Okay, well go get Kyle and then Ill come back for you, okay?

Sure.

Okay. Im so glad youre coming. And Im glad youre allright!

I reflect on this as I quickly shower and pack a bag for a day. I am most certainly not all right, but its good that Alice thinks so. It will keep her journalistic instincts from nitpicking the sitch between Shane and myself, I think as I braid my hair in two long braids. Today is going to be hot, and I select shorts and a tank top with hiking boots.

I fix myself some fruit and a croissant and sit on the front porch, waiting for the van to come back. Every time I think that Ill be seeing Shane, my heart pounds and I feel like I really do have a stomach bug. I wonder if shell bail at the last minute, just to avoid seeing me. Maybe the van will come back without her in it.

I idly page through a David Sedaris novel, but I cant concentrate on it. When the van pulls back into my driveway I shove the book back into my backpack, and walk, it feels, to my doom.

A handsome guy gets out of the passenger seat and smiles at me. Hey, he says.

Hey.

Bette says you get to ride shotgun.

Oh. Okay.

Im Kyle.

I figured, I smile. Im Darah, nice to meet you.

I step up into the van, swallowing. Bette smiles at me from the drivers seat. “Hey,” I say. I think of how Ive judged her, and now Im really no better. I wonder if the pounding of my heart is visible. I turn around and face my friends.

Hey, guys.

They all say hello, smiling as if nothings happened.

Shane is sitting in the back row of the van. She looks so goddamn beautiful it tears my heart out, even if shes wearing shades that hide her eyes. I remember the taste of her, tied under me. I cant look at her for more than a second, and I hope she doesnt take it the wrong way.

I turn around, feeling tears rising to my eyes. I want to be like Shane and put my own shades on, but I dont. I dont know why.