And I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for Meddling Max, who came into the room and cried, “Alice! There you are! I’ve been looking all over!”

I guiltily dropped the pamphlet from my face and stood awkwardly in the middle of the main gallery where Bette Porter and Max were now both staring at me and my infinite weirdness.

“Yeah!” I said a little louder than I meant to. “Yeah, I’ve been right here the whole time.”

Oh, *****. Bette Porter was coming right toward me. I wished those evil children hadn’t caused the main gallery to clear out. I wished that Max had waited, like, thirty seconds before coming in. I wished that I had the power to melt into the floor and disappear (that last one would be really cool).

Luckily, Max stepped right in front of me, hand extended, and gushed, “Bette Porter. Max Bauer. I hope you remember me,” and Bette had no choice but to shake his hand.

“I think I do,” Bette said politely, although it sounded to me like a lie.

“The Brody Conference,” Max said proudly. “In Santa Barbara. Few years back.”

“Yes, Max Bauer,” Bette said vaguely. “How are you?”

“Well, I’m a little between projects right now, but I don’t think I could be better.” He put his arm around me, either to accentuate his point, or because he was just so great that he needed bodily contact. Either way, I found myself squished against Max with an excessively amused Bette Porter looking on.

She gestured to me. “And how are you?”

“I’m fine,” I said hastily, and then, for fear of an awkward silence, I added, “And you?”

“I’m all right. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?”

“Y-yes…”

“Al,” Max said, squeezing me tighter. “You didn’t tell me that you and Bette Porter were friends.”

“Oh, she didn’t?” wondered Bette, overlapping with my mumbled, “Well, we’re not friends, we’re not buddies, we’re not… yeah.”

At the commencing silence and Max’s bewildered expression, I felt I needed to say, “We’re not… we don’t really see each other much, so…”

“Actually, Alice,” began Bette as if this were a really great story, “and I are ex-roommates, if you can believe that.”