All I can say is that I am damn lucky I wasnt wearing hoop earrings because my gashed forehead would not have been the only body part in need of repair.

After K had caught me red-handed air ***** the young, athletic and completely unsuspecting ER intern, she apologized profusely and sincerely on my behalf explaining to Dr. Gabs that I was under psychiatric care and was just not right.

Then without care or concern for my failing health, my not-so-loving wife grabbed me by the earlobe and cruelly dragged me into the nearest storage closet for an unnecessary tongue lashing.

She didnt seem to realize that the bump on my head I had just acquired while walking into a light pole as I absently and obsessively read a sext message from my HOTPEN was throbbing and causing me great discomfort – as much discomfort as my unforgivable behavior was causing her I suspect. No, she didnt seem to care at all as she pulled me like the stooge I was down the hall and into the closet.

After opening the door, she recklessly pushed me into the medical supply room and discreetly locked it behind her. In a matter of seconds she had me pinned up against one of a number of wooden layered shelves stocked with sterile scrubs, white linens and endless rolls of toilet paper.

As she continually poked my chest with her index finger, I leaned back into the shelving and raised my arms in surrender, my palms facing outward, my elbows bent as if I were tied to a cross. The smell of cinnamon oozed from her breath, most likely from the sugarless gum she was chewing., and her face drew dangerously close to mine as she spoke.

And I couldnt help but think how much I loved it when she played the role of Bette Porter , taking charge, giving directions, dominating me, irately disciplining me for my moronic behavior. And just like Bette, she was hot – she was ***** hot

For some strange reason I couldnt hear a word she was saying despite the fact that my eyes were glued to her lips – those luscious Carmen-like lips – lips I loved licking, kissing, biting playfully.

Maybe it was that hair of hers, that highlighted, streaked, crazy-***** tussled mess on her head – so Alice like. Or maybe it was that lean body of hers – lean like Shane, flat stomach, but muscular like the athlete she was – kinda like Dana.

She was a combination of everything and everyone I obsessed so uncontrollably over every Sunday night. She was hard to deny and even harder to ignore

Regrettably I let my eyes drift from her mouth and wander down her body and suddenly felt that letting my wife get the upper hand was not acceptable.

So I grabbed that index finger in mid-poke, pulled her entire arm down to her side, and in my own Bette-like fashion, put my free hand into the hair on the back of her head and pulled her close. Then I kissed her, kissed her like I knew, kissed her like I knew her in the biblical sense, kissed her like I wanted her shut the ***** up. Yea, that kind of kiss.
Stunned, but only after she let my tongue dance all over hers for what seemed like several minutes, K broke the lip lock, stepped back and looked at me with the most devilish smile I had ever seen – well at least not since two nights ago.

She let out a sultry Bette Porter-like laugh and huskily whispered in my ear as she pushed me back against the shelves.

I know you liked my tongue way down there, didnt you Beach?

(MOTHER ***** ME – – DID SHE READ MY TEXT MESSAGE WHILE I WAS GETTING STITCHED UP BY GORGEOUS GABS??)

Now it was my turn to be stunned, stunned and frozen in fear, the kind of fear you experience when you have just been caught red-handed – AGAIN.

And I know you like my fingers way up there, dont you babe, she continued to whisper as her hand found its way beneath my still wet and blood-soaked shorts.

(HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD — I AM A GONER, A ***** GONER)

Uuuhhhh, K, my poor attempt to get attention was fruitless as she unexpectedly removed her hand from my shorts, slowly turned me around, grabbed my wrists, held them above my head, and once again pinned me up against the shelves.

Hold on to the shelf babe, she continued to whisper in my ear, letting go of my wrists as I gripped the side of the wood.

I believe this is a public place, wouldnt you agree, again whispering in my ear, her hot breath making my nipples oh so hard.

You see, K and I have a life goal of having *****, making love, doing it – whatever you want to call it- of having ***** in over 300 public places before we die. Although trying to think of whether or not a hospital store room was actually on that list was certainly not something I could recall right at this moment.

I couldnt recall but I could agree, and I most definitely agreed with her.

Before I could respond she ran her fingers through my hair, grabbed a handful of my thick brown wavy tresses and pulled my head back.

My heart was beating so fast I was truly afraid . I tried desperately to identify that fear – fear of being caught having ***** in public, fear of another heart attack, or fear that K really did read those phone messages.

It didnt matter because the more I feared the more I wanted K inside me.
(SO GO AHEAD BABE, SCARE ME ALL YOU WANT, SCARE THE ***** OUTTA ME, SCARE ME TO DEATH, JUST KEEP ON SCARING ME)

I know she could sense my excitement as well as my fear and she continued to stir it up.

As she pulled my head back, she once more whispered in my ear, I know you like it from behind, dont you Beach? (MOTHER ***** ME I NEARLY CAME WHEN SHE SAID MY NAME – I LOVE IT WHEN SHE SAYS MY NAME) I want to make you happy, babe, I want to give you what you want.

Once more I mustered all the remaining strength I had to get my lovers attention and clarify my desire. Uuuhhhh K, I struggled with the words as she started to move her fingers down my body. The operative word here, sweetie, is FROM behind, understand? And remember I just had nearly major surgery so be careful.

K couldnt help but laugh and neither could I . I let her fingers do the walking as she wrapped her arm around my waist and pulled me close and quickly had my shorts around my ankles. (DAMN, SHE IS GOOD!)

I gripped the sides of the shelf tightly as K gave me what I wanted, just like I wanted it. And as my body began to shudder from sheer explosive pleasure, that grip on the shelf became death like as I held on for dear life.

But I just couldnt keep my balance and when I came, I reached behind me to grab Ks head in one hand while the other one just wouldnt let go of the shelf.

And when I fell back into Ks body, pulling her hair I also pulled the shelf down on top of us as we both fell to the floor– K first, me on top of her and a hundred rolls of toilet paper, spanking clean scrubs and piles of linens on top of both of us.

Despite the fact that I was literally lying on top of K, her hand still deep inside me between my legs, I managed to grab a couple of clean towels biting down hard on one to suppress the laughter that was spewing from my mouth. I tossed the other one over my head and told my wife to pipe down before we BOTH got dragged out of there by our earlobes.

Nearly an hour later as we drove home in a very comfortable silence, I thought about my day – a session with my shrink, sext messages from my HOTPEN, a bump on the head, touched by a bag lady, chatting with my guardian angel, Bette, a hot ER doc and ***** with K. I had a great day.

And it was the thought of the last exciting activity that made me once again laugh out loud, causing a similar reaction from K! I just love when that happens – you are just sitting there, all quiet then you think of something wonderful that happened to you and you just laugh out loud. K certainly made lovin fun.

You know, Beach, Ive been thinking, K began to speak after drying the tears from her eyes as she couldnt help but laugh — she too thinking about all that toilet paper covering us in the store room closet. We could really use a little vacation, me and you, just the two of us.

That would be great, K, I said excitedly. The thought of spending time alone with K always excited me. What do you have in mind, babe?

Well, I finally finished those chairs for that aids hospice over on the east coast, so I thought that you could help me deliver them and then we would spend a few days in the Keys.
Do a little fishing, scuba, hang out at Sloppy Joes and visit whatshername down on, ***** you know that street. What do you say? Sound like fun? I really think you need some time to relax.

(MOTHER ***** ME AND ***** ME HARD . . DID SHE JUST SAY THE KEYS? THE KEYS? THE MOTHER ***** KEYS???)

Oh my gawd, babe, that sounds awesome. And you are right, I could use some time alone with you (AWAY FROM THE CELLPHONE AND THE COMPUTER FOR SURE). What about Elvis? Take him or ask the ***** boys next door to watch him.?

I could hardly concentrate on her answer as my mind began to multitask. As much as I wanted to get away and be alone with K, THE KEYS is where SHE vacations – THE ONE, THE PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS WRETCHED CONDITION I AM IN. THE ONE WHO HOOKED ME WITH THAT STORY SHE WROTE SO LONG AGO. . THE ONE WHO TEASES ME, TAUNTS ME, ABANDONS ME FOR WEEKS AT A TIME. THE ONE WHO LEAD ME TO THE OTHERS, TO ALL THE OTHERS . . THE ONE I LOVE TO HATE AND HATE TO LOVE. YES SHE VACATIONS IN THE KEYS – – YIPPEE YI OH KIAY!! THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS.

K had been rambling on about arrangements – get a house sitter to watch the dog since realistically none of our neighbors would agree to babysit our perverted, peeping tom of a border collie. I had to arrange time off work; we would have to rent a van to take the furniture to Key Largo, and on and on and on she spoke.

Hey where we will stay? I asked knowing exactly where THE ONE spent her time.

Remember we need cable to catch the L if we are going to be gone for the weekend. And internet access so we can read FAN FIC together like we used to babe. It will be fun wont it.

(GOOD MOVE, BEACH – DISTRACT HER WITH DETAILS–STEER HER TO STAY NEAR THE ONE – YOU CAN DO IT – YOU HAVE DONE IT BEFORE – YOU HAVE DECEIVED K A NUMBER OF TIMES – YOU CAN DO IT . . . COME ONE . .)

I was truly excited about a mini holiday with K, reconnecting with her in a way that we needed to and yet I was able to conceal the excitement about the possibility of stalking HER.

I had already fed one new addiction by meeting the famous FAN FIC mush queen, SEAHURST , and I had plans to chase Chase and even head to NYC for a rendezvous or two with the big city girls.

Yes, I was pathetic alright – still deceiving K always a priority when it came to the persistent urge to merge with L people. My wife just didnt get it but that doesnt mean I dont love her or want to try to L her up.

Sometimes you just need to engage in deceptive and destructive behavior to satisfy the fixation of the L. Sometimes you get caught, sometimes you lie, sometimes you regret the behavior, but it is always so satisfying when the need is satiated – whether it be a sext message for the HOTPEN, e-mails from other authors, reading all the incredible stories, watching the show, listening to the cd, whatever. Sometimes you just need a little L.

I couldnt wait to get home and check the computer to see if SHE had posted or commented or left me a cryptic message on the discussion board.

Yes, as K drove and chatted on endlessly about getting away, my head throbbed, my earlobe ached and my heart pounded at the prospect of seeing HER . . . .