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    Chandelier – 40

    Story written on July 11, 2006 by tiff_duke.
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    Number of Comments: 25
    Words: 1969
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=61642
    Author Notes:

    One Step Closer

    "We haven’t gotten to the bad parts yet," Tina pointed out.

    Bette looked at her. "I’m not kicking you out again."

    "We’re not exactly the best when it comes to keeping our promises, babe."

    "I know, but–" Bette looked at Tina with a pleading expression. "I can’t stay here."

    "I don’t expect you to."

    Bette’s face fell, which made Tina backpedal quickly. "Oh, B, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant."

    "Mama," Angelica said softly, leaning forward and holding Bette’s arm, almost as if she’d sensed both Bette’s retreat and Tina’s remorse for her statement.

    "It’s not?" Bette asked hopefully.

    "I meant, this is a small house. It’s okay for me and Angelica, but with you in the picture, and with your things, it could get really cramped." Tina said quickly. "Besides, Helena suggested I get another house with a study, so I can do some work when I’m at home, maybe some freelance grant writing."

    Bette waved her hand at the latter part. "Go back to this is a small house."

    "I was actually hoping we could start over." Tina admitted, as Angelica leaned back and settled herself in her mother’s arms.

    Bette narrowed her eyes. "A new house?"

    "Yeah, I mean, we could move to the house, but I have doubts it’s ever really going to feel like home again, not after what’s happened. I don’t want to feel unwelcome in my home, you know?"

    "I guess," Bette replied, having had the same feeling for weeks following Provocations. Days on end of coming home from work, of avoiding Candace, coming home to discover more of Tina’s clothes missing. Even worse when she’d spent the night with Candace and realizing Tina had been there. The endless questions if Tina had been there to talk, to forgive her, to take her back, and knowing she’d blown her chance.

    But she’d never brought Candace home, not allowed someone else to ruin the physical representation of what she’d built with Tina.

    Too bad she couldn’t say the same for what the home represented.

    Bette glanced at Tina, who kissed the top of Angelica’s forehead, and began to have the rest of her cereal.

    Then Bette glanced at Angelica, safely cocooned in her mother’s arms. Conceived without her knowledge, but since knowing of her existence meant everything to her. Angelica was looking right back at her, as if she knew something Bette didn’t, and Bette had to concede that the little girl probably did.

    So she was wrong. The house — the home she’d shared with Tina, the place that Tina had run from, later got kicked out of — no longer represented what she’d built with Tina. The fact that they lived in separate homes was proof of that.

    Instead there was Angelica, who did a damn excellent job of representing the love between her and Tina.

    Bette slowly, hesitantly, reached for Tina’s hand, getting the blonde’s attention. "T?"

    "Hmm?" Tina asked.

    "Hmmmm." Angelica mimicked.

    Bette had to smile. "Can we actually afford to get a new house?"

    "I have no idea," Tina admitted, smiling weakly. "But it’s a plan."

    "It is," Bette agreed. She examined Tina’s left hand, in her own. "But we’ll figure it out, right?"

    Tina smiled, and leaned forward and kissed her. "That is what we do, B. We figure it out."

    Bette grinned, and held Tina by the back of her neck, keeping her close. "Daughter notwithstanding, we also do other things."

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    Comments

    1. Sorry techgal, I don’t eat toddlers, with or without cutlery. While I concede missyang her point (so true!), I still think a fresh start in a new place is probably the best way to go. Why would you want the ghosts of your former, fucked-up selves constantly looking over your shoulders while try for a better future?

    6. I am always so happy when I see that you’ve posted a chapter. Your writing is incredible, just so natural. BTW, do you know where cramit disappeared to? I was reading her stories at your suggestion but she hasn’t posted in about 2 years. Any clues?

    7. I don’t know why everytime they must do what Tina wants and set for them even when it came to Tina’s fault. So basically if there’s problem, they’ll buy a new house? And Bette is like an outsider to Angie and Tina-Angie’s life. It’s like Bette’s dating Tina who happens to have a baby.

    10. Well, well, well, TD another splendid addition to this story. As usual you captured the emotions and reality of this recenly reformed Bette and Tina. I agree with Tina that both of their houses hold too many bad memories to be the place to begin their family again. A few slate is needed and I am ecstatic that they both managed to open up to one another and calmly disucss a way forward that was acceptable to both. Just think of all of the excitement of a new home. I am sure that if they pool their resources they will have sufficient. A house is just bricks, wood and mortar while a home is a place where a family lives and shares its lives. Awesome writing. Thank you. Your Loyal Fan.

    15. Laurel Holloman does kick ass and she deserves all the kudos for her acting ability. Good choice on the Linkin Park song, hopefully they will be releasing a new CD soon. A new home that they both build together with their child is a terrific idea. That way they can start all over again and make sure that they both have their own space. I hope that you will continue to bring this story to us for a long time. It is nice to see that some people still believe in love and family. Oh yeah love the term Tibetlica.

    16. they can sell there houses, hell yeah they can buy a new one, think of all the fun they’d have and moving in…AND CHRISTENING THE PLACE!!!!! LOL!!!

    18. Why is it that Bette can understand her own feelings of ‘Tina’s house not being her home’ but she cannot understand Tina not feeling ‘at home’ in her house? I think a fresh start somewhere new is a good idea – considering all they have been through. And if Bette and Tina are making house payments/rent separately, they can surely afford a new house together – right? Anyway, another great chapter TD. Can’t wait for more! Oh – and yes – LH definately kicks ass in Angel S3!

    21. I love this story. Don’t ever stop, even when/if they get back together. Who here could just eat Angelica with a spoon?… Anyone? … Buel-ler?

    22. You hit it out of the park again! IC needs to come to you for some pointers when she decides to let B&T be together again. Your story is so realistic and beautiful. I know you usually have the ends of your stories planned out, but please tell me its not for a very, very long time. There are so few true TiBette authors left out there and your story is amazing. Thank you Tiff.

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