Bette took a long, deep breath looked Tina in th face and said “She came back into the club, and she danced. She danced like there was nothing wrong, she danced in her own world for the whole night. Lena drove us home and…”

…………………………

“Oh so what Bette you want me to apologize for hurting your feelings. You want me to be sorry for being me, again. Well I cant. I cant be sorry for being me anymore.”

” Well if thats you then…” Bette trailed off trying to find the words that were lost in the rum that filled her brain. “Are you at least…”

“No! Whatever you want and whatever you need I cant give you!”

“I never asked for anything, except honesty! All I ever wanted from you was the truth! Lying to my face is something I cant stand for, and I wont.” Bette gathered her thoughts and stumbled towards the door when Alicia came round and threw her hand across it.

“Please dont leave tonight, I dont think I can be by myself tonight.” Alicias eyes were pleading and begging for Bettes rationality. As much as she wanted to leave; she couldnt. Bette needed to be held and so did she. She stayed, she held her all night, they slept as though there was no damage to them at all.

Bette woke up in the middle of night like she would always do when she was in Cuba. The same nightmare as usual ending with the sound of the gunshot reverberating through the room when Mel killed himself. When she first started dating Alicia she would wake up in cold sweats crying and Alicia would wake up and hold her until she went back to sleep. She lulled the fear away and made her feel safe again. But somewhere along the way she just quit caring enough to even rollover and acknowledge her fear. Bette just attributed it to being a new parent, but now she realized that she just wanted to keep her in pain one way or the other.

The next morning Alicia woke to the sound of the curtains snapping in the room the wind caressing the pages of an open book. And Bette was gone. She walked to the back door to see the top of Bettes head resting against the back of a chair. Watching the sun come up over Mels grave. Gaining some sort of prospective on her relationship. Watching the sun grace her day was always helpful in her thought process. She walked over to her and stood by her not knowing what to say. She knew she had hurt Bette many times before, but never like this. Bettes next reaction was one she thought she never wouldve heard.

“I want you outta my house. I love Melito and Ill always be his auntie, but I dont want anything to do with you anymore. I don t wanna live… I cant live like this anymore.” Alicias body froze and she couldnt find the words to say what she thought would bring Bette back to her. She didnt know that there were no words, no amount of tears, and definitely no amount begging that was ever going to bring Bette back to her again. Bette had, had her share of hurt and games, it was over.

Bette stood up grabbed her glass of orange juice and looked at Alicias eyes and said “I dont like who I am when Im around you. I hate myself for being with you.” With her final statement Bette headed into the house leaving Alicia standing there completely confused as to how she ever hurt someone so wonderful as Bette. At that very moment she knew there was no way she could ever apologize for the wrong and mean spirited things she purposely put Bette through.

………………………….

“Baby I remember you telling me that there was two things you cant stand for. Cheating and domestic violence. Well baby there are a few principles I stand on as well, I cant go for lying. Lies… If anything I would rather have the truth, even if it hurts. I never lied to you Tina, and I never will.” Bette finished fighting back the tears that threatened her all throughout her story.

“Im sorry baby. Im sorry that your heart got broken like that.”Tina took hold of Bette, embraced her and let her cry for all the times she wanted to but couldnt. That night Tina laid her down and hugged her all night creating a loving and warm place for her to find comfort in. Tina knew that anyone who hurt Bette as bad as she did could never be given a second chance to do it again. All Tinas fears and insecurities about Alicia and Bette were laid to rest that night.

TBC………….