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    First, Last, & Forever? (Version 2.0 – Chapter 17)

    Surprised by Bette’s advance, Tina pushed forward and grabbed the side of the pool, her mind flashing to when she was in a very similar position in a pool, not too long ago.  With Helena. Tina’s body wriggled as her brain fought against the unwanted memory, but Bette continued to generously pepper her back with kisses, now grabbing her waist, thinking the slight struggle was part of Tina’s game. Tina closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to rid Helena from her mind but all she saw was Helena wrapping her hands around her waist and breathing hot air on her ear as she kissed her on the back of her neck.  Tina regretted ever allowing those hands to touch her.

     

    Because she was behind Tina, focused on trailing kisses along Tina’s neck and shoulders, Bette was unable to see Tina’s expression.  She felt Tina’s body tense, and finally realized that Tina was no longer playing.  She immediately stopped, and gently brushed the hair from Tina’s face.

     

    “Baby, what’s wrong?  Are you okay?”  Bette asked, her voice laced with concern.

    “It’s nothing, Babe, keep going.” Tina said, her voice cracking. She didn’t want to ruin the moment with Bette or hurt Bette’s feelings.

     

    Bette placed her hands on Tina’s shoulders, guiding her to turn around.  Bette looked into Tina’s eyes and saw that she was most definitely not alright.  Bette traced her finger along the lines of Tina’s jaw, her eyes begging Tina to talk to her.

     

    “It doesn’t look like nothing, Tee.  Please, tell me what’s wrong.”  Bette tried to sound calm, but her voice betrayed her as her fears began to rise.

    “Bette, please, I don’t want you to stop.  It’s really nothing.” Tina said pleading, wanting Bette to continue, hoping to erase this haunting memory.  Bette looked away, unable to maintain eye contact with Tina.

     

    “Tee, if you can’t be honest with me, then we can’t do this.  I can’t make love with you when I feel like you’re holding something back from me.”  Bette shrugged, awaiting any indication that Tina would let her in.  When Tina stood silently, avoiding all eye contact, Bette started to retreat.  Tina reached out for Bette’s hand, keeping her from further distancing herself.  She looked up at Bette, but quickly looked down again at her hands, trying to figure out how to tell Bette.

     

    “I just was, I was just thinking about something.”  Tina said, letting out a soft sigh of frustration.

     

    “Baby, I’ve seen you preoccupied before, but this is different.”  Bette’s voice wavered as Tina looked up, seeing the concern and pain reflected in Bette’s dark brown eyes.  Knowing she could no longer hold back her secret from Bette, she softly confessed.

     

    “I was thinking about Helena.”

     

    (To Be Continued…)

    Page 5 of 512345

    Comments

    1. Oh No!! Surely she could have phrased it better than “I was thinking about Helena”! Talk about kicking Bette where it hurts! Can’t wait for the next post!

    2. Oh goodness, couldn’t she have phrased that better. That was definitely something Bette did not need to hear. Please don’t let them lose the mood entirely. Maybe tomorrow we will see Tina clear that up and save Bette’s heart.PPS

    3. Ouch! Well, there is honesty, and there is tact. This is a case where those two didn’t merge. But hey, this is real–sometimes, you have unwanted thoughts at the worst possible moment. The fact that Bette noticed is admirable, and I’m glad she decided to take care of herself rather than just proceed. That’s gonna be a hard conversation, so I can’t wait to see how you flesh it out! And where is “17 Reasons??!?!???

    4. Ohhh boy, that was certainly not the best way of sharing what’s on your mind there Tina. OUCH! in a very big way. I agree with Bette though, and respect her feelings of not proceeding any further, unless honesty is fully present. That’s an essential part of moving forward in the right way. Let them work it out okay Steph? : -)) Thanks for the post.

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