The margarita went quickly from Tinas empty stomach to her head. She was enjoying the lightheaded feeling it brought and anticipating the relaxation it promised.
Mary was sitting next to her on the patio with her own glass half empty. She leaned toward Tina as she spoke.
So how was the energy in Taos this weekend?
Tina sat up a little. Oh, great. You were right, its unique.
Mary smiled at her and held her gaze. I thought youd be open to it.
Tina smiled back and wished for someone else to join them. She heard the screen door slide open behind them, and then her mothers voice. Lobo the dog trotted out and put his head on Tinas knee.
Tina, I was telling Mary how much we enjoyed our hike this morning, Diane said cheerily.
Oh yeah, beautiful, Tina agreed.
Diane was standing in front of them now, holding a platter of tortilla chips and salsa.
Help yourself, she said. Wayne made the salsa.
Both Tina and Mary reached for a chip as Diane continued to talk.
Mary knew the trail we were on, shes hiked all over.
Mary shook her head. Oh, not really
Diane put the platter down on the table.
Well you know all the best trails around here, Diane said. In fact, maybe you could take Tina on one sometime this week.
Tinas eyes shot up to her mother with a look of disbelief.
Marys cheeks turned pink. Id love to, she said.
Great, Diane smiled.
Tina was feeling displaced and annoyed. Am I even ***** here? she fumed to herself.
Mary noticed. Um if you want to Tina.
Tina tried to recover, oh, I, uh, wouldnt want to trouble you.
Mary smiled sweetly. It wouldnt be any trouble. I go by myself a lot. Well, the dogs come too, but Id love to have some human company.
See, that would be nice, Diane said.
Tina looked at her mother again, furious, and stood up.
Im going to see if Wayne needs help, excuse me. She grabbed her glass off the table and headed for the door. Wayne was on the other side of the screen door balancing steaks on a platter and some jars of spices. Tina slid the door open for him and then stepped inside. She headed for the pitcher on the counter and topped off her glass with the margarita mixture.
Diane came into the kitchen behind her.
Are you alright, honey? she asked.
Ill be better if you stop arranging playdates for me, Tina hissed.
Diane was taken aback by her daughters anger.
What do you mean?
I mean out there, with Mary, Tina said, motioning toward the door with her hands.
I just thought it would be nice
Well it isnt. I just want to crawl under a ***** rock right now, and youre making plans for me.
Dianes face turned red, she took a deep breath. Dont use that language with me.
Tina looked away. Sorry.
Diane spoke in measured tones. I thought I was doing you a favor. I guess I was mistaken. She walked past Tina and opened the refrigerator door.
Tina looked down at the floor. She didnt want to stay here but she didnt want to go back outside either.
Diane was piling salad ingredients on the counter behind her. Tina turned around.
Ill help you, she offered.
No, Ive got it thanks, Diane said with her head still inside of the refrigerator.
Want me to set the table?
I did it.
Tina sighed and walked toward the back door, taking a big drink as she walked.

When Diane set the table she took the flowers that Bette had sent and placed them on the dresser in Tinas room. Still, their scent lingered in the air and when the four of them were seated around the table eating, Tina felt as if the flowers were there the whole time. Diane was avoiding eye contact with her. Tina knew her mother was still upset from their altercation in the kitchen and she felt bad. She was angry at what her mother had done, but she was probably a little harsh in telling her. She would apologize later.
Wayne and Mary were carrying the weight of the conversation themselves and they didnt seem to mind. They shared the same sense of humor and Tina discovered that Mary was a good storyteller. In fact, she told a story about transporting one of her sculptures across country for an exhibition that had everyone at the table, including Tina, laughing. The shyness Mary showed when they first met had faded with each contact and here, among friends she was quite animated.
Tina had finished her second margarita before dinner. Mary had offered to make another batch, but since she would have been the only one drinking, Tina declined. She was sipping some wine with dinner though and thinking that getting drunk was pretty appealing tonight. Not the right crowd though. If she were home yeah, that would be good. She should call Alice later, and maybe Shane too. She was lost in her own thoughts for some time. When her mind came back to the conversation she could hear Waynes voice and see Marys face looking at her with just a small smile.
After dinner and dessert, everyone helped clean the kitchen and then went back onto the patio. Tina was more than ready for the evening to end, but Wayne lit a fire in the chiminea and the other three settled in their chairs. Tina reluctantly joined them.
Who wants some brandy or amaretto or whatever else we have? Diane asked.
Oh, a first rate idea, Wayne said. He got up to take orders, reviewing a list of options.
Tina was all for it and she chose the amaretto. Mary had the same and followed Wayne into the house to help him.
Tina and her mother sat in silence for a few moments until Tina sighed and spoke.
Sorry about earlier.
OK, Diane said softly.
The fire crackled and sparked.
Its hard to see you unhappy. I want to fix it for you, Diane said.
Tina looked over at her mother, who was watching the fire.
A burst of laughter from the kitchen heralded Wayne and Marys return.


When the glasses were empty and the fire was only embers, Mary stood up to leave. Tina had been quiet in her chair for a long time. The alcohol had made her sleepy and sad too. She stood up slowly and heard her mother say something about taking the dog for a walk. Diane and Mary began to debate about it. Mary offered to take the dog on her walk home and bring him back in the morning, but Diane said it was too much trouble. Tina had no patience for the debate and she owed her mother something anyway.
Ill take the dog, Mom.
Are you sure youre not too tired, honey?
No, no the walk will be nice, Tina said.
A few minutes later, Mary and Tina were walking down the road toward Marys house with Tina holding Lobos leash. She was walking a little slower than usual because the alcohol was making her steps uneven.
Tina looked up for the first time and noticed the sky full of stars.
Oh my Godthe stars.
Yeah, theyre gorgeous tonight Mary said.
Theyre ***** gorgeous, youre right. We never see that in LA.
Mary smiled, hearing the intoxication in Tinas voice.
You know Tina, I want to apologize because I think I walked in at an awkward moment tonight.
Oh, no dont worry. Tina waved her arm.
Well, I didnt mean to intrude on a personal moment.
Its OK, you didnt know.
Mary decided to pursue the issue. Did it have anything to do with the transition you told me you were in?
Huh? Umm yeah.
At another time, a sober time, Tina probably wouldve let the matter rest, but now it was in the forefront of her mind and the words began to flow.
Bette wants to get back together, but I, I dont know. She sent the flowers. She likes to send flowers to apologize.
Hmmso you two broke up?
Tina looked at the ground. She cheated on me and I left. After she said it, she stopped walking and looked straight ahead.
It sounds simple, She started to shake her head. Its not simple, its not simple. Tears welled up in Tinas eyes.
Just then Lobo lunged at something in the underbrush along the side of the road and yanked Tinas arm, pulling her off balance and causing her to fall onto her right knee. The dog pulled the leash off her hand and ran off.
Ow *****! Tina was gripping her shoulder and she started to cry.
Mary bent down to her. Tina are you alright?
Tina put her hand up to her face. She couldnt speak for a moment. Its been a bad night.
I know, Mary said gently. Let me help you up. She fished a tissue out of her pocket and handed it to Tina. Tina wiped her eyes and nose. Marys right hand was on her back and she held out her left hand. Tina took it and stood up. Mary released her hand and put her arm around Tina and surrounded her in an embrace. Tina was surprised and yet, it was comforting and she let herself be held. At last she pulled away and said softly, thanks.
Dont mention it. I better go find the dog.
Tina stood in the road. God, Im a ***** mess, she thought. She began to walk forward and soon met Mary and Lobo coming back to find her. The dog trotted happily to greet her. Tina reached down to him. Hey pal, dont do that again, OK?
Does your shoulder hurt? Mary asked.
A little – its OK.
They finished the short walk to Marys house in silence. When they got to the door of the house, Mary offered to keep the dog overnight.
Nah, Ill be OK. Ill just pay attention this time.
Are you sure?
Tina nodded.
Ok, then Ill give you this, Mary said, raising her hand that held the leash.
Tina put her hand out. Mary put the leash in Tinas hand and didnt let go. She brought her other hand to Tinas and pulled it toward her. Tina, Tina turned just slightly and was face to face with Mary, much closer than she expected. Mary looked into her eyes. I dont know Bette, but I know she made a big mistake. Tinas mind was fuzzy. She wanted to say something but didnt know what. She was suspended and the space between them got smaller and smaller and then she felt Marys lips on hers.