Tina laughed hard and Bette frowned her eyebrows, not really knowing what this was about. The blonde saw the look on her brunette lover’s face and smiled.

“When we first moved here – I was still convinced I was straight and so not over Pete – Shane was totally into you. She had seen you and she couldn’t stop talking about how damn hot you are. I always kept telling her she should try and have a relationship instead of going from woman to woman. First, she didn’t want to, it wasn’t in her nature, bla bla bla. Anyway, she decided she’d try. And she wanted to see if the two of you would work out.”

“Shane and me?” Bette asked, now laughing out loud. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Nope,” Shane said, stirring her coffee. “Tina had promised we’d go and say hello to you guys the second day and she drove me mad. She kept on delaying it – doing the dishes, having to use the bathroom – I knew she was teasing me. I was dying to meet you, tough. And of course – I should’ve known – you fell at my sisters’ feet.”

“I always keep the girls from her,” Tina said seriously. “I mean, Shane thinks she has a chance but when I show up, they’re all for me. You’re gonna have to live with it, Shaney.”

“Don’t call me that. Don’t make my life a living hell,” Shane said in a dramatic tone, throwing her arms in the air. “I’ve never experienced true love and it’s all your fault, Tina. I’m family! I’m your sister! Have you got no heart?” the skinny girl now whined.

They all laughed at this overacting banter between the sisters when Alice opened the door of The Planet, Dana next to her. Dana Fairbanks looked rather annoyed by Alice’s behaviour. Tina knew that Dana didn’t like Alice at all – nor did she like the fact that Alice was after her.

As the bouncy blonde reached the table, she burst out into song.

“I am Alice, I am cool
Hey you suckers, hide your drool
The only one to get my spanks
Is ms Dana Fairbanks!”

Alice beamed and Dana was mortified. “Seriously, Al, if you keep singing that song, I’m gonna break up with you.”