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The remainder of their breakfast was a happy occasion with Angie recapping the game and eating lots of food. Before long they had all walked back to the room to gather Angie and Tina’s belongings and get her checked out. Peggy and Tina sat on the terrace talking about the huge Christmas party Peggy was planning. Angie was walking back from the beach just as Gerard was pulling up. Peggy stood. “Well, my dear. Here’s my ride. Thank you for indulging an old…” Tina suddenly pulled Peggy in to her and whispered. “I’m not okay. I’m not okay at all. I’m not sure what’s wrong or what to do about it. I’m frightened, Peggy. If I say the words out loud it becomes true. I’ve never said the words before. To anyone.” Peggy was rarely if ever at a loss for words, but at that moment there was nothing else to say except: “And now you have, my dear. Any time. Day or night. Pick up the phone. I love you, Tina. Always, always, always know that. And my dear girl, please also remember: No is always an option.”
Tina saw her daughter and Peggy off. She sat in her car and texted Bette that Angie was on her way and she was headed to the airport. Tina finally played the voice mail messages from Carrie. Each one increasingly desperate sounding. “Why haven’t you called me?” Tina felt a huge pang of guilt and vowed to call Carrie from the airport. She drove away from Shutters and from Bette and her former life not knowing what to think. Not knowing what to feel. Not knowing what to do. Not knowing. Anything. Meanwhile, Carrie knew Tina was busy, but still felt hurt that she had not called. While doing her daily social media searches, she spied a picture on Angie’s Facebook page of a blissfully happy Tina, Angie and Bette. She took a moment to read some of the comments. All congratulations and all what a great family picture. Carrie knew there were parts of Tina she did not know and would never know. But she loved her. And she wanted the chance to make a life with her. And she also knew the truth. She was not strong enough to walk away. She remembered the line from her favorite all time movie The Departed: Colin Sullivan: [softly to Madolyn while lying in bed together] “If we’re not gonna make it, it’s gotta’ be you that gets out, cause I’m not capable. I’m fucking Irish, I’ll deal with something being wrong for the rest of my life.” That right there was Carrie. She studied all of the pictures Angie had posted. No doubt they looked the happy and loving family. She ran her fingers over the image of a smiling Tina. A smile she knew she had never seen from her. “If we aren’t going to make it, it will have to be you who ends it. Because I can’t.” For the first time, Carrie cursed social media. “Fucking Facebook. Come home to me, Teenie. Please come home.”