Tinas breaths were shallow and her eyes were riveted to the page.

When I fell in love with you Tina, I changed forever. The passion that I had always felt for art I suddenly felt for another person: you. Your love for me made me feel open, awake and alive. It was exhilarating, freeing and joyful beyond anything I could have imagined.
My love for you made me kinder and more compassionate. You made me live for something larger than myself. Together our love was passionate and powerful.

Tinas right hand rose up to cover her mouth and her eyes began to sting.

The night you told me you were pregnant I was so happy, so incredibly happy. We both were. I felt so close to you then. When you were pregnant it seemed to me that all that was true and beautiful about us was growing there inside you.

Tears filled Tinas eyes.

The thought of having a baby also scared me. I was afraid that I would not be able to provide for you and the baby, especially if I took a risk and lost my job. I began to question my feelings and myself, but I didnt tell you because I thought it would pass.
After the miscarriage I felt helpless and sad. I knew you were devastated and I tried to be strong for you and strong at work. Then things got complicated and nasty at work and, I guess I lost my way. Its no excuse, but its the best explanation I have.

Tina pressed the letter against her chest and closed her eyes. The words were blurry on the page. She needed to breathe. She tried to breathe. The dog came to her in response to the noises she was making. He nudged her arm. She put her hand on his head and opened her eyes to look at him. She petted him for a few moments to calm down. Then she returned to the letter.

The loss of our baby and the love we knew is the greatest pain I have ever known. I violated our trust and hurt you deeply, and I regret that every minute of every day that I have lived without you. I miss you so much.
All I wish for T, is to see you and to talk to you. I want a chance to make things better between us. If that chance never comes – a thought I cannot bear – I want you to know what you have meant to me.
You will never leave my heart.
I Love You,
Bette

Tears were flowing freely down Tinas face. Part of her could not believe what she was holding and what she had read. She returned to the top of the page and re-read every word. For a few minutes, there was nothing to see but written words on the page, nothing to hear but a heartbeat and shallow breathing, and nothing to feel but love and an ache of loss.