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Feelings… Chapter 4
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“I understand, Tina, that your feelings might have been hurt—“
“Were hurt, Bette…and you made me feel so inadequate. Then, you seemed more annoyed than anything when you came home early from New York when Marcus’ crazy girlfriend was harassing me. I know Peggy’s party was a big deal for you, Bette, but you looked so resentful when you got home instead of relieved that I was okay.”
Bette shifted uncomfortably in her seat, remembering that she had turned off her phone in New York. She flashed back to the delightful conversation she had with the black woman who referred to her as “the sista that snatched the show out from under MOCA’s nose”, guiltily remembering feeling an attraction to her—much stronger than what she had felt for anyone in years who wasn’t her partner…
Tina noticed Bette’s distraction and wanted to question it, but she just pressed on, realizing that she was about to falter. She had so much to say, and she didn’t want all these things rattling around in her head anymore. “The girls told us how boring we had become, but later, I told you I thought of you as one of the most exciting women in L.A. I was sad when didn’t see the delight in your eyes that normally comes after I say something like that to you. It just seemed, Bette, like nothing I was doing was right—that your mind was always somewhere else.”
“Well, Tina,” as Bette regrouped herself, “there were times I wasn’t sure where I fit in anymore! Think about it— You decided we needed to go to therapy and picked the one we went to without talking to me about it. You decided to buy the birthing tank—again, without consulting me. Tina, I was the last person to find out you were pregnant!
“You told Kit about Melvin being in town, and it was bad timing because I don’t think she was ready for that—“
“And speaking of your father, “Tina interrupted, ”that man never respected me or our relationship, Bette, and you never once confronted him about that for years! Did he take issue with my whiteness? And were you getting tired of it, Bette? Is that what drew you to…to that carpenter woman?”
Bette drew in a deep breath. Not long ago, Tina had angrily asked what happened between them, and she really didn’t want to discuss the specifics. In hindsight, she felt so ashamed. She thought she had dodged the bullet, but here it was again.
“Tina…please…the past is the past. Please don’t—“
“Dammit, Bette! I want to know! Maybe it’s morbid curiousity, but I need you to tell me what it was about her that was so intoxicating that you decided to go after her! You owe me, Bette! That you would do that me was so devastating. After all our time together, how could you cheat on me? The only thing that makes sense is that you were tired of me. Is that true?”
Bette understood she was going to have to talk about this. She had tried to shove it all to the back of her mind, but Tina was forcing her hand. Now, she had no choice, but she didn’t know where to begin. Bette didn’t want to look at Tina—recalling all that transpired was so shameful in hindsight. After smugly singing the praises of monogamy, after telling Marina how wrong her pursuit of Jenny was, she felt like such a hypocrite. And the woman whose trust she had betrayed was waiting for the details. She swallowed hard.
“I’ll make this a little easier for you, Bette—I’ll just ask you the questions. And if you have any regard for me at all, you will tell me the truth.”
Bette sat there, her stare fixed straight ahead. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Ultimately, she just shook her head in assent.
“When did it start, Bette? Did you first fuck her while I was in Palm Springs?”
TBC
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dizzam
WOW!!!! Tina went in for the kill. Bette just needs to tell her the truth abd be done with it. Thank you
If this had been brought forward in S2 then S3 would have been one of the top Season, instead they chose to not do any talking. thanks
Well i’ve been waiting for this chapter Arr. And finally,voila, it’s here. You know what?..i have a feeling S4(crossing my finger) is going to be like this. I believe Tina’s father or mother strayed in the relationship,causing Tina to be the way she is. I just love the fact that they’re finally talking about some of these things. Maybe,they might have a better undertstanding of where the other is coming from. I can’t wait to read the next chapp..because Tina sure does know how to ask questions. Love the dialogue.Post soon!
Baby only one page? Come on this is to good to end with one page. OK Tina has some issues that she needs to work on…..She really needs to talk to her parents and finally get the answers she needs. Now Bette needs to answer all of Tina’s questions….Bette’s stated that she has done everything to make it up to Tina but yet she doesnt answer her questions……What is Bette really afraid of? Please Post SOON!!
Tina has alot of questions but Bette should have some too. Alot of how Bette acted had to do with Tina’s actions. Tina was whiney and dependant in season 1. It seemed like sometime she purposely left Bette out of situations. She could have taken the pregnacy test when Bette got home. She didn’t have to get pissy when they were laughing at Sean’s Ze Pussy rant…when she did get mad she didn’t have to let it linger. She could have stayed in and talked when Bette came home early to spend time with her instead of working out. She could have said “Bette let’s sit down and pick a therapist together….I can go on and on. I don’t think Bette went after Candace because her skin was darker and she needed a change. Candace (the devil spawn she is) went after Bette when she was weak…even Alphas need love too. I don’t think there is a grand explanation to give besides the fact Bette thought she was super human a.k.a. super monogamous but realized she is only human. Love this story. Keep posting.
R – I’m really glad you’ve got them talking together. They should stop filtering their thoughts and just speak them. The past isn’t just the past – it needs to be talked about. The truth is that they both did wrong. They both made some terrible mistakes – but they did them separately. Now they need to start doing things together…make decisions together…talk through things together…tell each other what the were feeling back then, and how they are feeling now. It’s understandable that Tina can’t allow herself to be vulneralbe to Bette right now, but that doesn’t mean she’s having feelings for men. At least they have begun talking about it together. Keep them talking R and hopefully understanding will clear a path for them to fully find each other again.
this is going to be heavy
and now the ish hits the fan! it’s too bad these 2 havent spoken on the show, but I hope Bette tells Tina the truth. keep them talking it out, and I’m sure they will make it.
Just catching up. This is excellent! I am holding my breath (as is Bette) until we get the next post. Before we get started, please bring B some water, head gear, a mouth piece, chest protector, chin guards,…. Maybe she can record her responses and go finish up the rest of her meditation trip. What will she say? What won’t she say? So painful, yet so addictive.
I think a new writing star is born and her pen name is arkaycee. Please continue.
Damn girl that was good. Tina is finally voicing her concerns although a little late, and Bette is finally going to put into words what was going on in her head at that time.
OMG! I am so ashamed of myself. I asked you to please continue with this story and I didn’t even realize that you had until now. Turning all shades of red and begging your forgiveness. But I am now applauding you because this is so wonderful. This talk is one that we all have been waiting for, just please let them work things out. Oh and last Saturday not so great, but will still keep trying. Thanks and post again soon.
Damn this is so painful for them to talk about all of this and hope they will talk and work thing out not like in S3. OK post soon please, thanks! Glad to catch up with your story!!!!!!!!
This is so painful to read, and yet, somehow, I can’t seem to look away.
TBC?? ahh…I think you missing a couple of pages…really you can’t leave it there…and I understand breaking from Canon. Basically if you’re trying to work out a TiBette issue and you have the two of them communicting..well..it’s definately not cannon. Funny that huh? Now while I don’t agree with some of what you said here…I know that it’s you fic so you way…personally when Bette heard T’s Voice messages about fraking out while she was in New York and Bette hops the plane I was like why? Call Alice, Dana, Shane, hell even Tim…she attempted once to call Kit…I find that funny. That she hopped a plane. Instead of calling everyone she knew..cuz like it or not it was Bette’s job to stay in New York to get new or more donors..after all she might not have been in the pickle she was with Helena in S2 if she had…hidesight is great…hey? Oh well I still enjoyed this fic very much and think that you need to update very soon…after all it’s like you have people after you telling you, tickling you, and chasing you around with axes to start a NEW fic..hahahahaha
Ooooooo oooooooo! May I be the referee? They sure could use one.
It’s hard reading a story that brings you into the middle of someone else’s relationship shit…yet I had to keep reading, cause this was good, AND it’s Bette and Tina!! Thanks!
OMG! T is going for the kill… Okok the attack then… I know you have a TiBette heart and thats what makes this story genuinly intriguing for me because I know you will fix it at the end… I am curious what the answers will be and am thrilled with the courage you have to do this… its deep, its painfull but its needed! thank you for writing it! HUG!
actually i always thought bette shouldn’t have to rush back from NY, I thought Tina shoulda had a bit of backbone and when Bette got home and found what the issue was I thought she was incredulous but had a right to be resentful…I’m watching Devil in a blue dress…hard to see….sad stuff…and when I see that…I think Tina should had more hutzpah over Marcu’s girlfriend because thats nothing in comparison to what biracial people go thru hence Bette’s later desperation over Angel’s upbringing…
it is so hard to read all their anguish but u do it well PPS
Wooooo the girls are in a rude talk! it is so painful but i hope they will available to continue talking.
Very good Arkaycee. Even tackling the undiscussed racial issue that I think may have plaqued this relationship. Looking forward to seeing Bette’s answers.Yes I agree a new writing star is born
Fuck girl, I don’t know what this is, but you’re always seems to write what’s in my head. Tina needs to know why, she has every right to know why, she needs to know every detail I know that fur sure. I also know how hard it is for Bette to open up and tell her every single detail but she has to. It will be hard but they both need it, it’s the only way to find again a strong foundation for their relationship or in the wordt case to end it apparently. I’m off now for chapter five.