We made small talk for the first part of our dinner. Talking about school, and graduation and college. She was happy that I’d still be in L.A. for college. I told her of my ambitions of being a film maker. And she told me of her dreams of one day owning her own gallery, maybe opening multiple galleries. Her passion for art is infectious, I believed her and I knew that she would.

"What is it Tina?"

"Nothing," I said, trying to avoid her curious eyes.

"Come on, you seem perplexed."

"Why me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you choose me? You’re older than me, you obviously get anyone you want and you’re absolutely beautiful. But why me? I’m just this girl with nothing to offer you."

I sat back and crossed my arms. What did she see in me? I was just this eighteen year old girl, what does she want with me? My insecurites kept me from believing she wanted me for me, but I knew her. Player, womanizer, how could she want me? She answered quickly and without much thought.

"Ever since I’ve met you, everything has changed. Something inside me changed. I tried being myself, I tried doing the things I’d always done. But they left me empty. Every woman I talked to, kissed, slept with left me with a since of guilt, like I was cheating on you."

"That’s silly," I replied, feeling jealous of those women.

"It’s not. If you always do what you’ve always done, then you’ll always get what you always got, and while what I got had its perks, I’m looking for something different now."

"Different?"

"Yes."

"How so," I asked, swallowing hard. I didn’t know if I wanted to hear the response.

"This conversation is getting a little too serious for a first date."

"Come on Bette, isn’t that what dates are for? Getting to know one another?"

"You’re right," she said smiling.

"So? Explain different."

"Well, I’d like to settle down. Plant some roots and get married and have children someday."

"Oh," I said feeling some pressure.

"It’s ok Tee, I’m not looking to u-haul anytime soon, ok?"

"U-haul?"

"Yeah, u-hauiling," she said and I looked at her puzzled.

"You don’t know what u-hauling is," she asked and I shook my head, "it’s an old joke, what do lesbians bring on the second date? A u-haul."