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Change – Chapter 26
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“Do you love Jesse?”
“Yes.”
“Are you in love with him?”
“No.”
“Have you ever been?”
“I don’t think so.”
“But you’re having his baby.”
“I am aware.”
“I don’t get it… why would you want to make a baby with him if you’re not even in love with him and have never been?”
Sigh.
“It was an accident, Helena. During the holidays, we went to dinner because she had to tell me something – I can’t tell you what it is. Anyway, we stayed there for a really long time and then when we finally left, we were the only ones still there. We were standing outside and we were this close to kissing and then I totally lost it when I got home and I just threw myself at Jesse. My mind was too clouded to think straight, I just needed the reassurance, I needed to convince myself that what I had with him was right and that whatever I would have with Bette that went beyond friendship, is wrong.”
“Did it work?”
“What?”
“Throwing yourself at Jesse.”
Tina let out an ironic laugh. “Not one bit.”
“Didn’t you consider abortion?”
Tina shook her head. “No. As soon as I suspected it, I knew I wanted to keep the baby. It’s not the baby’s fault that I was so stupid, that I didn’t think. Me, who is supposed to set an example and think clearly. It wasn’t the baby’s fault, so why punish it?”
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During those first three months of the new school year – Bette’s last one at this school – Tina and Bette grew closer to each other. Tina couldn’t explain why she did it, why she let Bette into her life. Bette couldn’t explain why she went along with it. The blonde teacher had told her so much about her life and her past that it felt to Bette that she had known her all her life. It didn’t make things easier.
It went as far as Tina going to Bette first if she wasn’t feeling good or if something was bothering. She still talked to Helena and Tim and others, but it wasn’t the same.
They didn’t sleep at each other’s houses because well, there was still that line. Altough growing vaguer by the minute, it was undeniably there.
The line was probably crossed on a November morning during the weekend. A Saturday morning, to be precise. Bette was brushing her teeth when her cell phone rang. She dropped everything as soon as she saw the caller ID. She almost knocked over her glass of water in her haste to grab it and rinse her mouth.
“Hello?”
“Bette…” The brunette’s heart stopped beating – her favourite voice in the world didn’t sound happy or even normal. The voice was broken and thick, soaked with despair, as if it was drowning in the emotion.
“Are you okay, ms Kennard?”
“B-bette… can you please c-come over?”
“I’ll be right there.”
Bette didn’t care about the fact that she didn’t have a car. Tina didn’t live that far away, maybe four or five miles. Her condition was excellent, so she just ran. She didn’t care about the strange looks some people gave her.
When she finally arrived, she was more exhausted than she thought she would be me. Probably the fact she hadn’t prepared for it mentally nor physically. But she was here and she had to get in, so she rang the bell to Tina’s apartment. A zooming sound echoed in the small porch and Bette went up.
She didn’t see ms Kennard immediately. She looked around the apartment and found her behind a corner, against the wall, her legs stretched in front of her. The sound of her crying, that was more some kind of mix between wailing and howling, was an aweful sound to Bette’s ears and her heart.
She went over to her teacher and sat down beside her, putting her arm over ms Kennard’s shoulders and pulling her closer.
“Shh, it’s going to be okay, I’m sure.”
“It isn’t.” It actually took ms Kennard quite long to say that as she interrupted herself with sobs.
Bette pulled her even closer, softly stroking her arm. Tina grabbed Bette’s shoulder, burying her head in the nape of the brunette’s neck. They sat there for what may have been hours, but the crying didn’t subside. Finally, Bette asked.
“What happened?”
“The baby… I lost the baby,” ms Kennard said softly, after which another outburst of crying followed.
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Selfishly, more soon…
Oh my goodness hate that she has lost her baby but it may be the silver cloud in a sea of darkness for them. Since losing the child that now leaves a path for her to end her relationship with Jesse and with Bette graduating in a few months she can have a little time off to recuperate and also to look for another job in another town or more to the point look wherever Bette will be going away to school and try to get a job in that town. Then they can be together when Bette is in college. Sounds very plausible to me. Great chapter and thanks for posting.
Wow…this is so sad, but so good..if you know what I mean. I’m sorry Tina lost the baby, but I don’t think her life would have turned out the way she really wanted if she made a life with Jesse. It never does if you’re not in love with the person. Maybe she and Bette can work out something to get though the end of the school year and then be together. PPS!! Love this sorry…although, I’m usually a silent reader. I’m always reading. :)
Hi dear sweet Gen! *waving* Ah, what a turning point you made here! Well, actually there were three meaningful details: 1) Tina’s confession to Helena about NOT being “in love” with Jesse; 2) getting pregnant without any true desire of having a baby and keeping it only for respect to the living creature she was carrying and 3) calling Bette when she lost the baby. You left us speechless here. We’ve just got one question: would there be a serious talk between Ms Kennard and Bette, now that things have changed or would Tina remain tied to Jesse, even when she is NOT in love with him? Hmmm Guess we will leave it up to you, sweetie. Can’t wait for your next post. Thanks for sharing this life changing phone call with us. PPS Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks. – Lucero & Marsha (Proud Salsa Aunties to the loving JC, Eunichick, ZLFAN, T_Daze, Melrose231 and Tias Adoradas to Patpez)
Genner, as always your chapters are teasers as I want more!!!!
OMG this is getting good! Keep going. Why on earth would you stop there?! You’re trying to kill me with suspense, aren’t ya? OK, OK, OK. I’ll try to be more patient. Will you PPVVVS?
Genner i need some big more.It is painful and sad that Tina lost the baby. Bette would help Tina cope with her lost I am sure. The lost of a child even unborn, is always difficult. Bette will tke care of her pain efficiently and forever. PPVS
That is so sad…..please post again soon.I can’t wait to see what develops now between Bette and Tina. They seem to have become best friends….Bette will be graduating in a few months….there is potential.
Genner, this is great. I really think that the continued build up of the relationship between Bette and Ms. Kennard was needed. I like that Bette dropped everything and ran to her friend’s aid. I also think that your writing style has really evolved. The only negative…I don’t know if I can wait until the next post. I’m so intrigued. Thanks for sharing your writing. – MTS :-)
OMG! Bette to the rescue. Thanks for the post.
Yes crossing the line-finally! Such a good build-up! sad for Tina, but necessary for her maybe to let go of Jesse..and her calling Bette first tells all doesn’t it? so good..thank you
so glad that you’re posting this story more often! it’s really progressing now too, pps!