“Right. So you were a really fat, really butch diva, and finally the Moldavian King-”

“Edgar.”

“King Edgar the fourteenth, of Moldavia. Right. So King Edgar said ‘*****, you’re making me crazy, all up in here demanding hot chocolate with marshmallows, insisting on having a double shot first thing in the morning and all these fancy embroidered gowns.’”

She actually giggles. Well, a very deep laugh. A chuckle. That would almost be a giggle if it were in a higher register. I start the car and back out.

“Actually, Darah, it was the unicorns I insisted on.”

“Right. Unicorns.”

“Yeah. So, Ed was a tired old queen, so after the chemistry set incident he banished me to the stables.”

“Where you promply went through all the livery wenches.”

“I thought a wench was a waitress.”

“Whatever. I’m just guessing you got a lot of ***** in the stable.” I back out of the parking space.

“Well, yeah,” she says, as if it’s obvious.

“Right. So I’m guessing after you fucked your last… stable…chick, you said ‘***** this, I’m going to L.A.’”

“Right.”

“Right. Lots of ***** in L.A. So out you came, riding out of Moldavia on your trusty pink unicorn-”

“Sparky.”

“-Sparky.”

“That is correct.” She nods, so damn cute. I can’t stop laughing.

I pull up to the gate and fumble for my parking pass. I can’t find it, and I’m laughing so hard that the woman in the booth is staring at me. *****. She must think we’re high, because Shane is laughing too.

Finally I find my pass on the center console and I hand it to her. She scans it boredly and hands it back. I glance over at Shane, reach for my ID, and accidentally grab one of the three-inch orange nails of the lot attendant. “Sorry,” I say, promptly letting go, dropping my card. Shane is laughing so hard she’s doubled up in the passenger seat, hand over her face, just shaking with it.

“Shut up Sparky,” I say to her, the minute my window is rolled up. She laughs quietly all the way to my place.

I let us in, drop my purse by the door, and take off my scrub top. She follows me upstairs. I’m aware that she’s looking at my naked flesh.