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    Fallen – Chapter 2: Heaven Bend (Revised May, 2004)

    The scene was so similar to the night before; Bette pressed into Tina’s back, holding on. But today was different.

    Tina made no move to leave Bette’s semi-embrace. But she stiffened slightly.

    “Please…” Bette whispered into Tina’s hair.

    “How long?” Tina asked.

    “Just about a month, I met her the night Kit performed. I didn’t know her before that.”

    “You fucked her that night?” She tried to turn but Bette kept her still, pushing her head into her neck.

    “NO… NO… I mean I didn’t know her before that. It wasn’t until recently…”

    “Was it just once?” Tina held her breath, she waited for the answer. She prayed it was just once, as if it would somehow make it better.

    “No.”

    She exhaled. “How many?”

    “Tina…” Bette’s eyes began to tear up. “Why?”

    “How… many… times?”

    “Twice…” Bette rubbed her forehead slightly on Tina’s neck. Trying to make sure Tina felt her. “No–three times.”

    “You break my heart, and you can’t even remember how many times you fucked her?”

    “No! I just want to be as honest as possible. It was really two times. But there was a conversation that I probably shouldn’t have had with anyone but you.”

    Tina didn’t ask. She didn’t want to know. She was silent for a few seconds until the she couldn’t hold in her tears anymore–she sobbed. Bette pressed herself tightly to Tina’s back, pushing her face into Tina’s hair as she also cried.

    “Why didn’t you just break up with me?”

    Bette knew what she would say next would be terrible to hear. But she had to be honest.

    “I thought about it, but I was so confused about what I wanted. I thought I wanted a family. I thought it would make us happy.”

    “But I lost the baby…”

    “No… It wasn’t your fault… it wasn’t that. I started having these panicked feelings before you even got pregnant. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything. Our relationship just isn’t the same anymore Tina. I don’t know why, but it isn’t.”

    Tina cried. Her eyes stung.

    “Tina, I want to make this better. I can’t be without you. I am a ***** idiot and I can’t believe it had to come to this before I realized it. But I am willing to do anything. Anything it takes.”

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