Alice withdrew her hand and took a sip of her wine. "I know exactly what you mean."

Lara looked questioningly at Alice, who was furiously trying to maintain her own composure. Swallowing hard, Alice whispered fiercely, " I went on a date the night that Dana got sick. If I’d stayed at home maybe she’d have gotten to the doctor in time to prevent everything else. And as for the last day….I don’t know if I was making nice with Tonya or picking out a stupid stuffed sunflower….fuck….she had to be so scared." A wracking sob escaped her, and she covered her face with both hands. "Wh-why couldn’t I have just waited….god, why did she have to die?" Alice groaned and glared with suddenly angry eyes at Lara. "So, you see….she did need me, and I wasn’t there for her either." Tears rolled down her cheeks.

In an instant, Lara was around the table and cradling Alice in her arms. "Alice, it’s okay. You were there every day for her." Lara kissed the top of Alice’s head and rubbed her back.

Alice leaned into Lara’s side, comforted by the contact. Her breathing slowed and she sniffled softly. Lara laid her cheek against Alice’s head and asked, "What did Dana say to you before you went for your walk that last day?"

Alice started. "Wh-what do you mean?" She pulled away and looked up at Lara with weary eyes.

Lara smiled sadly. "It’s okay, Alice. I’m okay. She told you something, didn’t she?"

Alice nodded.

"What did she say?"

Alice whispered hoarsely, "She told me she loved me."

Lara nodded, as two tears rolled down her face. "You were there for her Alice. Know that." She swallowed. "Have you ever lost anyone to a long term illness before Dana?"

Alice thought for a moment. "An uncle…but no one close."

Lara sighed. "I lost my dad three years ago. We had a team from hospice that helped us during the last few weeks. In preparing us for the last days, they told us not to be surprised if Dad went while we were out of the room. They basically said that, in their experience, people who are dying often have a sense of what is happening, and they seem to try really hard not to die in the presence of their loved ones. In fact, they said it was relatively rare for someone to slip away in the company of others. They couldn’t explain it, but we heard every one of the hospice workers say the same thing. In fact, my dad passed away during the fifteen minutes we were out of his room one afternoon. I think he didn’t want that to be our last memory of him. Alice, I bet Dana did the same thing. You were there for her as long as you could possibly be there…..and she did love you."