“So remind me again why Porter’s sorry ***** isn’t over here helping us move this stuff?” Alice asked, pushing stray strands of sweaty hair out of her face.

“I believe her sorry ***** is packing up her own stuff at her place,” Tina said. “I can help you, you know. I’m pregnant, not an invalid.”

“We’ve got it,” Shane insisted, giving Alice a look she couldn’t argue with. “It’s not heavy it’s just awkward.”

“Yeah, that’s original. Like, ‘It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity,’” Alice said, picking up her end of the empty dresser and moving it through the doorway.

“Where’s Miss Dana? She’s got some muscle we could use,” Shane said, carefully navigating the large piece of furniture around a tight corner.

“She’s at the Club, hiding from Tonya. So what are you saying, I don’t have any muscle? I’ve got lots of muscle,” Alice said indignantly.

“Running your mouth muscles, maybe,” Shane grinned.

“Are you guys ready for a break?” Tina asked, looking from one to the other.

“We can play nice, Mom. Don’t worry. Besides, we’re almost done, right?” Alice asked, as she and Shane set the dresser down.

“Yes. This is it,” Tina said, looking around the newly transformed bedroom.

“Not bad. A little on the small side, but hey, it’s only temporary, right?” Shane said.

“Exactly. We were going to use this room as the nursery. Before. I love how much light it gets.”

“When is Bette moving in?” Shane asked.

“Tomorrow, I think. Now that the bed has delivered, she should be set,” Tina said.

“What does Helena think of all this?” Alice asked, raising her eyebrows.

Tina shook her head and smiled at Alice’s endless quest for controversy. “She’s fine with it. I mean, as long as their kids are young, she and Winnie still have some serious strings attached. I think she can really appreciate my situation with Bette. Besides, Helena is verysecure.”

“She means arrogant,” Alice stage-whispered to Shane.

“You know, if you ever spent some time with her, you might actually end up liking her,” Tina said.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I already have enough people I like in my life. I don’t need any more,” Alice said.

“No, Tina’s right. We should spend some time with Helena. Get to know her. See if we approve,” Shane winked, slouching against the doorframe.

“Right, so she’s going to meet us at Milk? Or come to poker night?” Alice smirked.

“Why not?” Shane shrugged.

“Has she ever come to Milk or poker night yet?”

“That doesn’t mean she won’t,” Shane said.

“How long have you two beenyou know,” Alice asked Tina.

“I don’t know. A month and a half? Two months?”

Alice turned to Shane. “And how many times have you actually seen Helena?”

“Al, what’s the big deal? She travels a lot. I don’t even spend that much time with her,” Tina frowned.

“Well, we’ll have to set up a time when we can all hang out together, okay?” Shane said.

“Okay,” Tina said.

“Great,” Alice added.

“How about a pizza, you guys? My treat. I’ll call Minutello’s,” Tina said.

“No anchovies this time, okay? I know your taste buds are out of control, T, but I can’t do those creepy, hairy fish,” Alice shuddered.

“No anchovies,” Tina laughed as she left the room.

“Could you be any less subtle?” Shane asked as soon as Tina was out of earshot.

“What? What did I do?”

“Trashing Helena.”

“Tina shouldn’t be with Helena. Tina should be with Bette,” Alice hissed.

“Yeah, well when you trash Helena, you force Tina to defend her. And that’s not helping Bette.”

“*****, you’re right! And you know how much I hate it when you’re right.”

“Justchill, okay? Let this Helena thing run its course,” Shane said.

“So now you want Bette and Tina to get back together?”

“I told you before, what I want is for Tina to be happy. And I trust her to figure that out without my input. Or yours.”

“Hmmph,” Alice muttered.

But Shane had already turned on her heel and walked out of the room.