Once at Tinas house, Bette asked shyly if she could stay over, they sat at the table. Driving home Bette was talking non-stopshe was saying how much Tina meant to her and for her not to believe what others said. Tina very quietly asked if Bette saw the girl talking to her. And Bette snapped her jaw shut and didnt open it for the rest of the drive. Tina was trying to get her to talk, and finally fed up yelled at her to stop being a ***** *****. At that Bette whipped around and told Tina to shut the ***** up. And silence prevailed again. This time both were feeling equally angry at the other. It was like all the heat and passion was converted to rage and it ate at them both. Bette gripped the steering wheel, hurt and seething at the same time. When she got to Tinas house Tina got out of the car not looking back. At the angle Bette was seeing her Tina looked like a little girl, so slender and vulnerable. And all the anger washed away, Bette scrambled out of the car and ran to Tina who was punching in her number. Wrapping her arms around Tinas waist Bette cried out, in a very nasal and sobbing way, dont leave meIm so sorry so sorry so sorry…please Ill tell you everything everythingCANT YOU SEE YOUR ALL I HAVE!!!!!!!!! Tina held onto Bettes arms and in a very quiet voice cooed shhh BetteshhhIm not going anywhere come on chin up Betteshhh. Bette stood p on shaking legs and they embraced Tina rubbing Bettes back and softly saying everything was going to be alright. And then looking in her voice she saidJesus Bette we just had our first fight.half-laughing Bette managed a smilehope it wont always be like that. And fiddling with her cuff she asked if it was alright if she could stay at Tinas tonight. Opening the door Tina said of course. Once in the kitchen Bette took a deep breath and sat at the table, silently Tina sat at the table too. Both knew a talk was inevitable and so there was no need to articulate it. Once there Bette tapped on the table with her fingertips, then looking into Tina face crossed her legs and spoke.Tina..I saw that girl speak to you and I got the gist of what she was sayingI freaked out and was in my Saab driving awayI stopped and came backand you know why I am back?…I came back because I love youthere it isI ***** adore every cell in your body I want to make you happy I get happy seeing you happy dammitI want to by you thing I want to make love to you sleep with you I want to be with you forever and ever and everI couldnt stand it to see that girl because its my pas Tina my pastI slept with a lot of women..and it all meant nothingI was a ***** player with a reputationand that al melted away when I first saw youyou ***** tore me apart and I was left with nothing but what was going through my head when I saw youand that was a feeling I cant even explain right nowits the only thing that really nourishes me.At that Bette stopped, her head hanging.

After a few minutes Bette felt a touch, Tina was touching her wringing hands. And then in a very calm and clear voice Tina spoke.Bette.the first thing that came into my mind after that girl spoke was I love my Bette so much, thats what it was Betteit was how much I loved youand how much I didnt care about what you did in the pastbecause Ive seen you in your most vulnerable states and I know you never did that with anybody before.I knew that because of how you trembled in my arms how much you sank into them so vulnerablyno matter does that if it happened beforeit was like it was the first time for youand I know it was.so Bette baby.im here..And taking Bettes hand in hers Tina placed it on her chest, her heartthis Bettethis is what mattersthis is real.

A half hour later they undressed and crawled into bed. And they did not make love. Instead spooned with Bettes arm around Tinas waist they rested in each others presence. The most intimate thing you can do was to sleep with the woman you love without having *****…Bette believed that now. And when she was sure Tina was asleepBette whispered in her ear the poem she composed days earlier

you have my life in those hands my darling,
bury my heart beside yoursbecause all of us..
all of us are all better loved.