Shane’s face suddenly grew dark. Carmen’s heart sank.

“Yeah babe?”

“Um, well it’s just that I’m kinda worried. I mean I’m really glad you’re doing this with me, I feel bad that you have to deal with this but I know I’m going to need your help. It’s just—” Shane sighed and tried to find the right way to say what she meant without hurting Carmen.

“It’s just what babe? Come on you can tell me.” Carmen pulled Shane’s chin up gently and looked into her beautiful, terrified, stunning neon eyes.

“It’s just I’m worried. When I was a kid and I was in the system, people would just come and go. I mean I would get attached to someone and then they would decide they had had enough of me or that I was too fucked up or I don’t even know what else. The point is that I’m okay with you doing that to me—but I’m not okay with you doing that to Shay. His life is really messed up right now and he needs people who he can count on who will be there for him no matter what. And I know that’s a lot to ask of you but I need you to know. If you don’t think you can stick this out—and I wouldn’t blame you, I still love you—I need you to let me know now. Otherwise I need you to commit to being there for Shay, no matter what happens in our relationship. No matter if we argue, or we break up or whatever—as long as Shay is my responsibility, I have to protect him. I can’t have him getting close to you and then you leave him.”

“Shane look at me. In the eyes.”

Carmen put her hands firmly on Shane’s shoulders and starred directly into Shane’s soul.

“I promise you that no matter what, I will be there for your brother. Even when I get all crazy and Latina and yell at you for something stupid, I promise to be there for Shay. Even if you decide you hate me and break up with me, I promise that won’t mean that Shay has to break up with me too. I told you I’m doing this and I mean it. I know what I can handle and I can handle this.”

Shane’s eyes were full of tears. Damn she hated when she cried, she felt like such a baby. Half the time she didn’t even know why she was crying. Like now she didn’t know if she was crying because she was upset that Gabe would put Shay in danger, nervous that she was going to be responsible for someone else’s life when she couldn’t even handle her own, or that she was so happy that Carmen was staying—that she would be there to help. It meant so much to her. Not many people offer to help take care of someone else’s kid.

Shane rubbed her nose with the back of her hand and sniffed back the tears.

“You okay?” Carmen asked.

“Yeah,” Shane smiled through her tears, “Yeah I’m more than okay.