“I would want to re-open my gallery.”  Bette felt like a weight had lifted from her shoulders just by verbalizing her professional dream.  She had closed her gallery and taken the job at the CAC nearly five years ago because it too had offered greater financial security than her gallery, and she and Tina were talking about starting a family at some point.  Bette knew now that it was probably the worst decision she had made, other than Candace, of course.  She had never truly been happy at the CAC, and the stress of working for someone else, of giving up complete control in her professional world, had taken its toll on her personal life.  Thinking back, it was probably around the same time that she took the CAC job that she had started putting distance between herself and Tina.  It was when they essentially stopped having sex.  It was when all of their problems really began.  Bette made a mental note to talk to Dan Foxworthy about this revelation at their next session.  She tightened her hold on Tina’s waist, waiting for her response.

“Babe, if that’s what would make you happy, then that’s what you should do.  It’s what we should do.”  She was all too aware of the toll that Bette’s job at the CAC had taken on their relationship.  She was relieved that Bette didn’t really want the MOCA job, and that she was leaning in the direction of re-opening the gallery.

“I don’t know, Tee.  It’s such a risk.  I don’t know if I could support us, and we’d have to use some of the money we’ve invested for Angelica’s college and for retirement.  It’s just such a gamble.  I know I can find the artists, but the marketplace can just be such a bitch sometimes.  What if I can’t make lightening strike twice?”  Bette’s voice cracked as she listed off the reasons why she shouldn’t follow her dream for a second time.  Tina moved her right hand from Bette’s hair to her face and softly stroked Bette’s cheek, then traced the outline of her lips, twisting her upper body so she could look Bette in the eyes.

“I think it’s worth the risk, Bette.  I remember how much happier you were then, and how miserable you were at the CAC.  You know, your work stress really didn’t make things any easier on us.  I’d rather take the financial risk than lose you like that again.”  Tina held her breath, unsure of how Bette would react to the last part of her statement.  After another long pause, Bette responded, lifting her eyes to meet Tina’s.

“You’re right, Tee.  I was never happier than when I had my gallery, and when I had you.  I don’t want to repeat my mistakes by taking another museum job, but I’m just scared at the prospect of not being able to take care of you and Angelica.”  Tears started to form in Bette’s dark brown eyes. 

“You don’t have to bear all of that burden, Bette.  Right now I’m getting paid decently for my work at Social Justice.  And I can always go back to Alphaville if we need the money.  Please don’t place all of this pressure on yourself, Baby.”  Tina tried to soothe Bette, to reassure her.  She didn’t want to remind Bette that the only reason Oscar could pay her was because of their Peabody Foundation grant, and of the likelihood that they wouldn’t be getting another grant from Helena this summer. 

“I know you’re right, Tee.  About all of it.  I guess I just need to think about it some more.”  Bette let out another long, deep sigh as Tina turned back around and pressed her body tightly against Bette’s.

“I don’t know what there really is left to think about, Bette.  I think you need to stop being so damn proud and follow your heart.”  With that, Tina decided it was time to lighten the mood a little.  She disentangled herself from Bette’s arms, and walked to the pool, slowly descending the steps, and submerging herself in the perfect 78 degree water.  She swam under water and reappeared at the other end of the pool, the water reflecting the moonlight as it hit her golden locks.  Tina looked at Bette, who had watched Tina’s entry into the pool with great interest.  Tina raised her eyebrows, and called out to her wife.

“Aren’t you going to join me?”

(To Be Continued…)