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Tina stepped out onto the back patio of the bar to get some air.  She bummed a cigarette off of the lady next to her and inhaled deeply.  She rarely smoked, but felt an intense need to get some relief.  The smoke burned her throat as she inhaled.  It was as if she needed to have some sort of physical sensation to match what she felt emotionally. She took out her phone and texted Eric.  

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Bette walked back to the table, hoping to see Tina sitting there.  “Where’s Tina?”, Helena asked as Bette sat down.  

“I don’t know”, was all Bette responded.  She slid into the booth next to Alice and took a sip from her drink.  Bette was a master at playing it cool and tried her best to shake off the disappointment from the moment before.  The other women at the table did not seem to notice, but Alice was quick to pick up on Bette’s distress.

“What’s up Porter?”, she asked.  “You look like you lost your puppy?”

Bette shook her head and cleared her throat.  “Nothing… I’m fine.  Let’s just have a good time tonight.”  

A good twenty minutes passed before Tina returned to the table.  She had come to say good night to Helena and the rest of the girls.  

“Leaving already?  We just got here!”, Helena exclaimed when Tina announced she was leaving.  

“Something came up”, was all Tina responded.  “I’ll call you tomorrow?”

Bette just looked at Tina, noticing that the blonde purposely did not make eye contact with her.  She could not let Tina go like this…not after what just happened.  Bette did not do drama, but could not help but want Tina.

Tina turned and started walking toward the door.  Bette shot up and followed Tina out into the cool L.A. night air.  “Tina……..Tina..would you just wait!”, Bette yelled.

Tina stopped, but did not turn around.  “I can’t… I’m sorry”, she said again. 

“What can’t you?  I don’t understand.  What are you sorry for?”, Bette said exasperated.  She desperately wanted to understand why Tina was acting like she was.  “You can’t honestly tell me that what just happened didn’t mean anything to you… I sure as hell know that I have never felt that before”.

Tina closed her eyes.  Her body said turn around, but her head could not be convinced.  Just then, a car pulled up and honked.  Tina walked toward the car and got in.  She stole a quick glance at the woman she left as the car sped away.  

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Eric took Tina back to his place.  She was especially quiet in the car and Eric didn’t question why.  He knew something was wrong, but didn’t want to push Tina into telling him until she was ready.  As they stepped into his apartment, Tina grabbed Eric by the collar and kissed him.  She kissed him with everything she had, trying desperately to recreate the passion and fire she had experienced just a few hours before.  She pulled Eric’s shirt over his head and pulled him close as if her life depended on it.  Eric responded to Tina’s advances and pinned her against the wall.  He began to kiss and caress her body.  Eric’s facial scruff scraped against Tina’s skin.  It hurt, but it was just what she wanted.  It was the most basic connection between a man and a woman, but it was not enough.  Tina tried harder.  She kissed harder…she clawed harder…she screamed hard.   She had lost herself in the need to feel.