ok Al. You guys have fun!

Alice: Oh we will Tee! I just wish you were coming with us.

Alice smiled and turned around. I waved Alice and Kit goodbye at the terminal. Theyre going to see Bette in New York and I have made my decision to stay here. I dont think I can fly to NY and see Bette after all these years.

As I got back to work, Oscar greeted me with a warm smile.

Tina: Hey!!! I didnt know youre back!

Oscar: Yeah it was cut short. Can I see you in my office Tina?

Tina: Yeah sure.

Oscar: Please sit down Tina.

Tina: Thanks. So? Did they go with your proposal?

Oscar: Well apparently I came a little bit too late. Theyve already put their foot down for the centre in San Diego. We didnt have a chance to start with.

Tina: What?

Oscar: Yeah, they just signed the deal a day before my presentation. So now we need to get our proposal out to some other body.

Tina: Oh no. I thought we nailed them. I was certain the institution would go for us.

Oscar: It looks like wed have to find other options Tina. I know weve looked for specific institutions offering grants to social services like us but I think we need to go after institutions like the Stella Institution. Or maybe we could talk to the Peabody Foundation for another year of donation…They have been there for us for the last three years

The mention of that name made my lung constrict.

Tina: Maybe we can go to other institutions apart from the Peabody foundation. Theyve funded us for three years straight and last year saw the least contribution. Im not sure theyd want us again.

Oscar: Up to you Tina. Just prepare proposals and get a few bodies that are likely to look into our projects. I think you should get right to it. We only have a few weeks left. And form what I see, theres a fierce competition amongst the grant hunters!

Tina: Ok. Ill have a few suggestions by the end of the day Oscar. Im going to get right to it.

I stood up and headed for the door.

Tina: Welcome back Oscar. Its good to have you back!

Oscar: Thanks Tina. I appreciate your help while Im gone. Oh can you get Janice for me please? Thanks. Ill talk to you later.

I told Janice that Oscar wanted to see her. God Oscar seemed tense. I wonder what else couldve happened while he was away.

Well Ill get right to it then. I looked around my office and shook my head. How am I going to do work in this office? Papers are everywhere! I need to clear this out first.

Hmmm how many papers are piled here? I picked them up and somehow they toppled something over causing that particular thing to shatter as it reached the floor. *****. I didnt know there was a mug there. I placed the piles of paper on my desk. Another thing to clear!!! I sighed. I picked up the few pieces of paper that fell on top of it and put them aside. This is no mug! This is a frame. It fell face down.

I turned the frame to face me and gasped. I havent seen this picture in years. I I dont even remember having it here. We both looked so happy. Both smiling as we look into each others eyes. I remembered the day it was taken. It was when we first moved into the house. We had friends coming around for a housewarming party. All the girls were there.

I remember Shane took this photo for us. We didnt know she was taking pictures of everyone. I guess she just found Bettes camera lying around the house and started to take pictures. It was late and everybody had already left apart from Shane, Alice, Dana, Marina and Kit. Bette and I were sitting by the pool just looking at each other enjoying each others company; both not believing we had taken a huge step of buying a house!

Tina: I cant believe we bought a house Bette! A house!

Bette: Nor can I. Just you and me baby, yours and mine ours!

Tina: Im so happy Bette.

Bette smiled at me. I could see she too was happy just being there.

Bette: I love you Tee. I love you more than you can imagine!

I leaned forward and kissed Bette. It was short and sweet. When the kiss ended, we kept our heads inches apart, still looking into each others eyes.

Tina: I love you.

Click! A light flashed in front of us. We looked up. Shane was holding the camera up at us. She winked.

Shane: Thats just beautiful guys.

Bette: Hey! Where did you get that?

Shane: It was on the kitchen counter. I thought Id take pictures of the party tonight and of course of the hostesses! Great party guys

Bette: Oh yeah I totally forgot about that. I wanted to take photos of the party tonight. But Im glad someone did. Thanks Shane.

Bette looked at me with a smile. I could just melt right then and there.

Shane: Hey, no problem. Were just going to help you guys clean up ok?

Tina: Oh no Shane. Well do it. Were just glad you guy could make it. It means the world to us. Right babe?

Bette: Yeah Shane. Definitely. Where are Alice and the girls?

Shane: Theyre inside I think cleaning up.

Bette: Oh no no no no no. Well do it.

Bette started to get up and I followed suit. Shane gestured us to stop.

Shane: No guys. Stay here. Well gladly do it. You guys enjoy the stars or the stares at each other (she winked) or whatever it was you guys were doing before I interrupted. Well be inside

With that Shane smiled and went inside. We looked at each other and laughed.

Tina: Well, Shane is right. We should savour the moment.

Bette held my hands and looked me in the eyes. I could see the sparkles then, and the desire as written perfectly clear.

Bette: Yeah we should.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I placed the frame on my desk. I sighed and sat on my chair. God what is happening to me? I get emotional just by looking at this picture. Proposal. Proposal. Proposal. Concentrate on revising the proposal. And search for other institutions. Yes. Yes thats it. Concentrate. Concentrate. Concentrate.

I did a little research on the institutions that have shown interest in the social justice programs. And have short listed it to a few including the Peabody Foundation. And Ive also rewritten the proposal. I wonder what Helena would think if I were to send this proposal to her. Helena. I still couldnt believe I dated her. The first few weeks I only needed Helena to get something out of Bette. I needed to see her suffer and hurt the way she did me. At first I felt I had power over Bette. But after it got serious, I just felt sorry for her and it was too late. She had gone to New York. And I just couldnt bring myself to see her or say whats on my mind and in my heart.

My relationship with Helena was, well I cant even say if it was a relationship. I mean she was never there when I needed her; she would have to go someplace or do something when I need her. Sure at first it was just something I did for getting back at Bette but longer into the relationship I somewhat enjoyed her company. I cant believe Im saying this but Helena reminded me a little bit about Bette; shes a go-getter type of woman. She has such power and determination, two traits of which led me to fall for Bette in the first place. I dont know why but I find them *****, almost a turn on. Theres nothing more that I like than someone with strong determination.

One and a few things Helena lacked were the compassion, the sweetness and the love that Bette has. Sure Helena has strong determination and all but when she wants something she takes it just because she wants to. Not because the strong connection and compassion she feels for it. And thats where she loses to Bette. Bette has that. The way she talks about work, about us or anything that interest her, you would see it in her eyes, the sparkles of excitement and intrigue. And you can feel it in her voice and the way she projects herself. Sigh how I miss that voice and her stares and her smile; everything about her.

God what am I doing? I looked at my watch. *****! Its already three? I looked at my desk and found the proposal I had written and the list I had prepared for Oscar to look at. I read the proposal and I wondered how it was possible that I managed to actually get all this done in a day; especially when I had been daydreaming about Bette!!!

I gave the proposal and the list to Oscar and sat in his office while he reads it. Once finished he looked at me and smiled.

Tina: So is everything ok?

Oscar: Its more than ok Tina. This is probably the best proposal Ive read from you. You must have put all your energy and emotions into it.

Oscar handed me the proposal. All my energy? Not so. But emotions? Maybe if you count the hours I spent thinking about Bette

Tina: So? What about the list I gave you?

Oscar: I suggest you try the Peabody Foundation first. But that would require you make an appointment through Miss Peabodys secretary.

Oscar looked at me concerned. He wants me to go over to Helenas and have a chat with her about the grant? How awkward that would be? I dont know if I can do that. What if wait.

Oscar: Well, if youre uncomfortable about that I can go

Helena is in New York! In New York!!! And Bette is in New York I see where this is goingI need to see Bette. I want to see her at her opening. Yeah I will go to New York.

Tina: No! (Realising I said that a little too fast) No I mean no I can go. I will be ok. Itll be great.

Oscar: You sure? Cos

Tina: Im positive! Actually Ill fly out tonight or tomorrow morning so I can get a head start if you dont mind.

Oscar: Well, thats brilliant. Thank you.

I stood up and smiled.

Oscar: Umm Tina. You dont have to do this if you dont want to

Tina: Dont worry Oscar. Id love to do this. Thank you.

I left Oscars office and sat at my desk. Im going to New York! I cant believe Im going to New York! I picked up the phone and called the airline to book myself a flight for tonight. They only had one available seat and told me how lucky I was since I was calling at last minute. Next I called The Peabody Foundation. I actually doubted that I would get an appointment on her packed schedule but luck was again on my side and I booked to see her next week. Such a happy day.

I looked at the pamphlet Bette sent us of her new show. Well, Im going to New York! Bette… Im going to New York, hope youre ready to see me!!! I looked at her picture one more phone call to make. Then Id head home to pack my things. New York here I come!