Tina was back in the living room after a shower and a change of clothes. She was holding her cell phone and pacing back and forth. Lobo the dog was lying on the floor following her steps with his eyes. She had gone over all the options in the shower, sometimes speaking aloud and gesturing. Bettes letter arrived unbidden and unexpectedly to pull her from her latest bout of sadness and present a new roadmap. Her hearts compass read North. North toward Bette. Toward an old love in a new place. A chance to talk or fight without pressures from home but also without the supports there. To re-connect or sever their ties.
Her minds compass read West. West toward LA. Toward familiar surroundings and the comfort of friends. The discomfort of Alices couch. Back to important work at the Center. Eventual contact with Bette.
She chose her route, now all that was left to know was what to say. She was nervous, which seemed odd, because she knew Bette so well. But they had never been here in this place before. She sat down and stood up again. She took a deep breath, exhaled and dialed the phone.
It rang once.
Tina? Bettes voice sounded tense.
Yeah, hi.
Bettes heart beat faster. The moment had arrived. Tina was calling her.
Hi, how are you? Bette said quickly.
Good. Um, your letter came this morning.
Bette bit her lip. She waited.
Sudden emotion came over Tina; she couldnt say the truest words, the words that were surging up from her heart. She swallowed hard and said, I was surprised. Youve never written me a letter – any letter.
Bette was silent. She felt like she was sitting on the edge of a cliff waiting to tumble over into the emptiness.
Tina went on. I remember that morning and that breakfast, but I had no idea that you did. In that way. And, um, Tina felt overwhelmed by self-consciousness. ***** she thought.
They both started to speak at once.
Tina said, Sorry, go ahead.
No, Tina, you go.
Tina thought for a moment about the letter, about Bette writing it. Then she said, It was beautiful. Tears began to form in her eyes.
Bette felt tears of her own. She said softly, Its all true.
Both of them were silent, taking in the emotion from the other. Then Tina remembered something.
Bette, why are you in Taos?
Bette was startled by the sudden change of tone and subject.
Oh – uh – I really wanted to get away for awhile and I found a nice place here with a spa.
Hmmm. There are lots of nice places in California.
Yeah, thats true.
So? Tina asked, drawing out the word to emphasize the question.
Bette looked around her as if there would be an answer in the air.
So, you werent in California.
A small smile formed on Tinas lips.
Its two hours away, Tina said.
I know. Bettes conversation with Alice was fresh in her memory and her desire to see Tina was strong. I would really like the chance to talk to you, Tina. And I could come down there if that would be OK with you.
No, Id rather come up there.
Bette was surprised and delighted by Tinas response. She liked the decisiveness in her voice, too.
That would be great. Id love that.
Ok. Tina was smiling now. But Bette, it just means I want to talk, it doesnt mean all is forgiven and Im ready to be together again.
I know, I know.
And if I stay we need to work out some sleeping arrangements.
Bette rolled her eyes and thought, Why dont we see how it goes. She said: No problem. Ill have them bring in a rollaway bed and I can sleep on that.
No, Ill sleep there. Its your vacation.
Whatever well work it out when you get here. When do you want to come?
Well, do you have plans today?
Are you kidding? Bette smiled. If youre coming today, thats my plan.
Ok, ok. Ill call you when Im gonna leave.
Ok, ok. Thats great, its just great Tina.
Ill talk to you later then.
Talk to you later, bye.
Bette closed her phone. She was smiling. The conversation had gone so well. The uncertainty and jealousy and anger that had been plaguing her minutes before was gone. In its place was hope and plans. Tina was coming, and she needed to get ready. She stood up and walked briskly toward her hotel.