I feel like a teenager sneaking in from the forbidden bight out. But I’m long away from my teenage days. And as I close the door, looking over my shoulder, I call out her name.

“Bette?”

My voice is met with silence. She’s not home; as I had guessed. She’s out celebrating the reopening of The Planet with the rest of the gang. I wanted to be there but the new pregnancy was taking it’s toll on my body. I didn’t have enough stamina to hang out with the girls. Not tonight anyway.

I make my way from the door to the kitchen. Not a dirty dish in sight. And I knew it wasn’t from Bette being such a clean freak. No, that was me. I knew a clean kitchen meant she was surviving off of takeout. I open the fridge to find paper cartons, plastic cartons, and salad boxes decorating the shelves. As I inspect each one, I discard the spoiled ones and keep the others. I look in the cabinets to find the food I had packed in them weeks before still there.

“Oh Bette,” I sigh.

I look at my watch and decide that I have enough time. I begin to pull out pots and pans preparing to fix a meal to sustain her through the weekend. I gather a few ingredients and soon realize that I have enough to make a variety of dishes. Two hours later, I wipe the sweat off my brow and push the last container in the fridge. I take out a bottle of water and start guzzling and read the labels I made. Each one with the dish name and directions on how to reheat.

Vegetable Curry Casserole- do not reheat whole. Cut into individual slices, wrap in foil and set in over at 325 degrees for 15- 20 minutes.

Minestrone Soup w/out Cabbage ( cause it gives her gas)- place on stove eye at 300 degrees for ten minutes. Stir at five minute mark.

Taglatelle Bolognese- add 1/4 cup of water and heat at 300 degrees until water has steamed empty.

watch carefully.

I know that my instructions seem a little dumbed down but I know how Bette is after a long day at work. To tired to compute.

I stretch my back and walk to the bedroom to gather more clothes; my true reason for coming here.

The bed is unmade. Her laptop is resting on the pillow. Her pajamas are thrown across the mattress. The only thing that is where it is suppose to be are her suits. Hanging on the hook inside the closet, waiting to be taken to the cleaners. I place the laptop on the end table next to a set of aspirin bottles. I trash the tissue and lay her pajamas on the bureau. After I pull up the bedding, I smooth them down and replace the pillows. I couldn’t resist holding one close and inhaling her scent.

I miss her.

I can hear the ghost of our relationship walking down the hall. I can hear it’s giggles of happiness as it reaches the bedroom. I can hear the faint whispers of our love. I shut my eyes seeing Bette standing before me in another time. I see her pull my shirt over my head. I see her bend down and kiss me as I mumbled against her lips…come back to bed. I begin to relive that night hoping that she will walk through that door and find me here. So I can hold out my hand and ask her… no, tell her to come to back bed.

“You have one mew message,” the male automated voice says startling me.

I pick up the laptop. I don’;t recognize the screen name. I open the message.

I miss you. C

There’s an attachment. I move the arrow over the file and click. A picture is downloaded. She’s in her bed, in her arms…asleep.

I blink long and hard finally setting the computer on the bed. I grab a few suits on hangers and throw them over my arm. I don’t look back.