I think about her all the time. When I am supposed to be reviewing works for my next show, my vision blurs and I see her casually pull her hand through her wavy hair while she utters something that makes me laugh. I should be focused on the discussion with the latest contributor but I think of how she licks then sucks my bottom lip, how gone I am when she releases it, allowing me to twirl in space a bit until I return to devour her mouth again. When I am with an artist I may want to show, I think about the way she fully sucks my tongue into her mouth, so that all I can do is surrender it to her.

Sleep eludes me as visions of her, cute and *****, dance like the sheep I should be counting when I try to fall off. When sleep finally comes it is fitful as I dream about the things I want to do to her, how I want to ravish her when we finally get to that point. Morning wood is a concept I fully understand as I awake every morning thinking of her.

When were together my fantasies take over. As we wait in line for our Slurpees, I think I can grab her around the waist and kiss her hard, drinks be damned, as I walk her back to the refrigerator, pin her arms above her head with one hand while the other studies the curves that she displays so well. While were eating dinner I hold her hand, fondle her fingers, think about how each would feel in my mouth, my meal barely touched. When she talks to me I see her mouth, her sweet lips, moving but can only hear certain words as I practice in my head the Lambada I want our tongues to engage in.

My lips are always slightly parted as I think of her because I constantly replay our kisses in my head. My panties are always moist as I imagine my hands on her, my mouth on her, my tongue on her, my body on her, my fingers in her. I feel her seeping into my being, my mind free floats while my body reacts to what I have only imagined. How gone am I?

Today will be different. Today I am planning the seduction of Ms. Tina Kennard. If she had been *****, I would have long ago had her in my bed. If she did not mean as much I would have pushed up on her just to see how she would handle it. But I think from the beginning I have been going, going and am finally gone for this beautiful, *****, funny, intelligent, caring woman and just dont want to ***** up our first time.

We have plans for dinner at my house, of course I have already chosen the meal to order from my favorite restaurant. I have candles that will provide soft fragrance while casting sensual shadows around the house. I have the music selected to encourage libido, some mixed CDs of artists who have the ability to make clothing fall off. I hope she wears something that can be easily removed, I love her selection of funky sleeveless tops and jeans that hug her curves the way I want to.

Heres how it played in my mind:
Tina walks through the door and I give her a soft kiss as I take her jacket and purse. I offer her a Margarita that I pre-mixed except for the ice. I add the ice, shake it vigorously and pour. I lead her to the couch as I hand her the drink. I toast her Tina, I am so glad you came into my life, heres to the many good times that I know we will share in the future, she smiles that Tina smile and says … from your mouth baby. I put my glass down after I take a big sip and move in to kiss T as I take her glass from her hand.

I kneel in front of her on the couch and look up into her eyes, I continue our kiss. She looks down at me, strokes my face and hair, I wind my arms around her waist and find the hem of her shirt. I move my hands beneath the fabric and splay my hand on her bare back before I create gentle circles with my thumb. Her breath catches as I make similar small circles on her neck with my tongue, teasing lightly then biting gently. I move my hands to the front of her to graze her ***** through her shirt. Dave Matthews Band sings:

Spring sweet rhythm dance in my head
Slip into my lover’s hands
Kiss me won’t you kiss me now
And sleep I would inside your mouth
Don’t be us too shy
For knowing it’s no big surprise that
I will wait for you
I will wait for no one but you

I lower my hands to her legs to rub her outer thighs through her jeans. I move slowly and almost imperceptibly toward her inner thighs, she opens to me and stares into my eyes. I move to whisper into her ear as my tongue traces her lobe Tina, I want you, oh baby, how I want you, please say yes. She says oh Bette in that breathy way that has stopped all previous sessions, but this time she reaches to unbutton and unzip her jeans.

My eyes cloud with desire as I stand her up and free her of her clothes and try to absorb the beauty of her body. Of course she is ready for this encounter, for our physical union to be added to what has already been an almost cosmic connection in the mental and emotional realms. I shed my clothes as I walk her to my bedroom, engaging her in a passionate kiss. Like leading her in a dance I use my mouth to steer her, avoid obstacles and direct her to my bed. I place my hand behind her head and lower her to the bed. Sade sings:
Your kisses ring,
round and round and round my head.
Touching the very part of me.
It’s making my soul sing.
Tearing the very heart of me.
I’m crying out for more

I gently fit my body into her curves, my legs into hers, my lips and tongue to hers. My hands do a dance of discovery, light pressure then heavier pressure as I gauge the reaction to my touch on different parts of her body. I kiss and lick my way down her body to her gorgeous *****, greedily devouring each in its turn. Artfully playing the nipples to see how Tina reacts to the sensation of lapping, flicking, biting, sucking – I need to know, her pleasure is my goal. Feel her yearning rise as I focus on each nipple, feel each harden in my mouth.

I look into her eyes and see her raw desire and hope, deep down, that I am the only one who can do this to her. I ask her what do you want me to do? as I continue to move down her body. Forgetting her ***** for a moment, I kiss and lick her belly. She answers I want you to make love to me in the raspy way that comes from unbridled longing and she spreads her legs for me.

I respond with tender kisses on her thighs, a soft exhale of air on her ***** as I move from one leg to the other. I sniff deeply to imprint her scent on my brain because I know this is the scent that marks me. I tease her with gentle flicks of my tongue as I pass over her ***** again and again. She moans, pushes herself toward me as my flicks increase in frequency and pressure. Shes so wet and I use my tongue to grab some of the moisture as I begin to lightly suck her. My hands caress her inner thighs as she spreads her legs further and further until she is fully open to me.

I move my caresses to her belly as I increase the pressure on her *****. She moans loudly (I know she will, they all do) but her moan is like Jasons Sirens, it is a sound that is compelling. The sound that leaves me hopelessly incapacitated to everyone but her, unable to resist her every whim and desire. I bite and lick and suck and rub until I feel her body tense and her toes curl. I want to feel her *****, the first that I elicited. I move my tongue to her center and feel her muscles contract around it and feel her fluids gather upon it and feel my heart swell and wonder how I have lived my life without her. Aretha sings:

I didn’t know just what was wrong with me
Till your kiss helped me name it
Now I’m no longer doubtful
Of what I’m livin’ for
And if I make you happy
I don’t need to do more

My soul fills with joy as I watch her return to me, more beautiful than any woman who walks this earth. She grabs me up, pulls me to her mouth, kisses me hard, I fall into her knowing that we have finally found one another.

But of course that is not how it happened because when Tina arrived the reality was quite different from my fantasy. It took an entirely different route because I was just a Nervous Nelly, my plan was on hold and my experience was nearly null and void.