"Well, I never called or got in touch with you because I couldn’t bare to hear your voice". Her words crushed the spirit and underlying butterflies I had whilst I sat there. She couldn’t stand to hear me talk. This was going to be more painful than I thought.

She proceeded "I’ve come to listen, shit this is harder than I thought it would be to be back in this house. I nearly told Helena to turn back around." Her words were honest and full of sadness; she nearly never came but I’m glad she did.

"I’m glad you came though, it means a lot that you have given me this opportunity for me to explain. Its the least I owe you". She never spoke she just fiddled with her bracelets. It was then I noticed her commitment ring was gone; like it had never existed. I pushed back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"I want to say for the millionth time I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through, it was never my intention to hurt you or to force you out of the home we made together. I had a momentarily lack of insanity and I fucked up on the one person I ever truly loved."

I could feel her eyes burning through my skin, it was intense and I desperately wanted for her to say something instead she remained silent. So I continued, "I know what I’ve done is unforgivable but I do hope one day you will be able to. And learn to trust me again. I will do anything you ask Tee, to gain that. Can I ask if you still love me? I know I have no right but…".

She interrupted "Yeah you have no fucking right to ask that given the fucking situation Bette. You don’t have any idea how much this has hurt me. I mean why the fuck did you do it? Did you think you was never going to get caught was that it?". Tears had started to free-fall down her cheeks; they seemed ones of anger.

"I can honestly say I don’t know the real reason I did what I did but, I know I was dealing with a lot of stress and grief over losing our baby boy. I didn’t know how to handle it. I was so focused on trying to help you through your grieve I left mine pushed to one side; and tried to shighfull through. I’m not blaming you; it was and always will be my own wrong doing. Tee, please know how sorry I am. I just hope you find it in your heart to forgive me one day." I allowed my self to break in front of her; there was no point bottling it inside anymore for she wouldn’t care if I let myself go. I couldn’t look at her in so much pain. It was excrutatingly painful to watch her sob so hard and with anger and resentment towards me.

"You shouldn’t call me Tee anymore it doesn’t feel right for you to be able to call me that. I’m not yours anymore Bette. Maybe one day I will be able to forgive you but right now I feel like that day might not ever come. I’m being honest with you; I think we should make this as amicable as we possibly can. I mean we do share the same circle of friends; and things are becoming increasingly awkward trying to avoid conversations about you between the girls."

I looked over at the woman I’d hurt deeply through the tears that kept free-falling onto my face, this seemed to be a goodbye. I don’t know what I had been expecting but nothing had prepared me for a final goodbye. From the woman who had been in my life for nearly a decade; and it wasn’t merely enough time.

"Is this goodbye?". Was all I could say as I swallowed hard as my throat became increasingly dry and sore.

"This is whatever you want it to be Bette, you did this remember. I came and I’ve listened and I can see you seem genuine about being sorry but sorry just isn’t enough. I had come also to tell you that… Well it doesn’t matter I think I’ve made my decision now".

Tina’s voice seemed somewhat certain for the first time since she had sat down. "No just tell me whatever it is you have to say no matter how bad. I deserve it!". I knew I deserved whatever blows she sent my way.

"Well I don’t know how to say this, but I’m…I’m".

"Your what Tina? Seeing someone else?". I couldn’t help but cut her off, she seemed to be stalling it had to be she was seeing someone else. I had a slight queasy feeling it was a guy. I mean I’m the only woman she has been with well I think I have I don’t know what has happened in recent weeks.

She broke me from my incoherent thoughts, "I’m pregnant…."