Yeah, I realize now how fucked up that was. But at the time, it was so not fucked up.

A little after six, Bette breezed in the front door with Chinese food and a smile, which were two of the things I was hoping for. She set the bag on the dining room table and breezed past me into the bedroom. “Al, just dig in,” she called from the bedroom.

Upon inspecting the confines of the bag, I acknowledged that Bette had only picked up soup and one combination plate, which I assumed was for me. I pulled it out of the bag. “You’re not eating?”

She re-appeared, sans jacket and shoes and pulling out her earrings. “Uh, no. Sunny and I are having dinner in… Culver City, or something, I think.” She rolled her eyes at the idea of having dinner in Culver City and then disappeared back into the bedroom.

“Oh, okay,” I said, hoping she’d remembered to tell them no onions in the fried rice. I don’t know why Chinese places think “vegetable fried rice” translates to “onion extravaganza fried rice”.

Then I realized that I hadn’t understood what Bette was talking about. “Who’s Sunny?” I called.

I could hear the shower running. “What?”

“Who’s Sunny?” I repeated, moving toward the door to her room. She poked her head out, holding a towel against her chest.

“I told you about Sunny.”

“No, you didn’t.” Duh.

“I must have.” She looked impatient now. “I’ve been dating her for three weeks.”

“Dating her?”

“Or, I guess this is just our fourth date, considering I don’t think that first one was a date.”

“I-uh-wh-” I sputtered eloquently.

“Alice, I have to shower. Go eat your dinner.” She closed the door. I heard the door to the bathroom shut, too, but I was still standing there, doing my awesome Alice-as-a-fish impersonation, gaping at the closed door.

She had to be kidding.

As calmly as I could, I returned to my fried rice and started meticulously picking out the onions. I could not believe Bette. Not only was she dating some girl named Sunny and totally hadn’t told me, but she had probably forgotten to ask for no onions just to be malicious.