Chapter 31

            Bette sat near Rosanna on the couch and felt a loss for words.  She didn’t know where to begin. 

            Seeing her struggle Rosanna prompted her.  “Just talk to me honey; I can see that you are going through something.”

            Bette sighed “Have you ever had a perfect love?”

            “Depends on what you mean by perfect.”  Rosanna responded slowly. 

            “Do you think that there can be someone whose love just seems to fit you perfectly?  I mean you have your ups and downs but the love is indescribable, it fills you like nothing else ever did. There is a love there that nothing can touch.”

            “Yeah, I know the kind of love you are talking about.”

            Bette looked at her quickly.  She felt a tinge of jealousy that Rosanna felt that for someone else.  “It doesn’t happen often; at least it never happened to me before Tina.”

            Rosanna took a sharp breath while she felt her stomach drop.  The tension she witnessed earlier, Bette’s odd mood the past few days all made sense now. 

            Bette continued.  “Tina left Henry, she’s asking me to try again and that has thrown me for a loop.”

            “I can imagine.  What do you want?”  As painful as it would be Rosanna found she needed to hear it. 

            “I don’t know.”

            “You do know, just say it.” 

            “I want that perfect love back.  I want the family that Tina and I dreamed of and created.  I want the hurt and pain that I caused and the one that I feel to heal.” 

            “So you want to try again with Tina.”  Rosanna nodded slowly trying to maintain her composure.  Bette was in enough turmoil and did not need her adding to it.

            “Yes. I do. It’s not so…”

            “I’m a big girl Bette; you don’t need to let me down easy.  I knew from the start that you were still in love with Tina and once I met her I told you that I could see that she is still in love with you.”

            “I did not say that I was still in love with Tina.” Bette protested.

            “You were resigned to the “fact” that you could not be with her, there is a difference.  Now you can.”  Rosanna was ready to leave now.  There was nothing left to say at least nothing that could make any difference given the circumstances. 

            “I didn’t think it was possible that I could fall in love again.” Bette hesitated before continuing.  “It sounds adolescent I know but that’s the truth.”

            “It’s not adolescent, not the kind of love that you are talking about” Rosanna said with some anger. “It’s quite rare and needs to be cherished.”

            “Don’t you think I know that?”  Bette’s own anger was rising. 

            “Then act like it and go to your woman!”  Rosanna bit out. 

            “I can’t.”  Bette said. 

            “You aren’t making any sense.”

            “I didn’t think I could fall in love again but I did with you.”

            “What?”

This old love has me bound

But the new love cuts deep

If I choose now

I’ll lose out

One of you has to fall

And I need you

And you….

                        Weakness in Me – Joan Armatrading