Dana sighed. That was more like it. She needed that. Needed to remember
what was important. It was so easy to get side-tracked and panic about
the fact that her heart was open to being hurt again. And hurt bad. But
what was the price? She would be able to love Alice with her whole
heart. No part of her hiding in fear. No part of her holding back in
doubt. No part of her cringing that she couldn’t be better for her. She
finally had someone she could give 100% of her trust to. Everyone else
before Alice, even in their “family” of friends, just couldn’t get past
the 99% mark. Dana had always felt like she had something to hide. But
not with Alice. No, definitely not with her Alice.

Yup, she felt better, still disconcerted, but a little more hopeful.
Realizing that she was still looking at Shane’s shirt, Dana felt she
must’ve been waiting for her to say something, so she spoke about the
first thing that came to mind –Alice.

“It’s the strangest thing, Shane. The more I fall in love with her, the
more afraid I get. How fucked up is that?!” Dana said quietly, the
inflection in her voice sounded more pained than bitter.

Shane leaned forward on the couch. She knew all too well what Dana
fought with internally. She also knew what it felt like to lose the
fight. “Dane, that’s… thats not strange at all. Kinda tragic, maybe,
but not strange. Just look at the bright side: you get to love Alice,
you get to have the real deal.” Shane lowered her head and lent all her
attention to fiddling with the bottle opener on her keychain. She
didnt want to have to look Dana in the eyes, thinking that her friend
would know something was up if she saw the pain there. It was the wrong
thing she couldve picked as a distraction though, because it only
reminded her of Carmen.

…

The night before, the deejay had made a big deal of it when she found
out that Shane had never owned a bottle opener. Carmen said she found
it funny that Shane, who drank incessantly, would not have such a
staple item on her keychain.

I just never got around to getting one, I guess. Shane explained,
unsure why she was actually explaining all this and now, also unsure
why she actually didnt have a bottle opener. And, well, I guess…
maybe because other girls would always buy or get me my drinks for
me…? she replied, unsure if that would be a satisfactory
explanation. Carmen had dropped it after that and Shane thought the
moment had passed.