“Henry”, Tina said very sweetly, “I accept your apology. I don’t even blame you anymore for the affair. We’re very different people and we don’t belong together. Goodbye.” Then she hung up. “ Oh Bette what have you done to me?”

Bette still couldn’t believe it. Tina had pushed her away. She’d kissed her and made love to her and then she’d actually pushed her away! “friends, my ass”.She could keep her friendship. I’m done chasing after her.

After screeching into the parking lot at the Planet, she sat in her car for a few minutes. She felt humiliated and she wasn’t ready to share her humiliation with her sister just yet. So she just sat there ,speechless and stunned. When she had gathered enough courage to go inside, she was glad that the place was empty except for two customers. Kit was standing behind the bar wiping down glasses and singing along to Mary J’s “be without you.”

She smiled when she saw Bette. “Hey, how’s it going baby sis?”

Bette sat on the stool directly in front of her sister. “The answer to that , sis ,is complicated”

Kit stopped wiping the glass in her hand and looked at her sister. “I’m all ears, start talking.” Then she held up a martini glass. “Vodka,Tonic?”

Bette cringed slightly. “As much as I’d like one, I think I’ll go with something a little safer. Give me a coke”

“What’s the story?” Kit asked. Tina still mad at you?”

“Well,” Bette began, “she wants us to be friends with benefits.”

“Really,” Kit said, “Isn’t that the way you’ve always operated before, so why so sad?”

“This isn’t___ , this is different …” Bette paused, “This is not like any other relationships I’ve been in Kit, I love her” It was out of character for Bette to talk about her feelings so openly. The cool,collected, and stable Bette Porter rarely allowed her emotions to erupt so vehemently. But never had she been in love. Not like this. Why did I fall in love with her.? Bette berated herself. She should have known better. Falling in love with a married, straight girl.

Bette couldn’t remember her mother’s love. And even though her dad had loved her, his love had come with stipulations and expectations. All she had was Kit and then one day she just left suddenly. So Bette had learned from an early age to depend on no one but herself. Defensively, she had protected herself from entanglements that would provide only temporarily loving care. Until she had let her guard down for Kelly,___ and look how that turned out. N-ow there was Tina, the true love of her life. From somewhere deep inside her, she knew she couldn’t tolerate the pain of parting, of losing the woman she loved.____Not until she met Tina kennard, had she opened her heart so wide, had she let down her defenses for someone to show her deep affection. Tina had received Bette’s first real love, and she had spurned it . Am I that unlovable?