But no such message was getting across. The hand which had lain idle against my trousers, persisted in staying in its place. I felt her fingers tighten their hold and move slowly and deliberately in a sweeping movement to my knee and then back again up my thigh. I took in a shaky breath, every one of my senses honed in to the feeling of her hand. How was I supposed to get out of a situation like this? Bette was setting my future carrier up for me and if I made a wrong move that could all be taken away from me, before it had even had a chance to begin. I didn’t want to offend her but in her actions she was succeeding in offending the very principle of mine and Millies affections towards each other. She was disrespecting everything we had gone through to be at the stage in our relationship which we were in now. All the pain and confusion could be simply made trivial by empty actions that Bette Porter was enforcing on me. Trapping me into a corner consisting of her persistence and my lack of power.

Bette, I don’t mean to be rude but…

She removed her hand and placed it on the gear stick, straightening up in the leather drivers seat as if the action had been completely natural.

Please accept my apology Trix, Tina and I had a row last night and my head seems to be in overload at the moment. I don’t know what Im doing. she glanced at me with a wry smile. I guess I need to face up to reality sooner or later.

I frowned, face up to reality? What did that mean exactly? The reality that she was in a relationship with someone or that she wasn’t ready to be in a relationship with someone.

Why do you have to face up to reality Bette?

She chuckled, looking away from me to watch the scenery pass by out of the drivers window, only to refer her glance back to the road a second later.

Look at me Trix, Im not getting any younger and I love Tina with all my heart. Its about time I made a serious commitment to someone, for the first time in my dating life I’ve met someone who I can imagine spending the rest of my life with. And here I am, trying to throw it all away. The frustration in her voice was evident and I had a feeling that this was not a topic of discussion which was brought up with Tina very often.

Youre not trying to throw it away Bette, its ok to be scared you know. Im guessing youre used to relationships that have a pretty certain expiration date or one night stands that don’t rely on any form of commitment, so if someone comes along that you want to spend the rest of your life with then everything you know goes out the window. This is a clean slate because Tina cant be categorised into anything youve experienced before, her personality and love for you cant be generalised into something you are used to dealing with. Its only natural that you should feel like running away, no matter how much you love Tina, she cant provide the security of your past life. Now youve just got to figure out what kind of security she can give you, and I think I can honestly say that what Tina can offer you is triple what anything in your past could.

As I finished my spurge of advice, which had been listened to intently and processed as if it were the directions for a map somewhere. The sleek, soft top came to a halt. I hadn’t really been paying attention to where we were going and as I looked out of the window to see the tower of rooms, piled on top of one another to make up the hotel which Millie and I had first consummated our love within. My body was racked with nerves and I suddenly didn’t want to leave the safe confines of Bettes car, which only moment ago I was contemplating bolting out of into the road. I looked at Bette, my face mirroring the worry and dread building up in my stomach.