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    First, Last, & Forever? (Version 2.0 – Chapter 20)

    "Well, that’s complicated." Bette looked up into Tina’s eyes again, trying to make sure Tina understood she wasn’t trying to be difficult or to play games. Tina raised an eyebrow, confused and skeptical.

    "It doesn’t seem complicated, Bette. The last time I checked you weren’t Bill Clinton." Tina tried to force a smile at her feeble attempt at levity.

    "It’s more complicated than you think." Bette took a deep breath. "Remember how we all got arrested when those assholes tried to stop the artwork from coming into the museum?" Tina nodded. "Well, they called Candace and I the "instigators" or something ridiculous like that." Bette rolled her eyes. "They put us in a cell together, away from everyone else. I was fighting so hard not to touch her. I turned away from her, pressed myself against the wall to get as far away as I could from her." Bette closed her eyes and shook her head back and forth slowly, as though trying to erase the memory like one would clear the picture from an etch-a-sketch. "We started talking about the things we wanted to do to each other, even though we both knew we couldn’t actually do them. It was like phone sex, only we were a few feet away from each other." Bette opened her eyes, waiting for Tina’s response. She watched the expressions on Tina’s face change from confusion to comprehension to disappointment.

    "Then what?" Tina asked, her eyes narrowed as she was still trying to make sense of Bette’s previous sentence.

    "Then the next day, I failed you again. As if the kiss and the jail cell weren’t enough. I allowed myself to fail you completely, Tee. I got in her car and asked her to take me somewhere. And she did. She took to some little bed and breakfast. But more importantly, she took me away from everything that was wrong in my life. Everything I had fucked up so completely. She took all of the control that had slowly suffocated me. And once the burden of that control was gone, I felt like I could breathe for the first time in months." Bette paused. "I’m sorry, Tina, I know I’m not explaining this very well at all. I’m trying, really, I am." Tina felt her anger beginning to subside as she softly stroked Bette’s cheek with the back of her hand, her free hand still intertwined with Bette’s.

    "I know you’re trying, Baby. I know." Tina whispered. "We’ll get through this."

     

    (To Be Continued…) 

    Comments

    1. Damn, that was a downer. Tina is acting pretty saint like because I’m pretty sure if I was hearing that BS, even if its all true, I’d be way, way more pissed about it.

    2. Steph, this is an intense chapter. Infidelity is hard thing on everyone involved, and the journey back together for the couple, is a task in itself. These chapter evoke quite a bit of emotion for me personally. You are a brilliant writer if you can evoke such raw emotion, and that you do. Thank you for posting.

    3. Some things should be taken to the grave. This Candace thing is one of them. Never, never in a million years would I tell my spouse the blow-by-blow of how I cheated, if I were to cheat. To the grave! And beyond!

    4. Some things you talk about,others you try to keep hidden deep with in yourself. If Bette didnt tell Tina the guilt would eat her alive. It would always be in the back of her mind ready to escape. thanks

    5. Wow, I just caught up with all of this. You are doing such a fantastic job of getting them through all of this. Where were you when season 3 was happening? Your version is so what should have transpired and still should.

    6. Wow…just wow… So intense, so painful for both. But they have to get past this to move forward together so they won’t dwell on assumptions about what happened and why. Another excellent gap filler!

    7. I love your story and this chapter was quite emotional; Bette& Tina are doing a huge step to built a very strong relationship…Please don’t let us wait too long until your next post !! ;-)

    8. whoa!!!! i thught tina would be disgusted by the cell scene…and btw i always thought it was significant that they put the white gals in one cell and the biracial/african-american girls in the other…anyway…pps

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