With Brian Kinney so far under her skin, Alice spent most of the night pacing around her apartment, trying to formulate a plan that would spell demise for those Boston girlie men. She was so determined to make an ***** out of the man that made her feel like an *****, that she was pumped up, full of adrenaline and raring to go. While the rest of the gang was sleeping peacefully, getting rested for the days events, Alice was tossing and turning in bed. She finally gave up around 4:30am, and decided that the best plan of action was for the gang and herself to be up early, and free of those sleepy time cobwebs that could hinder their performance.

Dressing quickly, Alice headed over to the planet to grab coffee and bagels, and then headed toward Bette and Tinas house, calling everyone else as she drove. She pulled up at around 5:30 am and knocked on the door. A very unhappy looking Bette Porter answered the door, with a groggy Tina sitting quietly on the couch. Handing Bette a cup of coffee, Alice began to rant and rave about how today was the day that they would represent the lesbians of LA and the lesbians of the world, leading women everywhere to victory. One by one, the rest of the gang appeared at the house, each one of them quite unhappy with the bubbly and energetic blonde that was moving around the middle of the room, throwing jabs into the air as she kept on trying to pump up her team. All four of the women looked at Alice, rolled their eyes and shook their heads, it was bad enough that they had all been woken up so damn early in the morning, but it was down right irritating that Alice had so much damn energy this early in the morning.

Al, can you sit down already. I mean come on, why dont you let the rest of us go back to sleep for a bitits not even 6 yet and we dont have to be there until 8:30.
Yeah, come on Al, just a half hour more okay?
No way, come on guysmaybe we should all go for a run. Yah know get the blood pumpingadrenaline flowing.
Okay Alenough. You wanna go running, then by all means gothe rest of us are going back to bed for a while. Got it?!
Spoil sportokay finebut you all better be up in 30 minutesor I, Alice Pieszecki will be coming after YOU.

The gang started getting comfortable for a nap, as Alice headed out toward the pool to get some fresh air. Trying not to lose the awesome power she was feeling, she started doing some tai chi (she did an article on it), trying to channel her energy, but looking more like a drunken monkey instead. But drunken monkey or not, she kept at it, and the gang was grateful that their ADD friend seemed to be occupied for the moment, and they could get some shuteye.

Right on cue, Alice was back in the house 30 minutes later, banging together a pot and a pan, shouting to wake up the slumbering women. Grumpily, they each got up, with Shane and Bette looking like they were about ready to kill the bouncy blonde with the very pot that she was banging on.

Rise and shine ladies! Time to wake up and get ready to kick some *****!!
For gods sake Alshut up!
Quit banging already!
Good lord!
UUUUGGGGGGHHHHH. Im gonna kill you.
What? Who? Huh?

Bette nodded at Shane and both women leapt up and lunged for Alice.

OH SHIIIIITTTTTTTT!

The three women were now running around the house, causing such a racket that Dana and Tina were beginning to worry that someone was going to call the police. Not wanting to deal with such a rowdy bunch in the morning, Tina stood up, walked in front of the running women, stopped and turned to look at them, hands firmly planted on her waist.

Alright kids, thats ENOUGH! Go sit down on the couch!

She looked so motherly, and even more so when she pointed over to the couch, scolding her three children that they replied,

Yes, mom.

With all the events that had already occurred that morning, Tina and her sidekick for the day, Dana, helped to get things settled, and saw to it that everyone was fed and ready to go. Everyone seemed a bit more spirited than when they had first arrived, and each woman was looking forward to the competition and festivities that would fill their day.
It was nearing 7:30 and everyone was ready except for Alice, she was no where to be seen and the ladies were about ready to go since, Bette, being Bette wanted to make sure that they got good parking.

Al! Hey Al, were ready to go! Come on already!
Coming!

Alice came bounding down the hallway, hoopin and hollerin as she made her entrance into the living room. As she came into view, her friends stopped and stared. There stood Alice, decked out in fatigues, with kneepads and elbow pads pulled on over the camouflage uni that she wore, complete with black face paint, hair slicked back and a rainbow mouth guard hanging from her lips. She didnt look like she was ready for a friendly competition she looked like she was ready for war!

Here I come Brian Kinney! Its on!

Rolling there eyes and trying their hardest not to burst into fits of laughter, the girls snickered as the headed out toward the van that Alice had rented, piled in and headed off toward the main event. It was a short drive to the Los Angeles Coliseum, and once there they were amazed at the number of people lined up to get in to watch the activities for the day. Driving past the droves of men and women, the gang quickly found parking and headed in toward the check in area, which for participants was just in side of the main tunnel of the stadium. Alice was out of the van and started bounding toward the table and board to find out what was going on. She was so excited that she latched on to Danas arm, tugging her along, and then Dana grabbed Shane, who grabbed Tina who consequently grabbed Bette. Bette was barely out of the van, and had to strain to hit the lock button on the alarm, as she was being tugged along in what seemed like a retarded Care Bear sing along line, led by Psycho Bear.

Alice tugged and pulled the women, hurrying them into the tunnel, laughing and gabbing all the way, when all of a sudden, once inside the stadium she stopped. Her jaw dropping at the sight of the actual size of the stadium, the once pumped up and ready for war woman, was now bit intimidated. Her four friends slammed into her back when she stopped, causing all of them to fall and tumble in to a heap of bodies right in front of the Pittsburg girlie men.

Whats a matter Pieszecki? You to scared to actually make it to the check in table? Chicken.
***** no! Just you wait! Youre going down?
Oh really now Rambettewell just have to see how you and your lovely companions hold up under pressure. And remember when they ask, its KinneyK-I-N-N-E-Y.
Well well just have to see now wont we Brianmay the best group of women win.

The gang from Boston walked past with a snicker, causing Alice to get up with a huff, ready to ***** slap him back to the East coast. At the last instant, Bette reached out and grabbed Alices ankle causing her to tip and fall back on her face.

No Al. Not now!
Why not?
Because
Oh all right. Ill behave for now just because were these are your friends friends. But if we have to meet up with them on the fieldall bets are off.
Good. Now come on lets get going and take a look at what we need to do.

The gang got up off the ground, dusting themselves, before heading toward the check in table. They patiently stood in line, waiting for there turn to check.

Yes, Hi, were here to check in for the battle of the sexes competition.
Team name?
FORTY LICKS
Forty Licks, okay here you are. Everyone on your team here?
Yes.
Okay heres the format for the event. The event has been separated into age groups, with four teams per group. You will not actually be challenging the three other teams, instead the battle of the sexes has been further broken down in to north versus south, and east versus west. You will be representing the west againstoh where is your competitor.ah yes here it is. You will be challenging WE BLOW.
We Blow? Must be some flaming ***** east coast team huh?
Well they just checked in a few minutes ago, you could go over to that board and find out more on the rules of the competition and your competitor.
Thanks.
And good luck, youll do us lesbians proud.

Alice grabbed the rest of the girls and ushered them toward the board.

FORTY LICKS? You named us FORTY LICKS?
Yeah, I know Bette, it was a bit of an understatement, but heyits all I could think of.
Yeah, Al, but Forty Licks?
Well.forty sounded better than 99.

Upon reaching the board, the women quickly scanned the rules that were posted on the board. They read more about the age bracket groupings and the format of the competition.

Lets see, where are we? Oh here26-35 year age group.
Wow we barely made the cutPorter JUST made the age.
Shut up Al.
Yah damn oldie.
***** you Alice!
Well its true GRANDMAwe almost didnt qualify for this groupwe came THIS CLOSE to being in the 36 to 45 bracket and we would have challenged.Ball Lickers!
Okay, okay.enough about thatlets find out more on the team we are challenging.

Just then Brian Kinney and the rest of the Boston group strolled past. They were engrossed in conversation, but the girls did over hear them say that they would be challenging Forty Licks.

Oh ***** no! Please dont tell me were challenging them?!

Alice quickly scanned the board to find the name WE BLOW, and sure enough, there beside the team name it said, Team Captain: BRIAN KINNEY.

*****!
What is it Al?
We have to challenge them

She pointed over to their new East Coast friends, a look of determination spreading across her face. She was determined to take them down all rightand if she couldnt get all of themBrian Kinney for sure.

Hey Kinney! Hold on to your jock strap, cause FORTY LICKS is taking you down!

With that last statement, Alice huddle her team together, more determined than ever to win the competition. The rest of the gang just rolled their eyes, at their crazy friend, unsure of what was in store for thembut they had a feeling that what ever happened today, it was going to utter chaos, mayhem, and hilarity for sure.