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Feelings… Chapter 12
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“Of course not! I absolutely had every intention of bringing all of that up, but so many other things were going on then…Daddy got sick, then those pricks set me up for failure at the CAC.”
“And?” Kit wearily shook her head as she started signing checks to pay The Planet’s bills.
“And what, Kit? What the hell was I supposed to do?”
“Stop thinking so much about yourself and work out things with your woman! Don’t you see that in all of this, you haven’t mentioned Tina once? You have so much tunnel vision, girl! If you really want this to work, you gotta stop thinking of that as your house, thinking about your problems and closing Tina out—isn’t that what got you in this mess in the first place? You shut down on her and looked for solace, or whatever, outside of your relationship—a relationship that meant the world to you for years! Then, you went and fucked it up because—“
“She shut down on me, Kit! There was nothing I could do to comfort her! I felt so helpless…”
“Well, what did you expect, girl? She’d lost a baby! You can’t even imagine what that feels like! And why do you think you always have to do something—can’t you just be there? Presence is powerful, Bette, but you always found something else to do than to be with your woman—to just sit there and let her feel you really, really with her! But you’ve got your patterns, too—I don’t deny my escape hatches over the years, and I know I contributed to your need for your own. Face it–when things get too hard for you, you bail, Baby Sis—I’ve seen it before, and I saw it happening then, too.”
“So why didn’t you stop me?”
“Could you stop me when I was being self-destructive? You have to make a decision to be different. Do you still love her?”
“Of course I do! Didn’t I work to try to get her back all that time? I even tried what Benjamin suggested, for God’s sake!”
“I guess my question is, are you still trying?”
“You know, before I left for that hearing in Washington, I told her twice that I would miss her. She didn’t say anything. All she could think about was that I was leaving on such short notice and we’d have to find childcare for Angelica for a third day. Then, when Senator Grisham hit on me while I was there, and I called Tina to tell her, she didn’t seem to care.
“Now, I find out that she’s been having cybersex with some guy! First, she lied and said it was part of some research. But then she came clean about it, and that’s when she admitted these feelings about men.
“Wow!”
“A few nights before that, I told her how out of control I felt about everything—that I was afraid I might not be able to adopt Angelica, that I was afraid we’d lose the house, that I might not find the job I want, and even that I wasn’t sure what was going on between us. That maybe all the transitions we’ve gone through in such a short time were causing me to feel insecure.”
“You told her all that, Bette? That’s a first! What did she say?”
“Nothing…she had fallen asleep.”
“Girl, if you wait to talk about that kind of heavy shit at night, she’s gonna fall asleep!” Kit shook her head in disbelief. “Sometimes, you prove that saying that common sense ain’t so common anymore!”
Bette was about to reply in defense of herself when she noticed someone knocking on the passenger window of her car.
TBC
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Great Update Sweetie………Kit a voice of reason………I really feel that they really, really need to finished this conversation. But then again this little alone time can be very helpful. They can think about what the other said and take heed to it. PLEASE DON’T TAKE TO LONG to post.And who is knocking on the window? Alice? Shane? Helena? or Candace?It better be TINA! ILU
This was really well written. Excellent dialogue. Please post sooner b/c it is such a good story and you’ve been missed.
Verrrrry nice update, Arr. Quite authentic as always. Ok, I’m considering dusting off my FFA card. Let me echo, PPS.
I haven’t commented in awhile but I gotta come out of hiding and say great update and well worth the wait.Thank goodness for Kit is right Probie.It better be Tina at the door.
Great chapter, nice to see Kit keeping her cool and making sense:-)And I am still chuckling from your nick name for Candace – ‘hammer girl’, its up there with ‘butter boy’ ;-)
I hope its Tina banging on the car window….tunnel vision is such a male thing maybe being raised by her daddy Bette has real issues seeing a woman’s point of view…Great Great chapter PPS
Great story. I’m so glad Bette has Kit. .She has such a great ability to diminish Bette’s feelings and place most of the blame on Bette for Tina/Bette relationship problems. I’m curious are you going to make Tina come clean about her flirtation with Josh in this story? I really enjoy your writing and hope to see the story continued.
Who is that knock on the door, hope is Tina or Shane. Ok post soon please, thanks!
Hopefully it is Tina knocking on the window but my luck it is Shane or someone else. Thank goodness that Kit knows her sister and can be the voice of reason for her. Both are so messed up that they probably need a third party to get them to sit down and discuss all of their problems. Maybe Kit or Shane if they do not want to go to a therapist.
O.o I thought I had read this. Apparently I didn’t. :( I’m not sure throwing Bette out was the best thing for Tina to do, though it did lead to Bette calling Kit and getting a verbal kick in the ass from her.
I absolutely love this fic and I was wondering if you were going to finish it? I hope so!!!
I’m sorry…it’s been sooo long i had to re-read the previous chapters!! LOL Kidding!! Alright Arr…now while I agree with some of what Kit said…The moment Tina left Bette, and then asked to come back, puts forth thte fact that, the house is Bette’s. Tina thought it was amusing..that’s just downright rude. And although that Kit is right about some of her observations, we know that Bette tried talking with Tina when she was back. She tried to instigate chats with comparisons to books, and other ways, but TIna just shut her down. Maybe if Bette went on line and posed as a man Tina would have been more willing to talk with her! LOL That’s funny i should write that fic!!
Thank goodness for Kit. Hope Bette learns a few things from her sister’s experience. Great update even if it did take a long time.
yea, great update…lets just hope we don’t have to wait to see who came a knockin’.. ;)PPS!
Great update, as usual, Arr. I was definitely starting to miss your wonderful insight. I really appreciate the great time and effort you put into trying to fix our favourite couple . Can’t wait for your next chapter !
Kit is a very wise woman, in a relationship there is not only “I”, there need to be some “I” otherwise you lose your identity but the mayor part is about “We”. And certainly not how it became between Bette and Tina, meaning “You”. Don’t ever blame the the other for what’s going on, blame “We”. Everyone is vulnarable and everyone can make mistakes that only makes us human. Another great chapter arkaycee with a huge cliffhanger…it’s time that you take the time to write to next chapter. Ok, I’m in no position to say that but I think with me many others are waiting impatiently for you to continue. Get your sh!t together and write the next one NOW :-)