FriendsMaybe

Chapter Five


Bette stood outside on what used to be their porch, their life, but most of all their love.

Just breathe and for the first time instead of using her own key, she knocked at her so familiar door.

Expecting Tina, Dana opened the door.

Bette,

Dana, what are you doing here?

Um just come in ok, we are all here.

Inside she met up with Shane on the couch and Alice and Tina were in the kitchen. She was going to ask Tina what was going on, then she remembered that Tina wasnt ready to be alone with her.

Bette, I asked them to be here.

I know, I uh brought dessert anyway.

Thank you, you guys go ahead and then Ill set it all out.

Alice walked out,

Can I help you?

You dont have to

But I want to,

Ok, but it wasnt ok for Bette, being so close and not being able to take it all away was just tearing her heart apart.
Throughout dinner there was small talk, and everyones nerves were just ahead of themselves.
Finally with dinner done and the table cleared, what was left was not going to be easy to swallow.

T, I dont know what to say but before she could go on.

Sorry you guys, but we dont think we should be here.

I want you guys here ok, but didnt know if it was all right for Bette. Knowing that was her cue,

Its ok, I have nothing to hide, Tina wants you here so you should stay, so they retreated to the back of the room, still there, but not in the way. Tina and Bette remained at opposite ends of the table.

T, before you ask me why, I dont have any answer. Not a good enough one just yet.
I know that I was lost in my work, on us trying to start a family, on how daddy reacted, but most of all, I was lost in me.

Why couldnt you tell me? Why was it so hard.

Because I couldnt fail you, I couldnt break down and tell you I was scared, because I didnt know how. All these years I knew how to take care of you and us; it was what I knew I could do. Everything weighing in on me, and you had already gone through so much. I couldnt do anything about everything and I she couldnt go on because Tina was already crying. So she stood up walked over to Tina and knelt in front of her.

T, please baby, dont cry. You know I could never take you crying.

Then why did you make me cry? Why did you have to break in her arms instead of mine?

I didnt in her arms, she just took it all away for a second.

Even me, and as much as Bette didnt what to say it, she had to for herself. But she couldnt say it to her eyes,

Yes,

Did you not want to be with me anymore?

Tina, it was never about that, I did want to be with you and I do want to be with you. I just needed some sort of release.

From what,

From me, from everything within me. Baby I know that wasnt the way to let go and Im sorry. Lord knows I would never have wished any pain upon you, but I put that very pain in your heart. Not seeing you in the morning and not being able to close my eyes before seeing you fall asleep is something I cannot get used to. Leaving you alone to sort all of this out scares me, because I know that you will sort everything out, and I will be the only thing not to fit.

Bette, I have sorted most of it out, but I love you and nothing could ever change that. My love for you outweighs the pain you have caused me. But as much as I want us back I cant get that because I dont trust you enough just yet. Most of my tears are cried out and I have let go of my anger, and the girls have been great and work is filling up my time again… Im doing ok without you right now. Bette couldnt take that last part and rested her head in Tinas lap.

Bette I know, but Im not ready to let you back in again. Im scared too. But I do want you in my life, it will be weird, but I want to be able to see you and not be uncomfortable anymore ok. Bette looked up with her tear that maybe she had no right to cry.

What if you meet someone else?

Bette I dont have time for that right now.

I love you.

And I love you, but my friendship is all I am offering. Its all I can.

Are you sure about this?

Yes.

Then Ill take it and Ill take you and as the moment was just right, Bettes phone went off. Um I have to take this, and walked to the restroom and closed the door.

When she came back she gave a Alice a quick look to tell her what was up.

Tina, girls, lord knows I hate to leave. But I have to go. Ill explain when I can.

Are you ok?

Yeah, I appreciate dinner, I love you ok, with a quick kiss on Tinas lips, she was out the door.

Tina, I think that went well right.

Yeah a little too well I think.

Al,

Im just saying Bette Porter not fighting, not in control, I dont know, maybe its the end of the world as we know it. I dont know but what ever it is, Im going to find out, they all were laughing then Tina suddenly realized maybe

You guys, you dont think she went back

T, dont even think it. She told her it was over the next day, if that helps.” Alice knew that somebody else wanted Bette and it wasn’t the carpenter. “She loves you and I know I joke about her changing, but shes doing it for you.

What do you mean?

I know she wont say it, but shes taking her life apart and putting new pieces in it so she could be that person she once was. Not seeing her get mad as easily as she used to is something I still cannot get used to. She counts to ten, seriously you guys, to ten.

Bette had rushed because Kit had told her that Mrs. Peabody had called again. She had been wanting her to come to New York to work for her, she said she could even find something for Tina too. Bette thanked her and then told her that they were going through some things and that now wasnt the right time.

She wanted you in New York again?

Yeah, but now is not the time.

So there could be a time when it will be?

Maybe,

What about Tina?

We had dinner tonight and we are okay. She told me all she could offer was friendship.

What did you say?

What could I say? I love her and Im willing to wait this out. I need her in my life, even even if we are just friends. Besides maybe the time will do me good. I can only fix us if I fix me first. Kit could only smile.

What?

I think youre growing up, either that or ***** just froze over.



As if Bette needed more pressure, it was announced that she would be the cover feature in the upcoming issue of W & E magazine.
James, are you serious.

Yes maam, they want to interview you and do the picture thing. What do you think?

Im very flattered, but now is not the best time you know. She sat back in her chair. She had let James in on some of the wrong that had gone on and he seemed to understand.

Well next week is what they are looking for, but I can call and see if there is another time that is acceptable?

No next week will be fine. Thanks James.

Bette Porter.

Hey Bette, its me. Look I know you might be busy in all I just…

She couldnt finish.

Hey Dane, its ok. Whats up?

Its just no matter how much you want to, you cant keep avoiding us you know. Besides I thought you guys were friends in all.

Dana, I know Im sorry, there was a silence and that was unusual for her.

Dane, really what is it?

Alice kind of told me about the New York thing. Im just scared that one day youre just gonna up an leave us. Bette smiled and loved her friend very much for caring. Alice was sure confiding in Dana a lot lately she thought.

Dana, she knows that I cant right now, I have so much on the line, that leaving would just mean that I have lost.

Still, B, Im worried, you dont look the same, not as bad as you did in the beginning, but still, I want the old you back. I miss her.

Dane, I have some stuff left here to do, but well get together some time, I promise.