And what Carmen said really did make sense to her, but for some reason
Dana felt apprehensive about this whole loving-Alice thing. There was
so much for her to lose. So much for her to be hurt by. So much for her
to be honest about. And for some reason, knowing there was so much at
stake, Dana felt whiney… and whine she did.

But… I feel so scared about it! How can I feel this way about her
and feel so scared shitless at the same time?! And-and-and Alice… how
can she be so confident about all this? …she risks so much, too, but
it doesn’t phase her… and me? About the only place I can be confident
is on a tennis court! No, and everywhere else in life, I worry about
all the problems, having to risk my heart again, worrying that it won’t
work out, imagining all the arguments we could have, all the
insecurities I can already feel… but the weird thing, you know what
the weird thing is…? When I’m with her, when she touches me, when she
looks at me… for a split second, I can’t remember all that… I
just… feel her. Shane and Carmen just sat there, dumbfounded by
Dana’s whiney outburst, mistakenly thinking for a moment that she was
finished.

She wasn’t. But then I remember all the problems! All the negative
stuff, and I’m back to being scared-shitless-Dana again! Flustered to
the point of poofyness, Dana buried her head in her hands.

Since Shane still looked dumbfounded and seemed like she had no idea
what to do, Carmen was left to do something to comfort her. She got up
and sat on the chair beside Dana’s, gently stroking the tennis player’s
muscled back and speaking to her in soothing tones. Dana… it’s-it’s
okay. We all get that way… some of us just hide it better than
others. Carmen made sure not to look anywhere near Shane at all,
knowing that if she did, she was sure to lose her composure. She knew
she had to talk to Shane about what she was feeling soon, but felt that
they should at least help Dana and Alice first. They can’t ALL have
messed up love lives, now, can they!

Listen, Dana… can I give you a bit of advice? Take your time. Find
the time when you are ready. And when you find your moment, tell her.
When you can’t remember all the problems, the risks, the reasons why
it could not work, the future arguments, the insecurities… when you
can’t remember any of that *****, tell her… BUT, before you tell her,
just take a split second and let yourself remember all the *****, and
decide, while you feel everything for her and while you fear everything
else, whether she’s still worth it.”