The night is cold and wet. Bette drives carefully in the rain, driving slower than usual safer than usual. She drives so carefully there is no time to think of what to say. It is so unlike her, thinking but not planning what to do. She used to be together. Bette doesnt turn on the radio or music, her CD collection lies on the passenger floor. The night is still alive though. Driving past crowds of people Bette looks sideways from time to time, the clubs still open coffee shops filled with caffeine addicts. Getting closer Bette gets calmer.

Tinas apartment is still lit. Only one window though, probably being the bathroom. Parking Bette rests against the car seat, for a minute then five. Her heart slows to a regular beat, she is sick of feeling like her insides are nut mash. Taking a deep breath Bette gets out and runs to the big doors, punching in Tinas memorized number. She doesnt buzz, in case Tina doesnt want to see her. If Tina was Bette she definitely wouldnt want to see herself.

The elevator smells like bleach. The janitor must have polished the handles recently. Bette stands still, the scent giving her the beginnings of a headache. Great. Finally the doors open and she steps into the hallway. Bette suddenly feels like Alice in Wonderland, huge in this small hallway.down the rabbit hole looking for something. 116.this one. Stopping in front of Tinas door Bette stands still looking down brushing herself down. Wiping lint off her shoulders wiping rain from her eyes. Bette raps once, twice, thriceshe can see the flakes of paint on the door begin to peel. Breathing slowly, waiting. It was a shock to see how haggard Tina looked. And slightly disconcerting to see calm she was to see Bette. Was she that predictable?

Bette didnt say anything and instead leaned against her heels waiting, looking Tina in the eye. They looked at each other like strangers, and then Tina stepped aside and walked down the hallway leaving the door open. Bette followed closing the door and stepping out of her heels. Walking quietly to the kitchen Tina was waiting at the kitchen table, it was so structured Bette felt even calmer. It was almost therapeutic, that table, organizedquick to the point. . Bette sat down and drummed her fingers on the chair beneath her. It was weird to look into Tinas face and have no idea what to say. She looked just as lost for words as Bette. Minutes went byand after an awkward uncomfortable silence Bette spoke. Her voice cracked at first but got stronger as she on.