”And Carrie? Have you met her again?” Shane asked, seemingly noting the unspoken request to move the conversation away from Tina.  Bette was grateful for Shane’s innate ability to read a room.

Bette raised her eyebrows and scoffed softly. ”Just the one time was enough, and that was for Angie’s sake. I don’t think we are destined to be any more than civilised acquaintances in this universe,”. Shane chuckled and shook her head gently.

”The most we can hope for is that she makes Tina happy,” she said, closing the topic to Bette’s relief. 

To a degree, Bette supported that notion. Of course she wanted Tina to be happy – she hadn’t stopped caring about Tina just because their relationship with each other failed. But, she also hadn’t stopped sleeping with her since the first time they fell into bed together a few months ago. In the aftermath, both women had agreed it was a mistake, and it wasn’t going to happen again. And then it did. It was like there was some invisible and insatiable thread tethering them together, the need to consume each other overpowering any promises they had made to themselves. There was no doubt that Bette felt a deep and profound conflict about their trysts. She kept telling herself it was purely physical, although she worried if she really searched herself, the truth would argue that it had never been purely physical between them. Ever.

Bette looked over at Alice, and once again considered revealing everything to her. In a sense, Bette felt like she needed to share this with someone – to talk it over in some way. But she was worried that saying it aloud would take it out of the shroud of secrecy, and that it wouldn’t belong to just them anymore. Despite Alice’s reputation for circulating gossip, she had been a close friend for the better part of 25 years. Alice had always been dependable, called Bette out on shitty behaviour when needed, and they had supported each other through the best and worst times in their lives. Although Bette was somewhat confident Alice could keep this secret locked down, she wasn’t sure she wanted to share this… thing – whatever it was – just yet. Was it fear of judgment? Hope? Bette could easily predict that Alice would hold her accountable and she wasn’t ready for that character examination.