“Great. So what’s the plan?”

“I don’t know yet. But at least if we are already out there, it will be that much easier to figure it out.”

“Thanks, Shane. I really appreciate it.”

“Don’t thank me, Dana. I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing it for Alice. You are going to have to figure out later how to make this right with Alice. It’s none of my business, but you hurt my friend and that’s going to take some time to get past.”

Dana hung up the phone thankful for Shane, but generally dejected. She knew Shane was right. She knew that she needed to pull herself out of this self-loathing phase she was knee deep in, but she truly loathed herself. Earlier she had a surge of self-confidence, ready to fight the good fight to make things right with Alice. Somehow the couple of hours alone in the hotel room allowed her too much time in her own head, too much time to reflect on her mistakes.

For as thankful as she was to of been loved by Alice for all of these years, she has never quite understood it. She had never really gotten it. Alice could have anyone and Dana saw herself as average at best. For years, she has learned to appreciate it even if she didn’t really understand it. Seriously, how could she not appreciate it? But then there was one day, one really bad day, a day when she saw that her career was well and truly past its prime. The only thing she was ever good at, the only thing that she believed gave her something that made her more than just average was going away. When Michelle hit on her, she saw it as an act of salvation. This young, attractive woman found her attractive and in that moment, Dana needed to feel it.

Of course looking at it now, Dana realized that she though she needed the validation, she never needed to act. She has questioned herself countless times and has never come up with a satisfactory answer, but in all reality, she knew she never would. It was a moment of weakness that has cost her the love of her life. After hearing Shane berate her, she knew that she needed to try to find her strength and at least make sure Alice was safe. At this point, the idea of salvaging the relationship was beyond her comprehension, but Shane was right, this was all her fault and she needed to find a way to fix it. She just wasn’t sure where the heck to start.