Tina was sitting in her office putting the finishing touches on a development package she had put together for her boss. It was talking her longer than she expected because her mind keeps wandering back to two days before when she saw Bette and they talked. Bette had promised she would call when she could get them in to see Dan Foxworthy but she hadn’t heard from her yet. While she was glad that she had seen Bette and they had talked, she was dreading the trip to Dan Foxworthys office. She knew that it was going to be very painful for her and this appointment will more than likely determine the course of her future. She has asked herself a thousand times, if she can really go back to Bette. She doesnt know if she can ever forgive the infidelity. She knows she will never forget it. She realizes that in all the time, since she left Bette, she hasnt allowed her self to contemplate why and how it could have happened because she wasnt prepared to hear or know why. Now that she is allowing these thoughts in, she cant stop thinking about how vocal Bette always was about monogamy and what high moral standards she has always had. She then thinks to her self, what if it was all a lie and Bette had been a total fraud for the seven years they have been together. If that was true, then she could have cheated on her before. Had her life been a joke for seven years?. She just cant accept that.
She turns her focus back on her work and is getting ready to take the completed package to her boss when her cell phone rings.

Tina (seeing Bettes number on the caller ID): Hi Bette.

Bette: Hi. Are you busy?

Tina: I was just finishing up a development package for my boss.

Bette: Are you glad to be back at work?

Tina: Yes I am. I didnt realize how much I missed it when(doesnt finish her sentence because she doesnt want to bring up why she quit working)

Bette (picking up on Tinas incomplete sentence): You quit so that we could try and have a baby.

Tina (sadly): Yeah.

Bette: It still hurts doesnt it? I mean, losing the baby.

Tina: I really dont want to talk about this right now.

Bette: Okay. I called to let you know that I have set up an appointment with Dan Foxworthy for tomorrow afternoon at 5:00 p.m. Do you think you can make it at that time?

Tina (checking her calendar on her desk): I should be able to clear out of here around 4:00 p.m. and that should give me enough time to make it there by 5:00 p.m.

Bette: Good. I will come and pick you up if you want.

Tina: No. I think it will be better if we meet there.

Bette (softly): T thanks for doing this. I know you could have given up completely on us and I wouldnt have blamed you.

Tina: Dont thank me yet because I havent made any decisions except to see Dan Foxworthy with you.

Bette: I will take what I can get. So I will see you tomorrow at 5:00 p.m.?

Tina: I will be there.

Bette: Okay. I love you. Bye.

Tina: Bye (after she hangs up the phone) I love you too.

Tina finishes up her business day and heads home to Alices apartment. She thinks to herself that she is really going to have to make some decisions soon. She still owes her company an answer on the job in New York. She had asked to take an extra week to make her decision and they had agreed but had told her they couldnt wait any longer than that. If she stayed in LA and wasnt with Bette she would have to find someplace to live. She felt like she has worn out her welcome by staying at Alices as long as she had. She has been a great friend but they each need their own space. She decides that she will wait until after tomorrows session with Dan Foxworthy before she will buckle down and make some of these decisions. She had just gone in to change clothes when she hears a knock on the door. She opens the door and sees Kit standing there.

Tina: Kit, what are you doing here? Has something happened to Bette?

Kit: Nothing has happened to Bette. I just wanted to come and see you. Ive wanted to see you for a while but thought it was better if I stayed away.

Tina: Why?

Kit: Because I thought seeing me would upset you. Besides I figured you werent really in any mood for visitors.

Tina: So what brings you here today?

Kit: I know that you and Bette are meeting with Dan Foxworthy tomorrow. I know how important that could be for the two of you.

Tina: Yeah. It could determine the course of my life from here on out.

Kit: I wanted you to know that no matter what happens I love you.

Tina: I love you too.

Kit: I promised myself I wouldnt butt into this, but I just have to say this. I know that Bette loves you even if she fucked everything up and I know you love her too. I am not making excuses for her but you should know she has berated her self over what has happened. She has worked hard on finding out what when wrong so she can try to forgive her self so that she can try and find someway for you to forgive her.

Tina: I dont know if I can do that.

Kit: I just hope and pray that no matter how hard tomorrow is that you can remember that you truly love each other. I’ve never told you this, but I have always felt like God made you two to find each other. Will you at least try to remember that?

Tina: I will try but I cant promise anything.

Kit (hugs Tina): Thats all I ask.

Kit left and Tina went in to change clothes. She thought about fixing her something to eat and trying to go to bed early but she knows she wont be able to sleep. She decides that she will go for a long run so that she will be worn out enough that her thoughts wont keep her awake all night. After her run she comes home, takes a shower, gets ready for bed and surprisingly falls asleep relatively early. She heads in to work early so she can make sure she can leave by 4:00 p.m. When 4:00 p.m. arrives she is surprised because the day has flown by. She leaves and heads over to Dan Foxworthys office where she is shocked to actually see Bette waiting for her. Every appointment they had with him before she had been the one waiting for Bette. Bette looked up and saw Tina walk in and was unsure what to do so she got up and walked over to Tina.

Bette: Hey.

Tina: Hi.

Bette: Its good to see you (she reaches out and gently touchs Tinas face). I am glad you are here. I know that today is really going to be hard on both of us but we have to do this if we want to be together.

Tina: I am here Bette. I dont know if we can be together or if I even want us to be together anymore. I cant be with someone that I dont trust completely.

Bette (hurt at Tinas word but accepting of them): I know that. That is part of why we are here is to figure out if we can find some way for me to earn your trust again and for you to figure out if you can believe in our love the way that I do.

Dan Foxworthys receptionist came up to them and told them that he was ready to see them. They walked into his office slowly. They both knew that this might be one of the toughest hours they might ever experience in their lives. Dan Foxworthy told them that he wanted to start their session off by each of them talking about the things that had brought them together, the good things that happened between them, the little things that made them love one another and why they were still together after 7 years. Both Bette and Tina were surprised at him asking them to start the session out that way. Bette asked him why. He told them that later in the session they were going to talk about unpleasant things that had happened in their relationship and he wanted them to have good memories in there too. He said he hoped that maybe when they left there they could recall some of the good and not only the bad. With that, he asked Bette to start and told Tina to jump in when she feels comfortable. Bette started out by talking about how they met and fell in love. Tina talked about Bette being the first and only woman she had ever been with. They both more or less took a walk down memory lane recalling when they had first made love, when they decided to move in together and when they had made a commitment together and started wearing their rings. Most of their time together had given them fun, fond and loving memories to each of them up until about the last year. Dan Foxworthy asked them what changes happened in the last year that caused them to drift apart and for them to reach the point they are at now. They both sat there for a minute or so neither of them wanting to talk. Bette not wanting to talk because she knows this is going to hurt Tina and Tina doesnt talk because she fears what is coming. Bette knows she has to do this no matter what so she looks at Dan Foxworthy with a look in her eyes that says help me. He says you can do this Bette and she slowly begins talking.
After you left me, Kit made me realize that the only way we could ever have a chance to be together again was for me to do three things. Those three things were to figure our why and where everything went wrong, to learn how to forgive myself for what I have done to us and last but not least to try and find some way to get you to forgive me. I realized I could not do that on my own. So as you know, I have been coming here regularly since you left me. I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders.
She tells Tina about the long list of things that she and Dan Foxworthy have talked about like Tina quitting her job, trying to find a suitable sperm donor that they both could be happy with, worrying about Tina not being happy, worrying about Tina becoming so dependent on her, worrying about whether she was going to get fired and then once her job being secure the gallery being harassed by Fae Buckley and her supporters, worrying about becoming a parent, Yolanda questioning her about her racial identity, feeling like she had to be strong for Tina when they lost the baby, dealing or rather not dealing with the loss of the baby. She talked about being hurt by Tina finding out she was pregnant with Alice instead of her and Tina buying the birthing tank without her. She told her that she hated being in group therapy. Bette said she knows now that there was a lot of self imposed pressure on her because she felt she had to have tight control all of it including her emotions. Knowing the next part was the hardest, Bette took a deep breathe and jumped right in. She told Tina that during the pregnancy she had started to lose it. She was questioning as to whether she was panicking over the baby or possibly falling out of love. Tina had sat quietly listening through most of what Bette had said and with Bettes last words tears began to run down her face. Bette closed her eyes for a few seconds not wanting to see Tinas tears but she reopened them and went on. I thought I had to be in control of everyone and everything. I met Candace the night that I went to hear Kit sing. I invited her to come by the gallery because she said she drove by there everyday to a job she was doing. As you know, I asked her to bid on the renovations that the gallery needed for the Provocations exhibits. She came by to bid on the job the night you were in Palm Springs with Alice, Dana, Shane and Jenny. I was hiding my feelings about everything from losing the baby, to dealing with Fae Buckley, feeling the pressure of getting the gallery ready for the opening, feeling lost and out of control and feeling lonely because you needed some time to heal from the losing the baby and you needed to have some fun. She kissed me that night and I stopped it and told her she better go. I had no intentions of letting anything happen between us even though I was attracted to her. The more I was around her the more that attraction grew. It just seemed as if you and I were drifting apart and I felt like the pressure on me to try and control everything was getting worse. Bette looked over at Tina and said Im sorry but I have to go on. You have to hear it all. The affair with Candace started the day when we wound up in the same jail cell. Bette looks at Tina again and stares in to her eyes. I dont want to go in to details because that will only hurt you even more. At the time the affair was happening I hated myself for what I was doing and didnt understand why I was doing what I was doing. I tried to tell you the night of Provocations opening, when I had the break down in the shower, but I couldnt look in your eyes and tell you. You have to know that the time I spent with Candace had nothing to do with love. I honestly feel I used Candace. It was like I thought sexual oblivion with her could take away all my pressures and worries but it only added to them because I hated myself for what I was doing. I went against everything I believe in because I couldnt deal with all the pressure. Somewhere along the line we quit communicating and I just kept things inside. Therapy has made me face all of these things. I am not saying that I have dealt with everything, but I am a work in progress. I want to ask you to try and forgive me. I want us to be together because I love you. I truly believe that you are my soul-mate. We have invested 7 years in this relationship and I dont want it to end. Bette finished talking and Tina didnt even know where to start so she told Bette the truth. As she started talking she was angry and she was crying. I am hurt. I am angry with you. I am angry at myself. I knew there was something wrong and I tried to talk to you but you just shut down. What am I supposed to do? She sat there for a few minutes saying nothing but crying. Bette wanted to hold her but she kept her distance. Dan Foxworthy told Tina that what she is feeling is normal and she should take her time and talk to Bette if she is ready. He told her if she is not ready, then maybe they should just end the session there and make another appointment for another day. Tina calmed down and her crying subsided. She said she wanted to try and deal with this today because she doesnt think time is going to make this any easier. She turned to Bette and told her that she has questions. She asks her if she will answer them honestly even if she knows the answers will cause her pain. Bette says she will answer them as honestly as she can. Tinas first question was about Bettes love for her. She asks her how she can say she loves her now when she was asking herself before if she was falling out of love. Bette tells her she was just panicking. She explained that it was right after Yolanda had attacked her in group therapy and it had made her question her life but she never had stopped loving her. Tinas next question had to do with their ***** life. Was I not enough for you? I know that our ***** life hadnt been great for a while but I thought we reconnected. Is that why you turned to Candace? Bette told her that what happened with Candace had nothing to do with their ***** life. She told her that Candace could have been anybody. The meaningless ***** was away for her to avoid the world. She told her that she loved making love with her and hoped that they would spend many wonderful times making love to each other the rest of their lives. Tina asked, why didnt you turn to me for the *****? Bette said because ***** with you could never be meaningless. Tina asked her if she was ever with Candace at their house. Bette replied with an emphatic no. Tina then started to talk about the things that Bette had said had she felt pressure about. She told Bette that she had realized in the time that they had been apart that she had changed after she quit her job. She admitted that she had been dependent on Bette for many things and hadnt realized that she had changed so much. She agreed that they both had failed to communicate with each other on a deep level for quite a while. She talked about the other things Bettes had listed. She told Bette what she thought and whether or not she understood why Bette had felt that way. She told Bette that she had three last questions.
First she asked Bette why she felt like she should forgive her. Then she asked, if she could forgive her, how she could ever trust her again. The last thing she asked was how she could know that she would never do it again. Bette was glad that Tina had talked through everything and she realized that answering these last questions could determine whether or not Tina would even consider forgiving her. Bette looked Tina directly in the eyes and told her that she probably has no right to ask her for forgiveness but she has to because she knows that she is the love of her life. She tells her that she feels that they both could try moving on but that there will always be something missing for each of them. She tells Tina that Tina is the only person who knows who she really is. She tells her that Dan Foxworthy has helped her to see that she cant control everything in her life. She tells her she knows that she will still try but she knows now that she cant do it. She tells her she knows that they have to learn to communicate again. She says that she will have to earn Tinas trust again day by day. She says it wont be easy but she believes they can do it if they really want to be together. She tells Tina that she would never do it again because this time may have already cost her the love of her life and because sometimes it takes something huge to make you realize what you had right in front of you. Tina had listened to all of Bettes words and what Bette had said touched her. She still wasnt ready to completely forgive Bette, because the pain is still there, but she does realize that she has to at least try. Dan Foxworthy told them that they had made tremendous progress today and asked if they wanted to set up another session. Bette said nothing but looked at Tina as if to say It is up to you. Tina looked at Bette and then turned to Dan Foxworthy and said yes. Bette didnt realize she had been holding her breathe until she heard Tina say the word yes. They walked out of Dan Foxworthys office together. Bette wanted to hug Tina and ask her to come home but she wasnt sure where Tinas head was.

Bette: Are you okay?

Tina: Im emotionally drained but I am glad we talked about what happened.

Bette: I am too. So where do we go from here?

Tina: Honestly I dont know.

Bette: I know it is probably too soon but would you consider moving back in the house?

Tina: Your right it is too soon for that.

Bette: How about if we spend some time together before our next appointment to see Dan Foxworthy? We could go out on a date and see how things go.

Tina (thinking about it for a minute): Okay. I think I can handle that as long as it is something simple.

Bette: Great! How about day after tomorrow I pick you up at 7:00 p.m. and we can go out to dinner someplace quiet?

Tina: Okay. I better get going because Alice is expecting me

Bette (a little jealous of Alice and not wanting to let Tina go yet): T you know I love you and want you to come home but I wont push. I want to hold you so bad right now, but I dont know if youd welcome my touch or not.

Tina (looks into Bettes eyes): In my heart I know you love me or we wouldnt be standing here but it is going to take some time for my head to catch up.

Tina opened her arms to Bette and Bette walked into them and she in turn put her arms around Tina. They held each other for a long time before they reluctantly broke apart and each went a different direction towards their car. They both had taken a huge step today in facing the truth that their relationship wasnt perfect but it was something worth trying to fight for. Neither of them were a 100 percent sure that they would make it but they were willing to try.