. . .

Things between her and Tim weren’t the same anymore, of course not. They hadn’t had sex since that one fateful time and their conversations weren’t the same anymore, they were so much more shallow. Tina hated it, she didn’t want to lose her friend, not to a silly crush on a student – a relationship that was bound not to ever happen.

On top of that, she didn’t like herself that much anymore. She saw how she was turning into the kind of woman she had always swore she would not become. She was young and the lost sexual contact with Tim meant she had to replace it. In weekends, she would go out to clubs and bring random men home, men she didn’t know the first thing about. They were all good-looking, sexy and prepared to never see her again after their one night together. She knew she was becoming an easy fuck and she was probably known for it in the scene by now. She refused to give hand – or blowjobs and during sex, she always imagined it was Bette. There was no intimacy between her and these men and sometimes, she missed it. She missed holding someone after having had sex with them. It had been years – she never really did it with Tim either. It had been since Eric. It had been since Eric Carlysle, her boyfriend of 26 when she was 22 and who had cheated on her with a colleague’s wife that was ten years older than he was. Her heart was broken and it was in that period that she had met Tim. It was clear from the start that they wouldn’t ever be a couple. They both didn’t want a relationship – Tim had just busted his girlfriend with his boss.

It was hard teaching her class because Bette mesmerized her. She felt such a deep craving to kiss her, such a wild desire to hold her, make love to her and make her happy. To make her feel sure of herself, to make her see what a wonderful person she was.

Tina couldn’t help but feel jealous at this development in Bette’s life. She was moving forward, in a couple of months she would start her last year at high school and then college waited for her. A new, excited life full of new, excited people. Her future girlfriend was amongst them, maybe even her life partner. She would graduate with the highest grades and become as succesfull as she wished to be, she would be able to do whatever she wanted.

She was always lost in thought, even doing the most common things, like running errands or going to the supermarket. On one of these occasions, somewhere at the end of May, she bumped right into a guy she hadn’t noticed. She immediately started apologising profusely, feeling how she was blushing. The guy stood there with a smirk on his face, not saying a word. Tina wished he would say something – even if it was to insult her for her clumsiness. Didn’t he know that you were supposed to reassure the person that ran into you if you weren’t hurt? When she finally ran out of words and apologies, he said: “Hi, I’m Jesse Portland. No need to apologise like that, I’m fine.”

“Would you like to have a cup of coffee? You know, to revalidate from this very serious accident?”