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    Do you remember when… Chapter 13

     

    But the emotions that they shared following, she smiled slightly, it was intensely passionate; it was always intense and passionate, until today…

     

    Today the passion had diffused before it had even ignited, and now, she wasn’t sure what she was suppose to feel, she knew she felt sad, upset, emotional, drained, there was no anger, there was no rage within her, but she had elements of fear, but what was she afraid of… 

     

    She knew what she was afraid of… but was that fear a jealousy or an insecurity; she raised her forehead from the glass, her hand reaching her eyes as she rubbed her temples, the sudden headache appearing as the emotions travelled through her.

     

    The choke caught in her throat as those travelling emotions surfaced, she was afraid, she was afraid of losing the one person that she loved intently, deeply, profoundly.

     

    She remembered how it felt to lose someone she had loved that much before, her childhood pain of watching the woman she loved unconditionally walk away from her, and to grow up without that woman’s love in her life was not something she thought she could survive as an adult…

     

    And so as she saw the woman’s hand on Tina’s back, her insecurity kicked in, the anger rose, her protection of the woman she loved raised its head and her emotions became defensive, she would fight any person who dared to even attempt to take away the only other woman she dared to love, and it was now clear that it was a fear… an insecurity… that she felt when that happened, she wasn’t jealous, not in the meaningful sense of how jealousy is transcribed, her jealousy was brought out of fear, fear of losing the one who made her complete…

     

    Tina pushed herself off the wall, a nod of the head as she came to the understanding of her own emotions and once she had been able to think clearly about her own, those of what she understood Bette’s to be also became clearer.

     

    Her hand poised at the door handle, she had heard no sounds coming from within Kit’s office since she had slammed the door in Bette’s face, ‘what a stupid thing to have done in the first place’, she thought, if Bette had done that to her, her anger would have exploded, but when the opposite happened and she did it to Bette, Bette’s emotions were also the opposite, she retreated within her emotions, not explode like Tina did, but today… Today the door had slammed and they had both stood on either side of the barrier with their own thoughts.

    Comments

    1. You know Jo, as I read this, it occured to me that this is the only coherent explanation of why Bette would have debased herself for the sake of staying with the abusive Tina of season 3 that I’ve encountered. Certainly nothing IC & Co. ever even came close to offering. Fortunately for everyone, your Tina isn’t the self-serving harpy with the sometimes pleasantly plastic, sometimes sour smile that the TV show offered.

    2. very emotional chapter for both of them…i’m glad they have an understanding…this is how i saw bette on a show as well, so tough to everyone else and so vulnerable inside…thank you

    3. Lamentamini, a couple chapters ago you asked about Nadia Merchant. Alice and Shane, well, everybody talked about Nadia on the show and they all hated her with a passion and some others have written about her. Jo captured their dislike of Nadia very well. Jobadge, you have captured the emotions and feelings in all their rawness between these two young women as no one ever has before, even IC, especially IC. You write them and all aspects of their love and lives with such a clear and distinct passion and power that they almost jump off the page. It is so palatable that we can feel it and see it so clearly when we read your words. It is almost real. That shows what an enormous talent you have and with the ability to reveal it so wonderfully. thank you for such a great story. We love it.

    4. Great job. You wrote Bette and Tina’s emotions brilliantly. So we addressed Bette jealousy, which I kinda figured, but are we gonna address how Tina seems to suddenly demand things without clarification, or with assumption and then instead of processing through it with Bette leave? Now at least here she was able to figure things out herself, but I think she still does some…infliction on Bette with these snap decisions. Last Time Bette suffered head laceration, this time, Bette suffered an emotional upheaval. OK, enough babble, good job can’t wait for more…PLease post more soon.

    5. At first reading, I thought, deja vu but then you brilliantly and insightfully expanded on one small incident. The brilliant writers can do that….get the reader to understand some small facet of a character’s personality w/o telling us but by exploring and having the characters show us. Needless to say but I will….a pleasure to read.

    6. How true, how true…at least they didn’t let in continue. Tina stayed and then went back. Too often the pain and anger are the one’s in control, life should be this simple. To turn and go back and talk, make things right. Thanks!!

    7. Hey Jo! I was away and caught up with your last chapter kinda late. that’s why I didn’t comment… I wanted to say that I totally back up Azmama’s comment! One of the things I like the most about your work is its depth. And this chapter illustrates that so well! When reading the last chapter, I was delighted cause I love that theme: Bette being so protective with Tina (Yeah, for me, it’s also protectiveness ;) Not even mentionning the passion ignited by these ‘episodes’… (And not talking only about B & T here ;) But then, you don’t stop there and take us to a much deeper level in exploring your characters inner feelings about the whole issue. It makes them so much more beautiful (if that’s ever possible) because you show them in the glorious light of their weaknesses and imperfections. I don’t resent Tina’s behaviour at the beginning of the chapter. On the contrary, I feel that the parallel between Bette’s excessive jealousy and behaviour, and Tina’s sudden change of mood and withdrawal from Bette, is what makes the whole point of this chapter. And in the end, it is clear that it is what brings them together, as it triggers their reflection. Thanks Jo for allowing us to witness the imperfections of this perfect relationship! Cause B & T are not just a happy couple. it’s so much more complex than that. It takes work and communication, and lots of bumps. But if you’re ready to deal with the bumps like they are, then you get a hell of a partnership, beautifully described to us by the Master!

    8. NOOOOOOOOOO don’t let them go home – you still own me some action on Kits desk LMAO!!!!! Wow what a deep and emotional chapter, nobody do it like you do – brilliant and fantastic!!!

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