It was a Thursday afternoon in Weho and Bette paced her spacious living room, trying to console Angelica who screamed at the top of her lungs.

Bette:”Shhh… it’s ok baby! Mommy T. will be back real soon… she just had to see her dentist, you know?”

Being still fairly new to this parenting gig, Bette still had to realize that her leadership and refined debating abilities wouldn’t yield the desired results from the still screaming infant. It finally dawned on Bette what Angelica really wanted… the unpleasent smell emenating from the little girls bottom was the last clue she needed.

Bette:”Shit! Why do you always have to do that when you other Mommy isn’t around?”

Not waiting any longer for a satisfying answere from Angelica, Bette took the little one to their bedroom to get her changed. She was halfway done when the telephone started to ring. Slightly panicing she tried to finish the messy procedure as fast as she could, as she couldn’t just leave Angelica on the bed. Having given away the crib didn’t seem like such a good idea all of a sudden. When Bette finally reached the phone, her answering machine had already accepted the call.

Bette: “FUCK!”

Knowing the rather defective state the answereing machine was in, Bette silently began to pray that it wouldn’t be an important call. It took the machine a minute to do it’s work and Bette nervously pressed the play button right next to the now blinking light.

A.M.: “This is Neil… *brrrzzzpfz* … of the Los Angeles… *zzrrrpfft* …like to offer you a position…*pfrrrztbrrr*… generous salary…*rrrrzztppfffff*…please call  me…*bbbffrrrzzzzt*

…349… *beep*”

Bette: “FUCK… FUCK ME! GOD DAMN IT!!!”

“This is all your fault!” said Bette throwing a evil glare at the little one she still had cradled in her arms. In her boiling anger, Bette sat Angelica on her sofa and taped her tightly to it with generous quantities of silver duct tape. Angelica giggled happily, obviously enjoying the feeling to be confined.

Bette:”Ha! You like that dontcha? … Should have done this two hours ago you little nerve wracker… fuck atachment parenting! Whos stupid idea was that anyway… couldn’t have been me…”

Contently smiling Bette sat down next to Angelica. Leaning forward, she reached under her coffe table, her fingers finding the pack of menthol cigaretts she had hidden there. “BINGO!” Slumping her body back on the sofa Bette lit a cigarette, imensly enjoying this rare moment. “Want one?” Bette said leaning over to Angelica. “Guess not…”