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Chandelier – 30
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Tina glanced at her. "You know, Jenny told me once about an argument she and Max had, about the suburban life."
"Talks with Jenny," Bette said dryly. "Should’ve been fun."
"Seems that Max wanted to be the oblivious guy with the wife and kids and the SUV." Tina took a deep breath. "As she puts it, someone who ‘just lets all the rotten shit in the world go by, trying not to let it touch him’."
Bette furrowed her brow, frowning. "I don’t follow."
"That was what I was looking for." Tina admitted. "That’s what I wanted to be. Someone who can just sit by and let things pass."
"But you’re not that person."
"Aren’t I?" Tina asked quietly. "I don’t know, Bette. A part of me just wants to stick to the rules I know, the things I grew up wanting."
"But you’re here." Bette pointed out.
"Because I look at you, and Angelica, and I’ve never wanted anything more in my life." Tina said softly. She glanced at Angelica, who continued walking on unsteady legs, but with her brave face on. "That’s my daughter, Bette. Just over a year ago when I felt I’d lost you, she was my beacon. The only thing I had worth holding on to. And you’re her mother. You’re the reason I have her. What I thought I’d wanted, whatever it is I could have with other people, whether it’s the normalcy I could have with men or the life of privilege I could have had if I’d stayed with Helena, those are small things."
"You’re still not telling me why you went for men."
"I was straight for a long time, Bette. My whole life, that’s what I knew, that’s what I understood." Tina gave Angelica a smile as Angelica turned to make sure her parents were where she’d left them. "I don’t want to pin all the blame on hormones, but I just wanted… I wanted something simple. I wanted sex, without the love, the commitment, the passion and desire that comes with loving you."
"I could’ve given you that."
"Consider my sentence carefully."
Bette looked at her, then nodded. "I get it."
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wow, their relationship is like a rollercoater, and sometimes i get really scared and want to scream…at the risk of repeating myself and sounding like an idiot i want to say again how much i love your dialogs…you are the master of the dialogs, they make me think and feel…brilliant
awesome…i love this
excellent! you make me bite my nails! this is so great and definitly i love Angelica! nothing that they two can said can justify her affair but this talk has a lot of sense! thanks for the post!
I guess there is something about a beach that brings about wonderful conversations. As always, thanks for the great chapter!
What timing! She’s a natural! That Angelica’s going out there a toddler, but she’s coming back a star.
Angelica, this kid makes me :-) and your story how you interpret Tina and Bette just makes me :-) :-0) = Thank you.
Don’t offten comment but this story is so good…I like how little by little they are talking about the downfall of their relationship and trying to get past the hurt so they can move on and be happy together. Post real soon
Thank you that was so real .
Tiff…..your writing is just great.
So well written….
I felt like I was right there watching this scene unfold. I felt the heat of the disagreement and yet the love that they have for one another. Most couples when this far apart never walk back to each other. Both women are trying to walk with each other and not away from each other. I hope that Bette and Tina take to heart what both said and the fact that Bette does not want to go. I look forward to this story every minute of the day.
Thank goodness for Angelica – now maybe Bette will have to stick around and get things talked through! Love your story TD.
great, great, love the way this is developing, looking forward to next instalment
OK so I was re-reading this story – yes, your fanfics are so beautifully written it definitely takes more than once to savour it all – and when I finished this chapter I realized what a pivotal chapter this was. It could be argued that certain others preceding this one played a role in Bette and Tina’s eventual reunion but this one I think is of paramount importance. Aside from the fact that it revealed the root of many issues, I like that for every difficult question and accusation Bette threw at her, Tina came back with logical (and maybe complicated) explanation as well as some *ouch* good calls “You’re the one who went to the senator’s room.” and “And you sleeping with someone else and in the same breath tell me you still love me is?” ZING! Lots of people were hating on Tina for what happened in S3 but this chapter here just, well it doesn’t excuse her behaviour, but for me it sheds so much light on the reasoning behind her actions that you just want Bette to get it so they can really be together again. And of course, Bette was prevented from running away from a difficult situation. Thank you Angelica!
wow indeed a rollercoaster!!
Tiff…We are truly privileged to read your wonderful stories. Your dialogue is so realistic and poignant. You are a rare talent.
I love this sentence…very insightful. “There’s forgiveness, there’s acceptance, and then there’s understanding. Three very different things.” On TLW, I think maybe Tina has accepted Bette’s infidelity. She certainly hasn’t truly forgiven Bette. I don’t think she understands her dalliance. One thing, Tina accepts her own transgressions more easily than Bette’s. I guess it’s normal.
Thank you.
I enjoy you so much in the mornings…thanks.
Tiff…gotta say I’ve been following every chapter…but now I have a moment to comment! Typically readind in done on the run..lol! I could see this…every word, movement, and Angelica’s voice when I read this. Brilliant!
I still don’t like that every time, Tina will throw out the ‘Bette let her do it’ theory. Would she stop if Bette didn’t let her? Would she really sit there and try to solve their problems? She did all of those to break up their family and made Bette speak out the breakup decision and blamed her for it. If she wants simplicity, then go ahead and leave Bette alone. If she wants to be with Bette, then be prepared for the complication. It’s all Tina’s decision. Make sure of it before going on torturing Bette.
deep. still lovin it.
Tiff…In a perfect world, this would be the perfect way for Bette and Tina to talk to one another about everything. I Loved it, as usual. Ur a great writer. Great story, Please post soon.!!
Angelica is my hero.
TD, yet again you have given me an insightful look into the inner workings of Bette and Tina’s minds. There is so much love between these gals that keeps them tethered together but still allows the freedom to speak openly and honestly. It is the frankness of these exchanges that displays your brilliance as an author. You have two equally matched and creative opponents who can duck and dive, jab and parry perfectly with one another. This allows the truth, no matter how unpleasant or hurtful, to be stated. This is a wonderous gift for all your readers to savor and enjoy. Thank you for this fabulous fan fiction. Your Loyal Fan.
In awe. Fantastic.
Yes, Angelica is so darn cute. I could’ve cried when she took her moms’ hands like that. I’m not condoning what Tina did, but I can understand when she said she wanted sex unlike she has with Bette. Even if Bette was, pardon the expression, fucking her raw, there would still be love there. They aren’t capable of just having sex with no emotional entanglement, so sex can’t ever be easy with them in the sense that Tina wanted at the time.
Man, this just keeps getting better. Angel’s not only a cutie, she’s a genius. Thanks.
I’m saying there are just some things that aren’t easily explained.” ya, just blame it on IC! He he he…sorry that was mean but couldnt resist it:)great update!
Tiff, i really, really love you’re style.
You are AWESOME, lady and the way you are writing the story is perfection in itself. The dialogoue is unbelieveable. Angelica is just a baby grownup, she seems to feel when her mothers are getting close to being angry witheach other and then she puts out her little hands for them to come with her together, and together is the operative word here. JUST FABULOUS. Thank you for souch a marvelous story.
Anjelica rules the world. Great conversation for them. You’re great, thanks.
I just have to say their are few writers who keep me checking this site everyday well it used to be only two, now there’s three! I love this story…I can’t wait for the update!
I just have to say i havent read this chapter yet, only because it’s 330 in the morning and i have to wake up in 3 hours. I wanna finish this, but sleep is taking over. I do hope you update soon and continue to do so, because this is so great.
Love the way Angie make them to stop and she so cute. Let them talk more and work thing out, they will be ok. Ok post soon please, thanks!