TINA- “What were you thinking!?!”

HELENA- “I don’t…”

TINA- “WHAT could you possibly have been thinking!!!!”

HELENA- “…know…I don’t know…I didn’t mean…”

TINA- “You don’t know! Helena…”

HELENA- “Take it easy…”

TINA- “HELENA…what are we going to tell Bette? Take it easy?! Yeah….that’ll work.”

HELENA- “But I didn’t intend…”

TINA- “Doesn’t matter…you shouldn’t have and I…ugh!!!!”

HELENA- (She sits at the small table in her office and looks out the window as Tina walks over and sits at the table too.) “I was just…it was easy to get caught up in the moment. And it was so…well, so enchanting, so sweet.”

TINA- “Great. Just great.”

HELENA- “Oh come on Kennard, it’s not like I forced myself…”

TINA- “Hey! Don’t try and minimize what you did. You hand the upper hand in the situation…”

HELENA- “Upper hand?”

TINA- “You should know better. Look, I don’t know, maybe this is somehow meant to be, but there are important things to consider. It’s a sensitive set of circumstances. You can’t ignore the context. I really wish we had all talked about this before things got out of hand.”

HELENA- “Tina I’m sorry, it all happened so quickly and I…I just don’t know.”

(Helena shakes her head.)


(Back at Bette’s office, as they were leaving for lunch Gerri appears. Both Bette and Alice look like deer in headlights upon Gerri’s approach, though for different reasons. Gerri, on the other hand, looks happy and nonchalant.)

GERRI- “Hello Alice. It’s nice to see you. Hi Professor.”

BETTE & ALICE- “Hi. Hi ya…”

GERRI- “Professor I wanted to touch base on the Hubbleshtein proposal.”

BETTE- “Who? Oh…yes…Uhm…Gerri I…I wanted to touch base with you too…”

ALICE- (Trying to get her to go to lunch instead of talk to Gerri…) “Porter we gotta go, maybe when you get back.” (She smiles nervously at Gerri.)

BETTE- “Give me a second Al. Gerri, do have a minute?”

GERRI- (She taps Bette on the arm…) “Sure Professor.” (She’s smiling happily, which causes Bette some confusion…she thought she’d be uncomfortable at this point.)

ALICE- “Porter please, I’m hungry. I’m sure Gerri here will be happy to see you afterwards. Right Gerri?”

GERRI- “Of course. Whatever Professor Porter wants.”

ALICE- “Right…uh huh…”

BETTE- “Alice, just have a seat in the waiting area.”

GERRI- “Hey it’s ok Professor, I can come by later…anytime. Just let me know.”

BETTE- (Bette pulls her to the side for privacy…) “Gerri, you know everything is going to be just fine. We’ve got a lot of work to do together and I’m lucky to have you as my student assistant. I really enjoy that and nothing will change that. I just want you to know…”

GERRI- (She puts her hand on Bette’s arm…) “Professor, don’t mention it. I feel privileged to know you and work with you, and I certainly hope nothing changes. You’ve changed my life.”

BETTE- (Looking uncomfortably at her and kinda inquisitively…) “Well, I’m sure I haven’t been so influential, and you’ve done all the hard work yourself, I may have…I…you know sometimes we meet people and given the circumstances of our life at that point in time they enter our life like a whirlwind and turn everything upside down inside and…”

GERRI- “Professor…are you ok? You seem kind of anxious…”

BETTE- (She doesn’t quite know what to say and sort of chuckles…) “I…we should talk…in my office.”

GERRI- “No problem. How about after your lunch? I have to go and see Professor Murlioni anyway about that B he gave me.”

BETTE- “Uh…ok…I…sure…this afternoon then.” (Gerri nods and smiles and says goodbye as she walks off happily. Bette stands there staring. Alice walks over.)

ALICE- “Ah to be young and in love…”

BETTE- “It’s not funny Al. This is a bit complicated you know. But she’s seeming really happy. It’s so bizarre. I thought she’d be in a bad state.”

ALICE- “I think it’s just a little more complicated than you know.”

BETTE- “What?”

ALICE- “Come on my mocha beauty, we must go to lunch…and drinks…stiff drinks. And promise to keep calm…I’m just the wise and all-knowing messenger.”

BETTE- “Alice, what are you talking about? I already know that she’s got feelings for me…misguided though they may be.”

ALICE- “Oh her feelings are misguided all right, but not for the reasons you think. Come on…more anon…over hard liquor.” (As Bette looks at Alice with growing impatience and confusion, Alice pulls her by the arm and they go off to lunch.)


(Back at Peabody’s place of business…about an hour later.)

TINA- (She gently holds Helena’s hands in her own…) “I’m sorry to be yelling at you, but you and I both know that this is not right. You really should know better.”

HELENA- “Tina, I don’t know what to say, but it feels so right. You know?”

TINA- “No, I can’t say that I do, and I’m not too sure Bette will see it the same way and then we’re in for quite a situation. I don’t understand how it got this far. You’re a bright and seasoned woman, and I shouldn’t have to explain all the things wrong with this.”

HELENA- (She puts her hand on Tina’s cheek…) “It’s just the delicacy of it, the sensitivity, the vulnerability, the chance to bring an imprisoned soul into its own…liberating it…”

TINA- “Okay Helena…you really need to get a grip.” (Helena’s hand falls to her lap but the two continue to hold hands.) “Hey, I do understand what you’re describing. It’s hard to not get caught up in some way, but Helena…think about the ramifications. You’ll be fine, but…” (A loud knock interrupts as they both look at the office door that swings open. Bette walks in with Helena’s assistant Martha trying to stop her.)

MARTHA- “I’m sorry Ms. Peabody, she wouldn’t wait.”

BETTE- “What the hell do you think you’re doing!”

HELENA- “Bette…”

TINA- “Bette…” (She stands and starts walking toward her…) “Please…”

BETTE- “Unbelievable! Do you think maybe you should have talked to me! Don’t you think I deserve the decency of consulting me? Instead you betray me and take advantage of someone close to me? What’s wrong with you!?!”

TINA- “Bette stop…”

BETTE- “And you…what the hec are you doing?”

TINA- “Would you please take it down a notch.” (Martha leaves, closing the door behind her.) “There’s no need to raise your voice and let this get out of hand.”

BETTE- “Out of hand? Tina I’m surprised at you.”

TINA- “Bette calm down. And maybe you should ask questions first before launching on a tirade and throwing accusations around. I would think you’d know me better by now.”

BETTE- “Apparently not.”

TINA- “Excuse me?”

HELENA- “Bette please…she didn’t do anything wrong…”

BETTE- “Helena, are you completely insane? Or just stupid? Or deviously oversexed? What is this? Return of the Dragon!?!”

TINA- (Now getting angrier…) “HEY! Now that’s enough!” (Helena looks wounded.) “Bette, just calm down. You’re acting like a jack ass.”

BETTE- “I’m acting like a jack ass?!!!!! Have you any idea how horrible this is?”

TINA- “Bette, sit.”

BETTE- “I will not…”

TINA- “SIT! Both of you…just sit.” (Bette stops ranting and as she fumes she walks over glaring at Helena and slowly takes a seat at the small, round conference table, while Helena looks on, half afraid, half hurt.)

BETTE- “Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.”

TINA- “Stop…enough.” (Tina takes a seat between the two. Just then, the door flings wide open and the motorized peabodymobile brings Peggy into the fray.)

PEGGY- (Driving her wheelchair straight into the office.) “Have you gone completely mad Helena?”

HELENA- (She looks a bit shocked and sighs…) “Oh God…” (Her head drops to her arms on the table. Tina gets up and approaches Peggy quickly.)

TINA- “Please Peggy…it’s ok, we’re handling it. It’s ok. Please…just give us some time.”

PEGGY- “All right Tina. But if she gives you any trouble, you know where to find me. Honestly Helena, I don’t understand you sometimes. I love you dearly, but you try my patience time and again. Fine Tina, I leave her to you. Good day ladies.” (She does a u-turn and out she goes. Tina walks back to the table and sits.)

BETTE- (Sarcastically…) “I think we should have left her to Peggy…”

TINA- “Bette…please…”

BETTE- “Well, she’d deserve it. How did Peggy find out anyway? Has this gotten all over LA for crying out loud?”

TINA- “Well how did YOU find out?”

BETTE- “Never mind.”

TINA- “Right. Now let’s just calm down. It’s not the best set of circumstances, I admit, but it’s not the end of the world.” (Bette looks indignant…) “Oh just relax Bette. It’s not like Helena didn’t try to talk to you. She did phone you didn’t she?”

BETTE- (She now remembers that Helena had called but Alice interrupted…) “Yeah, she did, this morning. But still…”

TINA- “Still what? She acted as soon as possible.”

BETTE- “Not soon enough to do the right thing to begin with.”

TINA- “Why are you so angry? She didn’t do anything intentionally to harm anyone, least of all you. Why are you acting like…like…”

BETTE- “Like what T? I frankly don’t understand why you’re being so understanding. Still got a soft spot for the old Dragon eh?”

HELENA- “WHAT?”

TINA- “EXCUSE ME!”

HELENA- “You know Bette, I can understand you being a little angry, but that sort of thing is uncalled for. How dare you say such things after over 20 years of friendship between us. And I’ll not have you insult Tina as well, particularly for no good reason. Honestly! You’d think I had put the moves on Tina instead of…”

BETTE- “Instead of my young and impressionable student? Yes Helena, it’s almost as bad in my books. She’s my student you twit. She’s going through a difficult time and, as a woman more than double her age, I would think you would have the wisdom to keep yourself under control.”

HELENA- “Oh you’re just pissed that she’s not still madly in love with you!”

BETTE- (Fuming…) “WHAT?”

HELENA- “Yes, the Porter ego is bruised is it?”

BETTE- “You have no shame have you? And having nothing better to say for yourself than insult me.”

HELENA- “No…that’s how YOU started this discussion Porter…you went on a tirade before even giving me the chance to explain. Calling me ‘Dragon’ again…even insulting Tina…that ego of yours still knows no bounds.”

BETTE- (Turning to Tina…) “How can you listen to this? Do you hear her?”

TINA- “Bette, she’s right…it’s not like Gerri is 14. She’s a grown woman, young though she may be. She’s Angelica’s age, and while the early twenties aren’t exactly a extremely mature stage of life, I don’t think your reaction is proportionate. Clearly, Helena should have exercised some restraint, particularly given Gerri’s sensitive state and that she’s your student, but you’re making her out to be the rampaging ‘Dragon’…devouring and corrupting impressionable youth. Gerri is in a difficult time, but not unlike Angelica, she’s an independent woman.”

BETTE- “Gee I wonder if you’d be this understanding if she had gone after Angie.”

TINA- “BETTE!”

HELENA- “Now look, I’m not a bloody predator for Pete’s sake! And while I’ve been known to be a bit of a cougar of sorts, I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. And to suggest that I would be inappropriate with anyone in the way you’re describing, especially my Angie, whom you know I love and respect, is totally uncalled for.”

BETTE- “It’s just a hypothetical…I don’t think Tina realizes the ramifications. Citing Angie might make her understand that.”

TINA- “Bette…you’re being ridiculous. The ramifications are not the end of the world. This can be fixed, but ultimately we are still…and this is why I brought up Angie…dealing with two consenting adults.” (Bette looks annoyed…) “I know…that doesn’t totally excused Helena, but let’s at least put this into perspective.”

BETTE- “Tina…” (She then looks at Helena…) “Dragon…it’s like a betrayal of trust…do you understand where I’m coming from?”

HELENA- “Whose trust are you talking about? Gerri’s or yours?”

BETTE- (Annoyed…) “Both.”

TINA- “Bette really…”

BETTE- “Okay, well look…I know you were at least trying to reach me. But geezus Helena, you knew she was in a state and…I…I feel responsible for her…you know? It’s delicate…she’s my student. Look at it from an objective perspective. I have her as a guest in my home and you put the moves on her. The only thing worse would have been if I had succumbed.”

TINA- “Uh huh…I would have killed you.”

HELENA- “I know…I understand. And I’m sorry. But I didn’t plan this and I have to tell you it’s caught me by some surprise. I think I’m just as confused if not more so than Gerri.”


(Over at Steve’s place, the sensitive discussion continues.)

GERRI- “It’s so intense. You must think I’m bonkers but it just feels so amazing. I love Professor Porter, and up until the party I really thought I was in a tail spin where she was concerned. But I realized that I value her, look up to her, respect her, admire her, and think she’s just the most amazing person, but she and I are meant to be colleagues and hopefully friends. This other woman though, it’s different. It’s like we’re on a reciprocal wavelength. Something about it feels right, not like a star-crossed mismatch or ill-fated meeting or whatever. And she looks at me on the same level. You should have seen…well, felt…well…that kiss Steve…just thinking about it makes me…”

STEVE- “Easy there Gerri…I think I get the picture. She’s hot for sure, but I’d rather kiss Professor Porter any day! Anyway…Gerri, do you think maybe this might not be a good idea…I mean she’s way older and you just met and…well, she’s a friend of Professor Porter…so it’s complicated. Maybe you should think about this.”

GERRI- “I know what you’re saying. But Steve, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time now, before I even met her. I came to terms with who I was before I met her. It’s not like I experienced this and suddenly think ‘Oh…I’m into women.”

STEVE- “But still…”

GERRI- “Yeah, I know. She’s so gentle and so cool though, and…I don’t know. When things got complicated with Professor Porter, it was all one sided…you know? She’s was oblivious…totally oblivious to what I was going through. So it never felt quite right…powerful feelings that I couldn’t extinguish, but it was all off somehow. But now…this woman enters my life and I look into her eyes and see…”

STEVE- “A cougar looking back?”

GERRI- “Hey!” (She slaps him on the arm.)

STEVE- (Chuckling…) “Sorry.”

GERRI- “I see understanding…I see a reflection of my feelings…I see a receptive soul.”

STEVE- “Ger…I think you need to take this slow. You realize that all this that you see may not be what you think…it’s not like you’ve known her long enough to have a clue what’s going on behind that sexy face and body of hers. Don’t jump to conclusions. I know you’re overwhelmed with feelings, but easy does it. I want you to be happy, but you have to be open to the possibility that’s it’s not the same thing for her.”

GERRI- “We went out on the weekend.”

STEVE- “What?”

GERRI- “Yup.”

STEVE- “Oh boy. I thought this was just based on the impromptu kiss at the party.”

GERRI- “Nope. It’s definitely a little more complicated.”

STEVE- “I’ll say…”