Tina? T? Are you there? Alice was now fully awake. She was worried about Tina. She looked at her clock on the night stand. *****, Ive only been asleep half an hour. This better be good. Hello? Tina? Whats wrong? She didnt get any replies. So she pressed the receiver to her ear and listened hard trying to hear whatever she could. After a minute, Alice hung up. She knew where Tina was, so she grabbed her keys and dashed over to the one destination that Tina used to call home.
—–
Dane? Who the ***** was that?

I, I, I think that was Tonya. I think, I think she heard our conversation Shane. *****! Dana dropped her whole weight on to the couch shaking her head.

Dane, Dane, everythings gonna be ok alright? Im sure she just needed time alone right now

No Shane! Its over; its over between me and Tonya. I know it is. I just have to find her and tell her.

But Dane dont you think she already knows? I mean, if you said she heard our whole conversation she mustve known!

I dont know what to think anymore. I have to tell Alice

And what are you gonna say Dane? That youre leaving Tonya? Does Tonya know about the kiss?

No, she doesnt I mean at least I dont think so

Right, she doesnt but then she knows now! Dana looked at Shane her face searching for something that could make it all go away. I screwed up, I kissed my best friend and now Ive fucked up everything.

Shane I have to find her. I have to explain it to her, tell her how things are going to be Dana started to get up but Shane placed her hand on her shoulder and gently pushed her back down.

Shane sat down next to her trying to calm her down. Dane, if you think shes not the one for you, then by all means; confront her, tell her the truth. But do it when youve had the time to think of what you want to say to her, not in the state youre in right now. You also have to think from her perspective Dane, shes hurt. She loves you but shes in pain. So she might not want to hear whatever you want to say. So just think about her too ok?

Dana looked Shane. How could someone so young be so wise? All this time she knew Shane was their Yoda but she never really thought much into it. But today, only in the space of one day, Dana has started to look at Shane in a different light. Yeah, yeah youre right. Youre right. But what am I going to do in the meantime? I cant just sit here and wait. I have to do something!

I know you shouldnt talk to Alice about this, but its good to have company in times like these So what do you say Dane?

Umm what do you mean? Where do you want to go?

Should we go and see if Alice is at home? Tina should be there you know Bette and Tinas situation; Im sure they need all the support they can get from us. Im not talking about taking sides, just us friends, trying to be there for each other

Yeah that sounds good. God, I hope things will be ok soon. Everythings just so fucked up right now! And I just cant imagine how things would be if Bette and Tina couldnt work it out

I dont know Dane; its still too early to say. Come on, lets go. Well take my truck since yours have been kidnapped Dana chuckled and locked the door behind them.
—–
She stood there frozen. Her feet wouldnt move. They stayed put. Her brain commanded them to move forward but somehow the message just wouldnt get through. Her heart beats faster and her breaths became uneven, trying to catch up with the thuds in her chest. Her eyes blinked once and then twice just to make sure she wasnt dreaming; that whatever lies in front of her wasnt a dream. She wanted to say something, to tell her she loves her but nothing came out apart from a heavy sigh. She wanted to reach for her with her arms. Her arms just wouldnt budge. They stayed limp on each side. She tried again to reach her, but still she couldnt. Tears started to run down her cheeks. She wanted so much to hold her, to pull her into her arms and whisper sweet words in her ears but even the act of touching her couldnt be accomplished. I love you, I love you so much, she kept saying in her head, over and over, hoping somehow Tina would be able to hear her.

Tinas expression has been unreadable the whole time. She didnt move, didnt say a word and looked like she didnt even breathe. Bette wasnt sure of what Tina was thinking, for all she knew, Tina hated her, wanted nothing to do with her. But why was she still here? I thought she has gone home. I couldve sworn I heard a car drove off. But that was a half hour ago. How could she just be standing here all those time? What was she waiting for? Did she want to talk to me? Didnt she have anywhere to go? All these questions played in her mind, if only she could get something out.

Suddenly Tina blinked her eyes. Bette could see her eyes started to water. Her heart ached just to see her in pain. She put all her energy to reaching Tina with tears streaming down her cheeks. Her arms finally moved away from her reaching Tina. Tina saw this and the tears started to fall. Bettes arms were now wide open wanting to embrace her wife. Tina moved a step backwards and she nearly lost her balance.

Seeing this, Bettes shoulders began to shake. How could Tina want me, after what I did to her? She must really hate me. I love you T, please forgive me. I need you; I need you more than anything. Please dont leave me, please just let me hold you!!! Bette was dejected, she wanted to say these things to Tina but nothing will escape her mouth but a soft cry of desperation. Tina hadnt moved, she just cried there staring at Bette. Bette let her arms fall to her side, knowing too well she was waiting in vain.

Bette stared at Tina, trying to read her. She was the only one who knew the real her. She used to be able to read her, but lately she hadnt been able to, not since she could remember. She couldnt stand the pain reflected in Tinas eyes so she let her attention fall to her own feet. Her shoulders shook harder now, she realised how far she is from any reconciliation of any kind, how shes fucked everything up just to have her lifeline move away from her. Bette needed Tina to love her, to need her and to take care of her. She needed Tina to be in her life. She knows she couldnt breathe without her. She really couldnt live without her.
—–
Tina looked at her, her facial expression blank. From the years they had spent together, she knew what that meant. She knew Bette wasnt expecting to find her there, she knew Bette was on a mission, and that she had found what she was looking for. She knew Bette, more than anyone else. She also knew Bette had been crying. Even under her sunglasses she could tell her eyes are red and her eye bags are huge. She didnt want to console her cos she too was still hurting. She was the one who got the worst end of the stick.

When Bette opened her arms willing Tina to be held, Tinas first thought was to run into those familiar arms. But her instinct took charge and she moved a step backwards. Her heart wanted to push Tinas body into Bettes arms but her mind had different agendas for it. Tinas mind raced both to run to Bette and runaway from her. Tina couldnt figure out what she wanted. Her heart or her confused mind? She began to cry and more uncontrollably when she saw Bettes arms fall back to each side. Doesnt she want me? Why wouldnt she fight for me?

Bettes mind was racing. She could now hear Tinas sobs. She didnt know what to do. Bette always knew what to do to make Tina feel better. But now it was different. Bette was afraid of doing anything anymore. She was afraid it would only make things worse. When she heard Tinas cry getting more audible, she shifted her attention to Tina. She couldnt take it. She knew she had to do something. And she knew it was the only thing she could do for now. She struggled to move her feet so she could get closer to Tina.

Her arms moved on her side and her left foot moved an inch. Her hearts raced as she moved closer. They were now inches apart and she could feel Tinas breath on her. She lifts her arms and touched Tinas shaking shoulders. The contact ran electricity down her spine and made her shiver. Her mouth open and for the first time she was able to make something out.

Forgive me for holding you T, I love you Tina kept on crying as she let Bette pull her into an embrace.