Bette drove for a long time. She couldnt go home, she couldnt go anywhere. She tried not to think about what happened with Candace, but it played over and over in her head and made her stomach churn. The painful experience of the night had made one thing clear: her desire for Candace was gone. The heat that she had felt only last week was nothing now. She had felt the twinges of doubt right when she arrived at Candaces house, why didnt she listen to them?
As she drove she felt more and more like a lost soul. She hated the self pity that implied, but she couldnt deny the self-hatred she felt. Shed lost her sense of self somewhere between the tremendous professional success and the devastating personal loss. She needed to talk to someone who knew her.
Twenty minutes later she was sitting on the couch in Kits living room.
Bette inhaled deeply, I made a mistake.
Kit pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow. Does the mistake start with C?
Bette nodded and looked down at the floor.
Oh baby girl Kits voice trailed off. Look at me for a minute and tell me something. Is
that where your heart is?
Bette looked up and into her sisters eyes, No.
Then quit going there, because youre just hurting yourself.
Tears formed in Bettes eyes.
Kit put her arm around her sister. You look like you lived a lifetime in a day. You need some sleep.
I dont want to go home.
Then youll stay here.
Thanks.
Kit gave Bette a squeeze before she stood up and left the room. She returned a minute later with a pillow and a blanket that she put on the couch next to Bette.
This fits me just right, so it should be nice and roomy for you to sleep in, Kit said as she tossed a t-shirt onto Bettes lap, eliciting a smile from her sister for the first time.
Kit didnt move. What about Tina?
Bette looked down at the floor. I dont know, she said softly.
You dont know? Have you talked to her?
Once, on the phone.
And?
And shes angrywe
Thats not news, Kit said.
Bette sighed, too tired to comment.
You need to go see her and talk to her.
I cant, shes in New Mexico.
New Mexico?
Her mothers.
Oh, Kit took a deep breath. Well then, youre just gonna have to do some long-distance apologizing. Youve got a lot of making up to do. And you gotta get your ***** together. You gotta figure out why you went chasing some piece of *****
Bette held up her hand, Enough!
Kit was ready with more, but she could see that Bette was down and defeated, and she let it go.
Ok, ok. Go to sleep now. Ill preach tomorrow.
Bette gave her sister a look and then a small smile.
Kit left the room and Bette heard the water running in the bathroom.
Suddenly she heard her sisters voice reverberating behind the wall, You know what?
Kit popped back into the room, toothbrush in hand, and foam at the edges of her mouth.
You need a vacation! You need to get away – get out of LA for a while and get your self together.
I cant leave now with the exhibit and..
Oh, bull *****. You saved that place – you put it on the map. They can give you a week or two off.
Bette was still shaking her head as Kit left the room once again. Just think about it.
Where would I go? Bette said quietly.
Kits voice came rolling down the hall, I hear the Southwest is nice this time of year.