“I feel insulted, Tina, do you honestly think that I could have taken you to bed if Kelly and I were still together?at least not without telling you first. Kelly and I have been having problems a long time .We have been through for a long time.”

“Not according to Alice, …wasn’t she living with you just recently?”

“Tina, Kelly and I are over”

“Are you sure she’s over you?”

Bette trapped Tina’s face between her hands, drew it up close to hers and forced Tina to meet her eyes. “I’m sorry. I should have told you about Kelly. But that’s all I have to be sorry for. I don’t love Kelly. I haven’t for many years.”

“Why was she at the party?”

“Shane invited her, because she’s been staying with Shane.”

“You guys certainly looked cozy to me”

“There’s nothing between us, Tina. I’m not even sentimental about our breakup.” Bette’s voice had taken on a desperate edge and her hand pressed harder against Tina’s cheeks. “Why are we arguing about this? Don’t you know how much I love you?”

Bette’s mouth came down on Tina’s possessively. She wanted to impress her sincerity on Tina. She moved her head to one side, slanting her mouth over Tina’s and parting her lips for the penetration of her tongue.

Tina’s craving for Bette hadn’t abated. She melted against her as Bette’s arms closed around her. Tina moaned against Bette’ lips. She wanted Bette so bad. She could already feel her insides melting and her center getting wet Oh she wanted her. But, dragging her mouth free , she pressed her forehead between Bette’s breast. “Bette, no,no”

Bette lifted her mouth from Tina’s, her breath uneven. “What’s the matter Tee?”

Tina loved the sound of her name on Bette’s lips, and as much as it pained her she had to do what she was about to do.”This has to stop Bette, we can’t go on like this.”

Bette didn’t even pretend to misunderstand. “Why not?”

“It’s happening too fast.”

“Not for me, it isn’t”

“For me it is. Tina drew a deep breath. I love you too Bette, but I think we should take things slow. I’ve barely been separated and already I’m having an affair. My parents don’t know that I’m separated, and I don’t know how to tell them that I’m in love with a woman….A woman I’m not even sure I can trust”

“You can trust me Tina, but that’s not the problem is it?”

“I don’t want to sneak around and have a secret affair.”

“I wasn’t planning on sneaking around, and having a secret love affair”

“That;s not what I meant Bette. You’ve known who you were almost all your life. I’ve just had a couple weeks to get used to it. I need time. .. .Time to assimilate all of this.

“So what are you suggesting?”

“I think we should take a respite.”

“A respite?”

“From being lovers.” Tina’s throat closed around the words, but she squeezed them out.

“You mean start as friends who date occasionally?’

“Something like that .” Tina said softly.

Bette stepped away from Tina. Her expression  sad. “No, Tina. I can’t just be your friend. I don’t need any more of those. I need a fulfilling relationship with a woman. A lover and partner . If I see you at all, I ‘ll pester you until you were back in my bed again. You’d come to dread seeing me and…” Bette lifted her arms in a helpless gesture. “It would be a lot of pressure on both of us. I don’t want that, do you?”

“So it’s all or nothing then?”

Bette’s shoulders heaved with her sigh. She walked towards the door without a word to Tina. When she opened the door, she turned around. “I love you , but I’m tired of groveling, I’ve come to you for the last time. The next time, if there is one, you’ll have to come to me.”

 Tina looked at Bette standing in the doorway. She wanted to wrap her arms around her, beg her not to leave, tell her to hold her for the rest of her life…But she couldn’t. She watched Bette walk through the door and possible out of her life. She felt so alone._____

T B C.