When she went back to the living room, she saw a missed call signal on her handphone. It was Shane’s. She called back. “Carmen?”

“Yeah?”

“I finished my recording and I wanted to go somewhere. Could you go with me? It’ll just be a short while and I’ll send you home,”

“Okay…”

Carmen got into Shane’s car and she realised they were arriving at the same beach they had gone to the other day. She cast a curious look at Shane, whose face betrayed no emotions. “I just need to do this and maybe being the person who gave this back to me twice, you should be the one to witness it,” She took the bracelet out of the pocket and she walked close to the shoreline. The waves came in and Shane just stood there, unmoving. Shane closed her fingers around the bracelet until it was in her fist. She heard a deep intake of breath from Shane and she saw her raise her arm and toss the bracelet into the waves.

“Shane what’re you doing?”

“Carmen I never told you…but that bracelet was from someone I used to love. She was everything I thought I wanted. Eventually she left me. She made her choice and I made mine….I carried this grudge with me ever since, this anger deep within me and now maybe it’s time to let go,” Shane said in an even voice.

“Is that the story behind ‘If Only’?” Shane gazed at her and smiled.

“Not many people know this, but I guess now you do,” Carmen smoothed her sandals over the grainy sand.

“Shane…when I heard that song, I thought of Gail. She was my previous love until she chose to get married to a man because that was what society expected her to do,” Carmen tucked her windswept hair behind her ears and she felt an involuntary shiver.

“Then I guess she doesn’t know what she’s giving up,” Shane took off her jacket and placed it on Carmen’s shoulders. She pulled the lapels of the jacket around Carmen and she was barely inches away from Carmen’s mouth.

“Tell me no Carmen,” Shane said in a low, bitter voice. “Tell me to leave you alone,” This wasn’t Shane McCutcheon, the confident singer or the cool, elegant seducer. This was simply a person in need. And she was hers, for however brief a time it lasted. For someone who had always prided herself on her level-headedness, it was an insane thing to do. But ever since meeting Shane McCutcheon in Hyde, she had been doing insane things, things she never imagined she would do. And in this instant, she wanted nothing more than to kiss Shane. To draw her into her arms and hold her close. Feel the pulsing beat of her heart beneath hers.

“Shane, kiss me,” She could hear her own voice quivering. Shane was silent for a moment, ominously so. Then she closed in on her, one hand behind her neck, her long fingers holding her head still. She lowered her lips to hers, her breath warming hers. It was a disturbing sensation. It was as though Shane was testing the waters and Carmen wanted more. She put her arms around her waist, pulling her closer. She could feel her warmth through the thin flannel shirt and she yearned for more. She pressed herself against Shane and she felt the dark burning inside her that she knew only Shane could assauge. She wanted her mouth on her, her heart and her soul. Shane made a low sound in her throat and she kissed the beating pulse at the base of Carmen’s throat. Carmen knew she was lost. Lost in the kisses that had her damp and trembling in her arms. Then Shane started to withdraw, a mere fraction of an inch and her mouth followed, clinging to hers.

There was a hiss from Shane as she turned her head away, leaving Carmen feeling strangely bereft. She looked at Shane, her eyes lost and glazed. “We’re both running away aren’t we?” Shane looked at her from her hooded eyes and her mouth was glistening in the moonlight. “Carmen, if it’s sex you want I’ll happily oblige but you want far more than sex from me. I don’t want to lie to you. I’m not sure whether I have anything left to give and in the end you will hate me for it,” Her thumb rubbed tenderly against the edge of her jaw.

“And Carmen, I don’t want you to hate me even if it means that I have to keep running away from this,”